I have been in a relationship with M since last July. We had previously been together years prior, but he didn’t have any mental health issues prior to us rekindling our relationship these years later.
I knew when we got together that he was on medication for schizophrenia and he was doing fine.
We moved in together in November of 2018 end he told me in December that he had stopped taking his medication in November. Things were going well until the last few weeks, the last few days have been the worst.
He is thinking his ex and her new boyfriend are hacking into his phone, he can hear them talking to him and ridiculing them when his phone is off. He thinks someone is here and is constantly checking the blinds. He is now hearing their voices over the PA system at his factory job.
I was able to get him to take seroquel the past 2 mornings, but i know it will take time to take affect. I am pregnant, and scared of all of this. I love him and I don’t want to leave him, I can’t force him to get help. Everyone else has already washed their hands of him.
I need help. How can I support him so he doesn’t think I’m against him, but not enable these delusions?
I am reading a book that deals with this… called I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help by Xavier Amador… I recommend it highly… it talks about listening, showing empathy, findings areas of agreement and partnering for a solution.
Antipsychotics are powerful meds. There is reason why you are not to stop them unless under medical care. My son decided no meds and it was not pretty. However I am not suggesting you stick it out while he is unmedicated or even support his decision to be unmedicated.
Another post suggested Dr. Amador’s book I am not sick. He also has YouTube videos. They will help you learn to communicate.
MI people live in a world of pain we only get to glimpse. Even if you get compliance and he turns it around now, there is no guarantee this will not happen again. Here is the hardest part of loving someone with mental illness–we like the idea of love will carry us through. Love is not enough to make him better. Nor can you reason with him saying “If you love me, you will get help”. Were that the case, there would be no forum.
Really it is not about how you can help him, but are you willing to stick by him no matter what course this illness takes. No one can tell you that answer–you have to decide for yourself. I am sorry you have to go through this.
My daughter does not know she is ill. She takes meds because they help her to work. She loves to have a job, and has lost every one when unmedicated. She has one now, and is continuing her meds. We talked about this with Dr. Amador’s LEAP method. Please do read that book.
Your relationship may help keep your loved one on meds, I am glad you got him to begin taking Seroquel again. Stopping them will almost always lead to a relapse, unfortunately, and psychotic symptoms are sooooo very hard to tolerate and are mostly unchangeable without meds. I hate to say it, but you are probably in for a very long struggle.
Yes, read Amador’s book. It’s excellent. Do you have a therapist? You will need a lot of support through this. There are also some support groups DBSA, NAMI – if you live in a populated area there should be some … some are good some do not have enough people attending… like all support groups they differ. Good luck…