Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Does the Paranoia Make Me the Guilty Party?

I’ve been in a relationship with an SZ patient for the past three years and I have read about this disease on this site, many other sites. I have participated in therapy sessions with my guy and his counselor. I have learned about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which meds people got the most relief from when dealing with treatment resistant SZ…

What I want to know is how to deal with the paranoia…I usually keep my phone on silent because if a notification or a text message comes, I am accused of having other men hidden behind names of my friends and family! I have been called the filthiest names as a result of his paranoia… this was particularly bad last night and we are away with another couple at a cabin.

What’s the best way to deal with these behaviors? To be quite honest, I’m very angry at him today and am wondering if this is too much…if you have had this going on, please tell me how it was handled.

I’ve been diagnosed as having schizoaffective disorder. I can be very paranoid. But I trust my husband and he’s really good to me. Honestly, if your partner sees you as the enemy that’s not good. If your partner will be honest in dr appointments to find the best med(s), and they’re serious about taking their meds, then that’s ok. But if not, I don’t think you should stay together. It’s too unhealthy for both of you

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Thanks @Zannah. I appreciate an honest answer. TBH, he’s med compliant and does the therapy with me present. I just don’t know what else I can do to be supportive and the thing last night left me so angry!

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I’m glad he’s med compliant but it sounds like he needs a med adjustment. Most people with schizophrenia are not violent. But some are. I would be weary of letting it get out of control. I know I’m never violent. And to be honest, I have a hard time considering myself as schizoaffective. But I take meds and report issues to my dr. We are regularly trying to change my meds until they can make my “symptoms” go away. Regardless, I never am paranoid of my husband and wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship with him if I thought he was after me. I don’t know much about your husband though. Does he ever lash out or get aggressive with you? If I were you, I would sit down with him and discuss getting a med adjustment ASAP to be safe.

Is it paranoia or is it his own insecurities and jealousy of other men? Insecure people tend to think like that a lot. Honestly, if he keeps thinking you have other men just because of a text or phone call, then I don’t think he is qualified to be a mate.

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Thanks @Zannah and @Lirik for your honest comments. You’ve both given me lots to think about. His SZ meds have been adjusted as of late yesterday—you both were right. I honestly thought the doctor would maybe admit him and he wouldn’t have gone with that. The APs have been increasing very steadily since the beginning of this year (1 mg twice daily increased to 10 mg once daily of haloperidol—for starters). He isn’t happy when I call his doctor’s office but it needed to be done. Thanks again! :heart:

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I would definitely go with your gut on this. That type of behaviour is not nice nor must it be acceptable by you MH issues or not. If you don’t feel safe then that’s your answer. If you feel guilty but have done nothing wrong then you’re emotionally unsafe. My suggestion would be to go and see a therapist yourself, someone who has experience in serious MH issues and get their take on things so you can have a clearer view on things. I’ll be the first to admit, my rose coloured glasses and very thick!

From experience you can’t reason with someone in this stage, don’t try to. Wild accusations are just symptoms, of the uncontrolled condition. He has to do his part and take his medications and see his doctor just like any other health issue or there will be no peace. This is a lifetime commitment for both of you.