@AlpD Im so sorry that you’re dealing with this. I want to let you know that you’re not alone. We have similar issues with our daughter. She became convinced during her first psychosis that my husband tried to kill her. With her second psychosis she started claiming he was a pedophile. She doesn’t claim that her did anything to her, just that he is one. It’s so very heartbreaking. They have always had a close relationship and I now worry about his mental health constantly. Not sure our family unit will ever be while again.
Thank you. It means a lot for folks to share their struggles with me. I know our family can never be the same. My husband’s passive and apathetic response to the problem has revealed so much to me. It’s made me lose respect for him. I know not to count on him now to advocate for me if/when I’m the one in need. It’s interesting to hear him repeat to others how “we” have tried this and that, when I n reality he has not done a damn thing.
I’m so sorry that you feel so alone with everything you’re dealing with, @Bucky . The exhaustion is monumental without feeling completely alone. Sending you so much love.
I’m new here. We just lost our daughter to suicide. She had schizoaffective disorder and other diagnoses. To add insult to injury, some anonymous person advised my son to get a police report from the time she was missing and found deceased because of “reports of sexual abuse.” (He did so, and there was no mention of sexual abuse.) When our daughter was delusional, she accused my husband of sexual impropriety and worse. At first, I was not sure what to believe— although I have no reason to believe he abused her, how could I know for sure? When we heard the accusation that both of us had killed a brother (by some other last name—a totally fictional person as far as we know), I realized she was just severely ill. Now, when we are grieving her loss, we have to try to deal with wondering who out there thinks this to be true. It is horrible, especially for my husband, thinking that people aren’t going to trust him. And I am seriously questioning my version of reality and my own sanity. I am seeing a therapist and will talk about this. But it helps to know that others out there have experienced the same thing.
My heart broke reading this. My child attempted when they were 13, the only reason they’re alive is because I woke up (strange spiritual things were afoot that night) and stopped their attempt before they died. Of course, gave me horrible PTSD. And I’ve spent every day since worrying that they will eventually be successful and since they now believe I did this terrible thing to them, I really have no way to help them. I’m so sorry. There’s nothing else worse a parent can go through. I hope you have a source of support. You certainly don’t need the added worry and stress on top of everything else. After my child made their initial accusation I came very close to leaving this world - who would believe me? But then I came to realize that the truth was my ally, and that has been what I return to again and again. When you don’t have to worry about having a story to remember and keep straight, it allows you a certain freedom. I wish you the best, please try and get some form of emotional support, through therapy or counseling or a close friend. We’re with You.
We had a decent relationship with my daughter before she died. She had come to realize that she’d experienced delusions. She allowed the whole family back into her life, and we spent a fair amount of time together. We just weren’t able to take her pain away. Today we’re just slogging through the sickening feeling of having fingers pointed at us.
I am so sorry you have lost your daughter. I know you are grateful that your relationship had become decent and that she had allowed the whole family back into her life. I hope it gives you some solace that eventually the word will get around that your daughter struggled with mental illness. Sadly, scandal type news gets around faster than the truth. Will you or did you mention her struggle with mental illness in her obituary?
We did not mention her illness in her obituary. Most of our acquaintances know. Abuse allegations go out like dandelion seeds, never to be retrieved, and there will always be those who wonder if it’s true. I am trying to use CBT techniques when I feel overwhelmed and questioning my own sanity—asking myself what I know to be true.
Our family members believe their delusions so strongly, of course it makes us ask ourselves questions. My son by life still gets caught up in his wife’s delusions -even after her diagnosis. She is so earnest, so distraught, he gets caught up and forgets.
If anyone should address you with accusations, maybe using the old “I won’t believe what she said about you, if you don’t believe what she said about us”
@mommyloon I am so sorry for your loss. I think this is probably all of our biggest fears. There is nothing we can say to make it better, but please know you have a community of complete strangers that believe in you. Hopefully once the shock wears off other people will too. Be good to yourself.
Thank you, everyone, for your caring and support. I visited my therapist today and she reminded me of two important things to remember:
I only need to concentrate on that which I can control.
I can’t control what other people think of me, and I don’t need to worry about what other people think of me.
I have written these down and may need to read and repeat them every morning for awhile.
Take good care of yourselves! We are all doing the best we can with what we have and know.
I agree, the ONLY way the psychosis ended for my daughter was a 2nd arrest that led to a court hearing which led to a psychiatric evaluation in jail that led to her 5th forced hospitalization and for the first time a forced long acting shot monthly. Eventually she came to see her illness and accept getting her shot monthly but it took years. In the beginning, I was certain that calling the police on her was wrong, but I came to wish I’d done it sooner in the years long battle to help her regain her sanity.