Last night my daughter called me around 8PM with a lot of anxiety and panic. She thought she was going to lose her mind and was afraid. We talked on the phone for nearly an hour. The talk was free flowing and we went through several different topics. The beginning of our conversation I told her that she is okay and nothing is going to happen to her. I asked her to please step back from the edge and to not escalate her fears. We talked through it.
We also talked about fun and happy things. It was great that I was able to calm her down. After an hour she said – Mom I think I’m okay now and can get off the phone. I felt really good that she was able to calm down and that I was able to help her.
Do any of your children call you when they are fearful and panicking?
I live with my kid sis and many of her days have been spent talking me down.
If she’s at work, I call my Dad. My Mom is who you call when you need clinical fast action. She want’s to know what is wrong. How long has this been going on, what are the other symptoms and do I feel I need extra assistance. boom boom boom… no time for pondering or long rambles of words.
Dad is more of a mellow fellowship sort of listener. If I panic but need to meander through the conversation and just babble, Dad is the go to guy for more passive patient listening. I won’t get a clinical answer. But if I call him, I don’t always need one. I just need to talk it out.
When my sis is afraid she’ll call me or my other brother. I get the feeling she does not call our parents.
I have schizophrenia and I used to feel that way, the anxiety and panic. It helped me a lot when my mother was able to talk me better, by being a comfort, whether over the phone or in person. Its good your daughter has someone nice like you to talk to and rely on.
Thank you Karl. It’s great you have a mom to confide in. We all need people we trust to talk through problems or just have a listening ear. I have two go to sisters to call when I am feeling down or just need to talk things through.
That’s great your daughter was able to call you and get support. It sounds like you two have a good relationship. I also have a good relationship with my mom and can tell her anything even if it’s bizarre. Nothing scares her even when I’m having thoughts to kill her. At my last therapy appt my therapist was able to reality test my fears which helped a lot. Reality testing is hard for me to do when I start having delusions. Good luck to you.
Thank you Sun Girl. Me and my daughter have a very good relationship, of course there are days where we stay clear of each other. We realize we both need space from one another. I can get pretty upset with her and I find when I feel like that it’s best to keep my mouth shut and work through my irritation and/or resentment.
Hi Molly - Yes, I am my son’s go-to person when he is fearful, not doing well, or panicking. He is trying so hard to be independent but when things start getting out of hand he will come to me. Even though things can get strained and stressed between us sometimes, he knows I will always be here for him.
Son’s living quarters are in the basement of our home. He wanted to move down to the apartment when his older sister moved out on her own. I can tell when he is afraid or not doing well because he will come upstairs to sleep and hang out in our guest bedroom. As much as I think it annoys him at times to have me and my husband in such close proximity, it is also a comfort to him. It is a comfort to me to know I have comforted him
Dear lovemyson: Your son is very fortunate to have such good parents. There are folks out there who receive no emotional support at all from their families. It’s so sad.
Thank you Molly. I often wonder what those individuals do who have no caring families. Like children who age out of foster care at 18. Of course this is about the time sz appears. It’s very sad to think about.
My son and I are getting better at working thru panic and de-escalating. I am learning to acknowledge and reassure and then disengage. He is learning to better express what is really worrying him, and let me know when he is getting control again.
