Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Pretty normal around friends but paranoia and delusional with family?


#1

Have any of you experienced this with your loved one with mental illness? My boyfriend is just started to spiral back into paranoia and delusions after being symptom free for almost a year… he is very irritable and angry with me, shouting at the wall, jumping on things he “sees” on the ground, trying to smash them, even though nothing’s there. He has moved in with a friend because he believes the police are bugging him at our house, and thinks I bring the police to him every time I come home. That’s why he moved out. His friend that he moved in with keeps telling me over the past few days that my boyfriend seems, “fine, social, and laughing a lot.” My brother has schizophrenia and my mom said he does the same. It’s almost like they can switch their mood or thoughts based on who they’re around.
Has anyone else experienced this? It’s very confusing to me.


#2

I have to some extent. And I agree, I think they can change how they act based on who they’re with. Actually, I think it’s more that they’re good at hiding it. My boyfriend has sz as well, and he hasn’t shown any signs of paranoia yet but he does have regular repeating hallucinations and voices in his head. All of this just came to light about a month ago, and I never would have known or guessed. We’ve been together 4 years.

I think perhaps your boyfriend lets it out more around you because he feels safe with you. My boyfriend is the picture perfect employee at work, never misses a day and leaves the house 2 hours before his shift starts. He’s always done that. But at home, he lets himself show towards me more than he does anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, he still withholds things from me. But I don’t question his love for me and I think part of it is a protection thing. He doesn’t want me to see how bad he’s hurting.

I can’t say if the same is true for your boyfriend, but maybe it’s a conversation worth having. Maybe it’s to protect you and so that you won’t have to see that side of him. It’s easier for him to be around friends in that sense.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m still trying to figure it all out myself. But if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me anytime.