I am here at the residential program. Libby fell apart again and became suicidal again. I feel so shattered. Am I doing the right thing? Why do I feel like I am abandoning my child? I am relieved and yet feel awful? Will she be safe? Will they take care of her? Will it help? Or make it worse?
Do you like the place well enough? Do you feel she will be properly monitored?
It is not abandoning her, it is trying something to help her.
Remember it does not have to be a permanent decision.
Like Valpen says, if the place looks decent, give it a try. If it doesn’t work out, you can always discharge her.
You are not abandoning her! You are keeping her safe.
This place is definitely an upgrade over the last hospital. You can see wear and tear but no more than any other hospital. I am going to try to get a tour if they will allow it, either today or in the future.
I wouldn’t place someone in a place that doesn’t allow tours, reasonable visitation, and reasonable communication.
This is a huge upgrade over the prior hospital. Much more flexible and visitation is longer than an hour. It’s actually 11-7 on weekends which is awesome. And if she is good, she can leave for the day.
Feeling much better about this place now. She is authorized for a week for evaluation.
Sounds hopeful! Prayers it works out well for you and your daughter!
Charity, what does your gut tell you? In my opinion, it is worth a try. Hang in there. You are doing the best you can and I know it isn’t an easy decision.
Wishing you all the best. Fingers crossed for your girl. Deep breaths. It’ll be OK.
Thanks to everyone who’s posted. Today was a very long day. The facility seems to be a really great fit and Libby has already made friends with her two roommates, both girls her age. She didn’t eat dinner tonight, which concerns me a little but she’s been having really bad taste hallucinations so it’s not a big surprise. She didn’t eat much at lunch either - just mainly nibbled on things. Everything ended up tasting rotten.
Staff warned me to be prepared for the long haul - her symptoms are already some of the most severe they’ve seen in her age group at this facility. It’s also one of the few in the state for treating mental illness in kids her age. The staff were very kind to me and it was one of the least stressful experiences I’ve had in the last six weeks.
Now I just have to get used to not having her around every day. And not being able to hug her.
In other news, I was invited to share my story on a blog recently and it’ll be published soon. I’m going to start writing professionally about mental health to raise some awareness. I need to find an outlet. I can’t fix her but maybe I can make the world a little nicer for her and others like her. After all, we could all benefit from a little more kindness and understanding. Be the change you want to see in the world, right?
I think you are doing the right thing. it’s so hard, we are just parents dealing with very difficult situations. Take this time to do some breathing and praying.
visit often, send letters and call her. from your previous post it sounds like you are okay with the residents.
God bless you
You go girl!!!
It seems like you have finally found a place that is willing to work along with you…how awesome is that! Good work muum, good work!!
Keeping you both in my thoughts daily,
sending warmth and encouragement to Libby.
(I’d like to send you something for her…is that okay?)
Oh that would be wonderful. I was going to post to see if anyone would be willing to send some funny cards or happy pictures and things that I could send her each week to help her. She is going to get lonely during the week and since I can only visit on the weekends I was going to send her something each week too. Grandparents are going to as well
We sent so many postcards to our family member that I would put a joke on one postcard with its punchline on another.
I have an update. Libby is doing okay in the residential program. Today I talked to the psychiatrist and she agrees with my assessment of Libby’s symptoms. She will be officially diagnosing her with schizophrenia before her discharge. So finally we can start solving some issues and helping her properly.
you’ve made it to a better place in time!
Way to go…
(Sending package this weekend…keep an eye out for it. Son drew her some pics too, very specific drawings…another “tree”.)
Thank you for the update. Has she adjusted pretty well and have they seen what you have at home?
Adjusted well? Not entirely. But she’s more stable than she has been. They have seen what I have and then some. She went so far as to attack another child there, a boy. She kicked him in the privates and he slapped her in the face. But they are handling her well. Much better than the last place.
I am so proud of you for your persistence. Sometimes when we are at our wits end, help comes. Are they able to separate them her on our. How large is the facility? Do they also receive therapy?
The facility is very large and her unit holds 16 kids. They have a large staff of eight that rotates. They do therapy, have a charter school, and she has a therapist she sees twice a week. We do family therapy every Monday too. This pace has been such a help and worth every bit of what we have gone through. I am beyond relieved and grateful for the help she is getting.