Hi all, I’m new and terrified and sick and miserable. My son is almost 20, so he’s right on schedule for schizophrenia. He is seeing a psychiatrist and is on a lot of medications. This has probably been going on longer than we knew but certainly since summer. FYI, the medication for side effects was a game changer, at least for now. Still not stable though.
Anyway, I’m so sick about this stuff that I can’t eat or sleep. I’m still maintaining helping him but I’m going to burn out. My anxiety is so high that I never want to not be with him. It makes me feel better when I know he’s feeling OK. I can’t do NAMI online support because I don’t want him to hear me talking about him. I’d say stupid COVID but I’m actually grateful he’s in online school. I think we’d have to pull him out otherwise.
I feel like my life is over and now will always be defined by my son’s illness, sorry if that sounds selfish. I’m scared he’ll kill himself eventually. I’m scared he’ll never be happy. I’m scared and so so so very sad and stressed. I don’t know how I’ll ever survive this, except I don’t have a choice.