My wife has paranoid schizophrenia since the COVID pandemic and practically no insight. Due to this, two of my three children are currently in the custody of Child Services. My lawyer made it very clear to me that I need to show Child Services that I’m distancing myself from my wife. Otherwise, I won’t get my children back. Before I got my lawyer, I didn’t understand that, but now I do, and I think I’ve learned how to do it.
At the same time, I’m concerned about my wife’s wellbeing. Recent experience has shown that when I break off contact to her, she’s more likely to contact her father about suicide intentions. This worries her mother especially. My wife and I currently live separately, by the way. I’m the only person she is willing to share her feelings with, apart from her sister, as I understand.
My wife tends to talk a lot but do little of what she says she’ll do. It seems like that also applies when she mentions suicide, but I’m concerned her life will become more and more difficult, which might motivate her to really do it. Her guardian and a judge from guardianship court checked her up about a month ago and determined that there’s no need to put her in a psychiatric hospital against her will again (she already was for two months last year because of mentioning suicide intention). During the check-up, she was most likely taking a sedative, which she has since stopped taking. My email to the guardian about my wife’s mentions of suicide is being ignored, as well as me pointing out that she was under the influence of a sedative when examined, which falsified the judgement of her condition. He says he’s not the right person to contact, my wife can make her own decisions, and we should get marriage counseling. I’m thinking about contacting guardianship court to ask if they can give us another guardian.
When my wife was admitted to the hospital last year, it was after I called the ambulance. Now, when I call them, no ambulance comes, just the police.
I wrote that my wife has “practically no insight” because there are occasionally times when she says she’ll go to a psychiatrist. But those episodes last only a few minutes, which is not enough time to take her there.
I have the hope that if my wife’s life gets really bad it will be enough motivation for her to go to a psychiatrist, and that she won’t instead commit suicide, but I can’t be sure. My family and I all love her very much. She is a loving mother.
Several years ago, she took Aripriprazole for a while, which worked great. She was like a totally different person. Then she stopped taking it when she got pregnant because she thought it would have a negative effect on the baby. Several months later, in March 2023, her symptoms returned. Unfortunately, when she was in the hospital last year, they gave her Benperidol instead, which is a first-generation medicine and doesn’t relieve negative symptoms aka depression.
I had to get a restraining order against my wife because of the violence she causes. In order to get my children back, I must abide by the terms of the restraining order and keep her out of my life for the time being.
Her life seems to be getting more and more difficult partly due to financial problems. She’s been going on trips that she can’t afford. Soon she’ll be additionally faced with a fine that will be imposed because of her violating the restraining order. When I came a few weeks ago to give her the regular monthly payment for her cost of living, she didn’t accept it. Besides me, she has no source of income and hasn’t been approved for government financial assistance.
Does anyone have any ideas how to help my wife have insight and get psychiatric help? Her sister refused to try to convince her because she says that would weaken the trust between them. I’m not supposed to contact my wife at all. She refuses to speak to her mother, and also doesn’t trust her father.