Do you ever feel as a mom that you are on a rollercoaster ride?

My son has been in a long term care for awhile since May and I just feel like I have not been able to breath. The medication changes/ episodes cuttings/ trying to hurt himself to begging me to come home…I’m happy If I had 1 day of being able to relax few times! I feel like I’m on a freakn rollercoaster ride myself riding it with my son …It’s really sucking the life out of me and I’m on depression pills and I try to get out of the funk day by day by gardening ect. but I just feel like it’s really taking a toll out of me. Thanks for just letting me vent and put my feelings on this site…

Dont stay on that ride with your son! He has to ride it-you just have to help. Take a few days for yourself. I ws also put on Zoloft and Klonopin when my son was diagnosed. Still on them. I missed a LOT of work! Was lucky to have my job on my side because I didnt have much family support. I also realized that I was making emergencies out of everything.
Please take some time -out…I was very stubborn and it almost killed me.
Come here any time and talk—it helps!

I don’t have any advice. I don’t know how you get off this ride. I know I hear and feel the same thing, its painful. Maybe the ones that have figured it out have been at it longer, or handle it differently. i don’t know. But yes, I can relate, we haven’t’ much choice, not much control. Keep up the fight.

Yeah, you have to take care of yourself. It won’t help your son if you go under and develop physical or mental health problems. He’s depending on you.You’re both depending on you.Take a time out and have some fun. It will help you. It certainly won’t hurt you. You need to be there for him which means you need as many of your faculties as possible and having fun relieves stress. Go to a movie, out to eat, to a play, go hear some live music somewhere, go to the museum, drive somewhere nice and take a walk. In my early disease I really depended on my mom and dad. But they still lived their lives by going out with friends etc. And I certainly never begrudged them living normal lives.I was hospitalized, they visited me and brought me Crossword puzzle books, People Magazines, yogurt covered raisins. My sisters helped me immensely but they were still busy getting married, having kids, traveling. They had normal lives but they picked me up and took me places. Gardening is good but maybe you want entertainment. Good luck.

One word answer - YES.

I feel like this all the time. There are times when I am so grateful I even still have a daughter after her suicide attempts, and I am grateful for how well she’s doing and that we’ve gotten through the kind of crisis you’re talking about. And then there are other times I’m terrified for her future, whether she’ll ever be independent, what happens to her if something happens to me, how we’ll get through another episode. And then there are times when I feel I’m mourning the loss of the daughter I thought I was going to have, and then other times I think in some ways she’s better than before she got sick. So many emotions,often conflicting, cascading into each other. Yes, I think that is totally normal for sz caregivers.

Thank you everyone all comments are appreciated …I am going to try to take your advice and do other things and just have fun a little more. I have to take time to take care of myself and get my battery charged so when he needs me the next time I will have the strength .

Exactly. You’ve got to be in good shape for the both of you. Mentally and physically.