Hoping for ideas and discussion


#1

Dear everyone…
This is not the most direct post about SZ, but I’m feeling a little low about a situation and I’m looking for answers from all sources. My brother was diagnosed with Undifferentiated Sz at the age of 17. He has always been open about the fact that he has also been through an addiction problem as well. He’s been doing great in managing both his SZ and keeping his temptations at bay. I live with him, I see him everyday and I have seen how hard he’s worked, and what he’s been through.

This is a bit of a diversion; I hope other forum members will please forgive.
Why I’m asking…. I am in college and my English professor LOVES William Burroughs, Irvine Welsh, Hunter S. Thompson,…. basically anyone who portrays the drug culture in a positive light. I’ve been told by this teacher more than once now that I will never be a good writer if I don’t get the stick out of my butt and drop some acid. “Expand you mind, at least have a drink, or at least a joint…… don’t be a goodie two shoe all your life….” I’ve told him my situation, that there is a large swath of addiction and Mental Illness in my family so I didn’t want to “test the buttons” so to speak. He doesn’t believe in mental illness, “There are no such thing as mentally ill people, just people who are put in hospital for seeing the world differently and living differently.” He also argued with me that just because my brother is SZ, doesn’t mean I’ll develop mental illness by smoking a joint. He makes me feel like an idiot about the topic of SZ and drugs. Maybe he’s just joking and I don’t get the joke?

I am feeling a little square and a little too much like a goodie two shoe. My lack of first hand drug use experience never used to bother me before. Our state of Washington just legalized pot. I hold no judgement for anyone who does or doesn’t do drugs. But I am feeling a bit down about this situation. I hate the fact that my brain is asking…. “What’s the harm in just one joint?” Then I think of how much my brother has over come and how hard he has worked to get all the drugs out of his life, and I think, “OH, that’s the harm. Why tempt this fate in the first place.”

What I’m asking for…. There are a lot of articles about marijuana use and SZ. I know that the “genetic predisposition” of SZ isn’t concrete evidence. I never once said I knew much about SZ. My life is just my bother, and I trying to get through our days and make today better then yesterday. I have much more to learn. I know I can’t convince this teacher other wise. Looking for ideas, resources, countering arguments, opinions, and piece of mind.

Thank you for your patience and indulgence.


#2

If that teacher is joking I could understand. But if he’s serious then he’s acting seriously inappropriate, irresponsibly, and has TERRIBLE judgement. He is in a position of authority. He should take his position more seriously or not be in it. Acid is dangerous, I’ve taken it at least 20 times maybe more. It messed me up BAD psychologically and actually triggered my schizophrenia though I’m a 100% sure I would have become schizophrenic without the LSD. Don’t listen to him about drugs. A college level professor DOES NOT recommend ILLEGAL, harmful drugs to young students. PERIOD. I don’t care if he does it to a lot of students or ones he just likes. It doesn’t make it right. And I don’t care if students think he’s ‘cool’ because he is liberal on drug use. He could lose his job for recommending drugs to students.That’s part of his bad judgement. And if his judgement is bad enough to tell a student to do drugs than it really makes wonder if his judgement is bad in other areas of his life. I’ve seen people screw themselves up very badly psychologically from taking LSD, permanently, including me. Pot is not much better. I smoked it daily for a couple years. Don’t worry about someone calling you 'goody-two-shoes.They are trying to manipulate you in to doing drugs because from my experience of smoking pot in the distant past, I know that drug users think drugs are fine and everybody should do them. And they try to get people to do them and they don’t realy care about you or care that they might be wrecking your life and may cause you to lose everything you worked so hard for. This Professor is risking his job by recommending drugs. Doesn’t sound very responsible to me and doesn’t sound like someone I would trust. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with going your whole life without drugs. It’s the smartest you can do for yourself. I have paranoid schizophrenia, I was diagnosed 1980. I started smoking crack in 1986. I smoked it heavily the next three years and lost almost everything because of it. I lost almost all my material possessions including cars, stereos, the clothes off my back. I lost jobs and and housing. That’s where drugs took me. I got clean in 1990 and it was the best thing I ever did. You don’t need drugs to be a writer. It shows how irresponsible this teacher is that he tells someone this. It is ridiculous that a professor would say you will only be a good writer if you take LSD. You sound intelligent, your common sense must tell you he’s wrong. I wouldn’t make a big deal about this to him. Just politely say you do not want to do drugs.


