Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Heartbroken Mom

My 28 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia/bi-polar! 4 years now! She has my 2 yr old grandson and another due 8.22.19! I have always been there for her - consistently!
She moves in and out from living with me and I always go out of my way to accommodate her and grandson!
However - after a week or two - voices tell her I’m out to get her or take her son away - so she hides my grandson from me and then leaves! :sob::sob::sob:
My heart is broke beyond measure! And I’m so battle weary!!! I do everything to boost her self esteem - compliment her constantly and These voices continue to tell her I’m the enemy? :sob:
She is in a psychotic state right now - out somewhere with my grandson and unborn child!
Any encouraging word would be most appreciated! God Bless each and everyone of you!

Oh, my, what a heartbreaking situation. I wish you were not emotionally suffering like this especially after all the help you have given to her.

I am guessing that she feels she is OK, and that she cannot battle the voices if they are telling her to get away from you right now.

I would also guess that she will be back when the voices quiet down and she needs your help and love.

Even when my daughter was psychotic and verbally abusive, I knew that she wanted to be with me, as she always came home. It is such a shame, this horrible mental illness, as the loved one just can’t win against the delusions and voices.

Try not to worry about what you can’t change, she will come home, most likely, when she is ready.

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So sorry you are going through this. My wife and I have been dealing with my sons diagnosis for ten plus years it has gotten better in many ways but its still a stressful daily emotional struggle. Depending on your location maybe you can get some help from social services in your community.
Just letting them know about your daughter, her condition and your grandson might help if she does need help. Letting them know about your concerns may help to pave the way if some form of intervention is needed. Is she taking her medications ? if not that might be the first thing to work on to get her stabilized. Hang in there I know how hard this is to deal with .

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Of course, you are battle weary! We understand. There is a lot of info on this Forum and recommended resources beyond the Forum. Keep learning all you can. Is your daughter on any medication or treatment for this illness? Or does she lack “insight” into her own situation?

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Thank you all for your responses! :slight_smile:
My daughter is 9 months pregnant and went off of her meds! :frowning: her Drs want her on them but … I don’t know if she fully realizes her issue! She was in the military and insists that they implanted a bug in her and are watching her! Thinking that they are using her for intelligence! :frowning: — she did not stay in military - made it through boot camp and some of AIT before being discharged! I have told her that the Army did not do that and that they or anyone is after her! :frowning:
Am hoping after she has this baby that she will get back on her meds! Not the aderall that she swears by! To me - aderall causes more issues to the already established issue!
Praying fervently for her!

As you have said, your daughter lacks insight into her illness so there is a high probability she will not take AP meds. It is scary to think about a person with SMI raising a child and the added stress of that. Please read the book “I Am Not Sick; I Don’t Need Help”.

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Thank you for your reply! :slight_smile: - it seems my daughter always ends up back at home, too but then gets paranoid and leaves! :frowning: - it’s getting harder and harder on me with each exit. Not to mention she has my 2 yr old grandson in tow! :frowning: - it seems she hates me when I feel I’ve gone above and beyond for her???
I feel depression and guilt latching on to me and I’m scared!

Since she has mental issues, perhaps child protective services should be called.

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I honestly beleive that Clozapine saved my grandsons life. He occasionally hears the voices but very faint now. He had all kinds of stuff going on people following him, reading his mind, the TVs were talking to him and we couldn’t have them on. Now he is almost back to his old self. Works fullime and he just got a new great job. Worked wonders for him. It’s the gold standard for schizophrenia but you have to fight for it

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My son was on Adderall and became violent. In my humble opinion, this in one of the worst ADHD drugs. I believe it is very chemically similar to meth. Highly addictive. If at all possible, try to get her off that medication. It is known to cause anxiety which is the last thing your daughter needs. If you have a local NAMI group near you, they have support group meetings that are beneficial. Praying for the best outcome for your daughter and the grand babies.

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My son has similar delusions and is in the grip of psychosis - he was sentioned to a hospital 3 weeks ago for treatment
Is there no way you can make that happen
It is obviously your poor daughters greatest fear to have her babies “taken away” - but you could provide care till she is well?
Has she a midwife or Care team fir her pregnancy that you could voice your concerns to?
I totally get that you wouldn’t want to be the instrument that she thinks you are - the taker of her children - but she sounds very ill and it would be better in the long run?
I covered some of my sons issues for yes - I don’t even know why now but I do know it made things worse
I sincerely hope it all turns out well - I’m sure it will - you sound very capable x

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Don’t take it personally - these are her delusions - they are not what she really believes - I know this now - my son has accused me and his father of Tryely hateful things - it’s not him. It’s his illness
I hope this makes sense x

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I am so glad to hear that Clozapine has helped your grandson so much and that he is working. The Haldol Dec shot has done the same for my daughter: ended the continuous psychosis, made the voices go way, way down, handle most delusions. Zyprexa had only about 1/5th of the benefit for her, though, earlier.

