Has anyone else experienced paranoid false accusations by their schizophrenic child? What is the best way to handle the situation when they appear to the lay public as sounding very normal. We would appreciate some guidance. Thank you. We have just joined the site.
I have a feeling there will be a lot of responses to this one. I’ve been told I was a terrible mother and that I abused my son by making him stay in his room all the time and FORCED him to play baseball (through varsity - and he was good). These accusations were more of the early stages of his psychosis as he doesn’t talk to me much these days. When he lived with his father (over a year ago) he told him I had been poisoning him.
I’m not sure what kinds of accusations you’re talking about, but there are many threads you can search for on this site that have to do with anything from food poisoning to sexual assault. Just search for the type of accusation you’re experiencing. I assure you, you’re not alone.
We’ve been accused of the worst of the worst, and then some. Unfortunately for us, it still happens, even after many months of steady medication.
I too would be interested in what kind of accusations, because depending on the type there could be a different response or reaction for each. When my son was very ill he accused me constantly of talking behind his back and holding him prisoner against his will, even though he had a key to the door and could come and go as he pleased. I would just say very calmly that I was sorry he felt that way but I disagreed.
My son has accused us, his parents, of sexual abuse as a child. He tells people we beat him as a child. He says his dad tried to turn him into a nazi. We forced him to support us and pay all the bills when he lived at home (even though he never kept a job). He had to pay for all of our family vacations. I could go on and on. My son is 31 and doesn’t take medicine. We love him so much and have to tell each other that it is the illness.
My son’s paranoid false accusations really ramped up the past year. He began reaching out to family members he had not seen in years asking them to intervene on his behalf. We think the sexual abuse accusations started when someone began harassing him in an online computer game. His paranoia which has focused on his dad in the past, began focusing on both of us, he thought we were the online harasser. He is convinced we were sexually abusing him online.
Before the sexual abuse accusations started, he usually just blamed us for yelling ugly things at him. He hears voices yelling names at him and deluded they were us. He claims that he reported us to RAIN twice. One night he called 911 so many times to report us sexually abusing him through this computer, that the sheriff’s office called me at 1am and asked me to get him to stop calling 911.
I did the Amador response stuff for a long time. Finally I stopped using it when the texted rants would come in. I would ignore the accusations and just respond to the texts that weren’t accusing me.
He also would stand on his porch and yell our full names as loud as he could informing the neighbors we were sexually abusing him. I didn’t respond on these occasions. The neighbors know he has brain damage.
I did take screen shots of the accusation texts and kept records of the dates when he called 911. I included faxed copies of the screen shots to his psychiatrist to keep him in the loop.
Has your child been diagnosed?
I’m a member of this club. It comes and goes. If its a good day, I might say, I’m sorry you feel that way, or try to change the topic to something pleasant; otherwise I do my best to keep from responding at all.
I don’t know if my son says these things to other people. He tends to keep his psychosis under wraps when we go out. It sometimes seeps out as surliness or insults in public, but nothing too horrible anymore.
The false accusations from our family member were during times with lots of symptoms and almost were not accusations since they were so bizarre in nature.
Hi, when my son was psychotic, before he was diagnosed and medicated, he accused me of all kinds of things, such as I am not his real mother, I am the worst mother ever, and he always said I am stealing his dreams. Many more I am sure, but can’t remember. Since he has been medicated he never does it.
If we could go back in time, I wish we hadn’t responded with so much attention to sexual assault accusations that our son made during his first major psychotic episode.
The accusations weren’t directed towards us, his parents, but the person who was the target? Let me just say I will eternally feel guilt for his pain. He was just an innocent bystander, a friend.
Unfortunately the accusation involved police, detectives, etc. We had no idea the accusation was related to a developing mental illness.
With all of these players involved (us, other family, his friends, police and other officials, etc.), and uncertainty as to whether the accusation was actually true, too much attention was paid. The delusion was set in stone.
My advice? Don’t respond, or give as little attention as possible.
Edit: As anyone on this forum can probably imagine, the aforementioned delusion morphed into something much bigger. Our son now lives in constant fear.
I found myself wondering today about two claims my son had made about sexual advances. He had told me that a boss had made advances at him years ago. He said he quit his job because of it. Also, several years after that, he accused a security guard at work of “feeling him up” during a routine pat down search. My son had to access a secure area during his work and pat downs were required. The guard got in trouble. Now I wonder.
Yes. I’d wonder too, Hope.
Our son thinks anyone and everyone is a threat to his personal safety.
You can’t be sure, but you can probably conclude the reports your son gave were illness-based.
I think you are correct.