#3

77Nick77,
Hurray… I am so glad you made it to the new forum. I have missed reading your post. Thank you so much for your reply. I can’t really talk to my brother about this because he did hit bottom once due to drugs as well and he now gets very protective and parental about this topic quickly. I understand, and I know it’s uncomfortable for him to discuss that part of his life with me personally.

I do want to assure all that I’m not going to start a drug/alcohol habit just to pass an english class. The professor just got to me again last night when I wasn’t feeling my strongest. Maybe he thinks he’s really funny. I do work a lot, and go to school and live alone with my older brother. My brother is in transition as well, and I love being able to hang out with him. I love the fact that we can help each other out. But being called a “goodie-two-shoe” is a huge sore spot with me. It’s a tiny little thing with a vicious sting.

I like what you said about the teacher maybe having “cool” points because he’s liberal on drug use. He does sort of act more like one of the students then a teacher. His long ocean of words about how all the best writers all did drugs and expanded their mind, and shaped our nation was hard to argue around. Plus, if I ever wanted to “stop being a pale cliché, I should embrace a more bohemian life style and follow the example of the great William Burroughs.”

Then the follow up with… “people with Mental Illness aren’t really mentally ill, they are just different and punished for being so, and that he’s never seen proof that pot has any link to a concept of mental illness that doesn’t exist anyway…”

I wanted to come at him with every article, study, thesis, in the book. Now that I am calming down, your right, I don’t have the time or the energy to keep arguing with this teacher. I should just smile and nod and go be on my way. If I fail the class, just take it again from someone else.
By the way, I went under D.A. Little sister in the last forum. My brother always wanted me to drop the “D.A.” part.


#4

Hi kidsister, thanks for the welcome, I’m glad you dropped the DA. The professor is the one that needs that tattooed on his forehead. I used to be close to my sister, she invited me everywhere. I don’t see her much now, maybe once a week. Not because we had a falling out. I just had some problems and declined so many invitations that she stopped asking me to do things. We’re still on good terms though. It’s good to have family. Anyway I will see you and your brother around the forums.Take care.


#5

Smoking a little bit of weed made me a lot worse, and I never got better.


#6

i smoked weed all through school days and at19 i had a episode of psychosis, i learnt my lesson, never to touch weed, its bad news, i think your teacher probaly smokes it himself, thats why he wants u to smoke it, people who take it want others to take it i found. if i was you id tell him to fuck off thats what id say, tell him drugs are for mugs, excuse the language but your teacher is out of order offering you drugs


#7

I used to be pro-choice. Even after my own addiction I still was. Now I just don’t know. I have never seen anything good come from it for anyone. Psychosis or not, anyone under the influence of drugs and even alcohol do things that they would not to while sober or straight. I agree with Nick’s post. Especially someone in a position of authority like he is should not be stating what he does. He should not be making you feel this way. If I lived in your area I would be tempted to talk to his supervisor about such behavior :smile: Seriously I would. He should not be allowed to act like that.


#8

Thank you all for the support on this one. I’ve never really been very tempted to try drugs until recently. Everyone in my family has an addictive personality. After seeing ALL my brothers fight off addiction and suffer in one form or another and all the other tragic addiction stories in my family, I never wanted to go through that. But after this teacher got a hold of me again, I was really doubting myself on all levels and feeling like a pointless, boring person. Then when he said “don’t be a goodie-two- shoe all your life…” that just got me. The right words at the right time and bingo…

For me personally, I say no, I just can’t see when I’d have the time or the extra money. Plus it would seriously break my brothers heart. When I first moved in with him, he completely flipped out on me when he caught me smoking a cigarette. He scared me so much, I never smoked again. I don’t even want to picture what his imagination could come up with if I started any drugs. But for others to do drugs, I’m not going to disown any friends or family for being on drugs, but I’m not going to make people feel bad if they do or don’t do drugs. Thank you again I’ll try stay away from this teacher as much as possible. His views on mental illness also make me so angry.

