Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Complicated living situations


#1

My older brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia around 5 years ago when he was 19. Right now, he lives with my mom and her parents (It’s my grandparents’ house, my mom moved back in after divorcing my dad and my brother and younger sister moved in with her). My grandmother gets vicious and emotionally abusive very fast when frustrated. As you can imagine, it can be very frustrating for her to have Gabe around and as a result she is absolutely horrible to him. It is not a healthy situation for him or for anyone, really. She is right on the verge of throwing him out and my mom is trying to arrange for him to move back in with my dad. Here is the problem: My dad is a manipulator and my brother is very easy to manipulate. My dad has stolen my brother’s disability checks in the past and has him convinced that he has money put away for him (he most certainly does not). My dad is also not attentive enough to handle my brother. My brother has had problems with drugs and alcohol in the past and when he his at my dad’s house he has essentially no supervision at all.
There is no good, safe place for my brother to live. My mom is not financially stable enough to move out of her mother’s house. My dad should not be an option. I have been wondering recently if I should try to get him to move in with me (I’m attending graduate school several states away), but I can’t imagine my husband going for it. We both go to school and work full-time and we don’t have a lot of time or money. My mom has talked to my brother about some kind of assisted housing situation, but he does not want to do that, so we’re kind of out of options. If anyone has any advice, I’d welcome it. Thank you.


#2
  1. Your mom would do well to read http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Schizophrenia-6th-Edition-Family/dp/0062268856, because it addresses situations like this (they are waaaaaay common).

  2. Whatever your mom can do to keep the two of them separated, understand that gramma is probably going demented, and counsel Gabe to that effect, will be helpful.

  3. I would contact your local Dept. of Public Social Services to see if you can make an appointment to run the situation down to to a licensed clinical social worker to see if he or she can come up with some options. Is Gabe already on SSDI? If not, he should be.


#3

Hi notmoses,

That’s a great idea! I’ll call my mom and see if she’s talked to a social worker. They definitely need someone to mediate. I’ll also point her toward that book (I might pick up a copy for me too). Yes, Gabe is on SSDI. That’s part of why I’m so concerned about him going back to my dad. I want him to keep his money.


#4

Hi AF cake

You could also call the local NAMI office in his city. If he is stable he could possibly find a nice roommate to share with’
They might also have some other leads on housing for him. He’s lucky to have a sister like you.

Tea42


#5

He is should be able to get section 8 housing.
A case manager from social services would be able to help him with all of that.
Good luck! OO


#6

@AFrivolousCake

If you talk to the Social Security office, you might be able to get a case worker and a third party representative payee. That way someone not affiliated with the family at all would help your brother be in charge of his money making sure your father couldn’t just take it.

My brother had a case worker for a while and he really helped us navigate a lot of issues and got us appointment with care teams, visiting nurses, wellness check-up’s and a lot of other services that were a great help.

Look in to https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychosocial-Treatments

they have ACT teams-

team-based treatment model that provides multidisciplinary, flexible treatment and support to people with mental illness 24/7. ACT is based around the idea that people receive better care when their mental health care providers work together. ACT team members help the person address every aspect of their life, whether it be medication, therapy, social support, employment or housing. - See more at: https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychosocial-Treatments#sthash.pR0DTbdb.dpuf

Clubhouses

Clubhouses are community-based centers open to individuals with mental illness. Clubhouse members have the opportunity to gain skills, locate a job, find housing, and pursue continuing education. Members work side-by-side with staff to make sure the program operates smoothly. Members also have the opportunity to take part in social events, classes and weekend activities. - See more at: https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychosocial-Treatments#sthash.pR0DTbdb.dpuf

I hope this helps a little. NAMI also has a lot of information on support groups for caregivers and a vast amount of resources. I hope this works out for your brother.

Thank you for letting me post


#7

Thank you guys.

I’m going to send my mom a link to this discussion. There are a lot of good ideas here. I really appreciate your help.