Yes, I did reference negative terms using an example from my personal experiences - this is an open forum for people to share their experiences. You are not the sole audience to a thread.
People on this forum come from many perspectives. We all have your feelings from time to time. It’s okay for me to share where I am on this journey.
The anger I can feel when needed? My son has a tiger of a mom in his corner - too bad scz is pretty tough on all the tiger parents.
I believe we all have a duty to our children, the rest of our families and ourselves to exert damage control in our lives. The damage from scz can run all over us if we let it. We have to get up and carry on, our family members need us.
I sometimes send a private message to someone if it is a friend, who posts something on FB and they usually will alter or take down their post. Its typically just lack of education of exposure.
The general use of the word ‘crazy’ is not banned from my vocabulary - I just don’t typically use it to describe a PERSON. To me, its just a word to describe something that is nonsensical.
I consulted my friend who led our FtF class. She says that my husband needed that cold dash of water as his brain was totally locked up in denial. It probably saved our marriage. I had about had it with him and his attitude toward our son at that point As she taught in class - marriages break up when the parents are at two different stages and can’t get along - because- they are at two different stages. She also said I need to mention that my journey back to humor was a long one and people shouldn’t try to replicate it. Both of my children were diagnosed with the same terminal kidney disease early in January of 2000. I didn’t laugh until 2013 after I met her. My friend agrees with @Jan. She said a therapist could have helped me to stop ping ponging back and forth between anger and depression for so many years.
Please don’t trivialize the pain of seeing a spouse or significant other struggle with this disease. I get that you are a MOM, but I lived through 20-plus years of this disease ravaging the fate of a young man, crushing dreams of a career and family of his own.
@Jan, thank you for your subtle suggestion of seeking therapy. Because I feel it’s a personal decision, I would never rudely tell anyone to seek help. Yes, it was rude and callous.
As far as trivializing, I found your comment about the usage of words “crazy” and “psycho” to be rather cold. Did it ever occur to you that this is a journey, and everyone’s healing process is different? Did it ever occur to you that I’m not “there” yet?
And @hope, before you chime in, remember you mentioned open forum, so I also have a right to say how I feel as well.
Perhaps you ladies are a lot older and have dealt with this a lot longer than me. I don’t know. And frankly, I don’t ever see myself getting to a “good place” about this.
@Jan, if you disagree so wholeheartedly, why even comment? Just to be someone’s thorn on the side? I’ve read some of your comments on others posts, you don’t come off very thoughtful or empathetic. I thought this was a support group, not antagonize group. Maybe this no longer phases you, I don’t know.
We have all gone through a difficult journey with our loved ones and everyone’s experiences are different and we are all at different points on different paths of processing those experiences. All the experiences and paths are different but equally valid.
This is a site to focus on our commonalities and areas where we can help and learn from each other and not so much on our differences, so I’m going to close this discussion right now as it doesn’t seem to be helping people.
Please try to focus on the things that bring us together and try to let the differences in our approaches and perspectives be taken just as just that. Different approaches that may work for us, or may not - but they may just let it go it not.
Take care of yourself and your family this season.