It required a 2nd police arrest while she was screaming at an office building downtown and running in and out of traffic, my testimony that she was “talking to beings up there who watched over our city and reading minds”, a compassionate judge who asked me what help I needed, my honest answer that she needed medication, that resulted in a forced hospital stay from the jail and court-ordered medication (until the DA dropped her case, but by then, she was medication compliant and doing well after 2 months of shots). Yet, now 10 months medicated after 2.5 years of psychosis) my daughter STILL feels her (much much milder) voices are real and she is not mentally ill. She takes the medicine because it “helps her work” and “keeps her out of the hospital”.

I thank God daily for the chain of events that resulted in medication compliance. Our home has peace now, and the lovely daughter I knew is still the lovely daughter I know. Her 2.5 years of mistrust, horrible dislike and vile actions directed at me are over. They were the illness speaking, not her.

@Hakunnamattata this illness is absolutely the worst nightmare a loved one has to battle. I truly believe that ONLY forced medication (the right one) was the solution for us.

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NAMI is a lifeline to cling to when things are rough. I went to 1.5 years of meetings often crying over my “unhandleable” situation. I learned a lot of things that were useful, and still are. Combined with the knowledge from this site, I was able to navigate my daughter onto meds in one absolutely golden and unpredicted minute in a courtroom with a compassionate judge. If I hadn’t had the wonderful help and support from relatives of other sufferers, I would have been frozen in inaction and confusion, unable to bring myself to testify for forced medication. I hated myself for a long, long time while she battled her psychosis (and me) and even that day in the courtroom for trying to force my daughter onto an unsure medical path. BUT IT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE in retrospect, as those actions broke her psychosis.

As parents, we must forgive ourselves at our failures, and celebrate at our successes, and above all, keep trying to help them back to reality as much as possible.

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Schizophrenia ‘voices’ quietened by magnetic stimulation: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319271.php

This wouldn’t require drugs.

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You’re an amazing mom and grandmother! Does your daughter do well on antipsychotic medication or is she unable to take it while pregnant ? As hard as it would be I think I would call child protective services to get the little grandson into a safe place while she is psychotic and if the state intervened you would most likely get temporary custody and they would help your daughter. I am praying for all of you.

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Hi All … I want to Thank each and every one of you for reaching out to me! Your encouraging words and words of advice have meant a lot! :slight_smile:
My daughter had another little boy on 8.08.19. - I’m thrilled to be a Grandma to another little one but scared as hec as well!
She already started going into psychosis? At the hospital but she kept it in check in order to be released! She left her husband a week before this baby was born and is now living on her own :cry:! (Against his and my advice- social sec. disability came in and well … )
I’m hoping she has her psychiatrist appt soon and will get back on her meds minus the aderall! She’s so back and forth with me - Love/Hate and if I question her on her meds -she might withdraw which entails her not letting me see my Grandsons. The 2 year old has lived with me and under my care for all of his life and I can’t risk not being there for him !
I’m so upset with the husband and father of these babies! He knows her state of mind but does Nothing to ensure the safety of his children! When they were together he would volunteer to work out of state all the time which threw the weight of the situation entirely on me! He is such a lackadaisical man! Grrrrr!!!
If worse comes to shove - I will anonymously phone child protective people! :sob::sob: Mannnn …why can’t the Lord just come and take us all away from this nightmare? :cry:
Praying for each and every one of you as we journey on this path of chaos and heartbreak!

Congratulations on the birth of your grandson!! Exciting, yes, but I understand your reservations. I will pray for the safety of both your grandkids. God surely will put a hedge of safety around these two sweet little ones. You have the world on your shoulders, so praying for you as well. We all, regardless of our specific situations, have more stress than anyone else on planet earth. Daily struggles that normal people know nothing about. We get it. So, so grateful for this group, a safe place to vent, discuss, unload. Please keep us updated. Will be thinking of you.

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Congratulations @Hakunnamattata on being a grandma again. I hope things stay manageable. I am sorry that the father of the babies is not helping.

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