Thank you all again. I will still be researching this and getting a more informed opinion and expanding my knowledge. Always open to resources…


#9

Your college proffessor should become a optometric proctologist.
Then maybe he could clearly see his head is up his a55.
Drugs arnt for everybody, and if you have to think, you will leave them be.
One person’s opinion don’t make a book. Um, uness they are the author"


#10

If it were up to me I’d make a written complaint about this teacher. People like that should not be in a position of trust dealing with young, impressionable people. It makes me so angry when I see what pot & speed have done to my son who was a brilliant young man.


#11

I have always wanted the chance to say thank you for your advice about this teacher… It did help a lot for a while. He’s found a new button to push. I’m trying to remain calm and just carry out the assignment to the best of my abilities. Maybe that’s his point. Maybe he want’s to push buttons. Maybe he’s thinking he’s “Shocking” us out of complacency. All he’s really doing to deeply upsetting me.
But thank you so much for you advice.


#12

I agree with glesaglass. Recommending illegal drugs is not OK. This guy is clueless.


#13

Your welcome! Any college teacher I’ve ever had, has not pushed peoples buttons. They have done their job. Some have been friendly but have kept the teacher/student relationship on a proper level and have kept an appropriate buffer zone between them and students and not crossing a line. This means not getting too personal or informal. A teacher can be friendly but they are not there to be ‘buddies’ Your teacher does not sound like he’s keeping that buffer. Hang in there, try for a good grade, finish the class, and you never have to worry about this jerk again. It’s not good that he gets to affect your life as he is but he is just a bit player in your life. A temporary distraction. As you probably well know, or at least you are learning now, is that occasionally you will run into fools in every level of life who abuse their authority. It’s unfortunate but once you get a little power of your own it’s easier to suffer them. Including cops, bosses, landlords, etc. Good luck.


#14

This teacher has definitely NOT been friendly on any level. I don’t want to sound like a whiny teen ager but I keep getting the feeling that he’s trying to provoke me into an argument. It’s been better since I’ve just been ignoring him. But if I don’t get a good grade, it puts my financial aid in danger. Something will happen. I’m trying to figure out what I can do. I have an appointment with the head of the department on Tuesday.
By the way, how is college going for you? What classes are you taking this next quarter/semester?


#15

It sounds like you’re not going to head down that road, but I thought I’d tell you anyway. If you are going to try it do not smoke a whole joint like you see on tv. If you’ve never had it before you should only have a crumb about the size of 1/4 or 1/2 a sesame seed and then wait 20 minutes for it to kick in. It is strong stuff. I haven’t touched it in a year and a half. One time I had too much and my heart made a big thump and almost stopped. That is the night when the voices started and they never went away even when I quit. It is not a good road to go down and I don’t recommend it.


#16

I’m just finishing up an online film class. I am going to register tonight for the upcoming quarter. Well, I’m passing but that’s about it. If I get an ‘A’ in my next couple classes then my GPA will be 3.0. IF.


#17

Kidsister,

You are not boring or cliché. 77Nick77 is right abut this guy. This teacher who is a part time at a small community college has little control in this life, so what small amount he has, he’s abusing.


#18

Caling somebody a “Goodie Two Shoes” is name calling. Name calling is a form of abuse. The goal of abuse it wreck another person’s self-esteem. Don’t let this asshole do damage to you, I advise.

Throughout life, you will have people who will invite you to feel bad about yourself. Don’t accept such invitations, I suggest.

Some other things that are unattractive about smoking pot is that it discolors your teeth and hurts your lungs.

You are a young woman. You will encounter many adults throughout your life who are more interested in their own agendas than what is in your best interest. I advise you learn strategies to manage such folks. For example, a lot of men can be twisted by appealing to their vanities. When I tried to explain this to my niece when she was 17, she said, “You’re so smart!” It showed how well she had a learned the lesson even though disliked getting a lecture!

Good wishes,

Jayster


#19

Welcome jayster. And pot is illegal too. And expensive. And maybe not addictive in the sense of coke and meth. But certainly habit forming.


#20

I’m a little sad that Washington made it legal. There are “Green Pharmacies” almost every three block on the Aurora strip now. If your in Washington state and you see a pharmacy with a Green Cross over it… Now you know.