Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

How do i deal with my sz boyfriends lack of emotions


#1

Ive been dating my sz boyfriend for 4 mo he has no emotions


#2

Is it that he has no emotions or that he doesn’t express them? 2 different things…


#3

Most of the time the emotions are grandiose and all over the place. But he can show me at rare times some emotions. He just shuts down a lot and he tells me he has a hard time dealing with them.


#4

I don’t understand how emotions can be grandiose? Emotions can be really intense. Behaviors and ideas can get grandiose. Is this what you mean?


#5

I can understand that his emotions are all over the place and hard to manage. But that he doesn’t have emotions? Oh, I wish that was true for SZ! Haha.


#6

It’s hard at times he is either very very up or nothing at all.I don’t know what to do he also drinks daily on his meds.most of the time I’m so scared for him I just dont know how to help.


#7

Emotions are difficult for people with sz. It’s not that we don’t have them, or that we don’t care. They just don’t seem to come out right or don’t come in-the-moment. It’s a disorder that effects thought and emotion.

I find I get emotional after the fact when I think about things and situations. I also tend to get afraid of emotions because they come out all wrong and out of preportion which may be why you think his emotions are grandiose.

If you want him to express more emotions you should try to make him feel safe and loved and that it’s okay to express them.


#8

Ty,
I’ve done this he tells me he trusts me and he feels safe with me but as he puts it he’s scared to his core. Plus with his sister trying to get conservatorship over him and the alcohol and no job dont help either. Now its affecting me being worried all the time. He just shuts off everything. His phone is off for days now his family worries their in Canada and he dont respond to their emails or mine.


#9

What I meant was his emotions are very very up, or he just sits with a blank look and non responsive at times for days. When I try to talk to him I end up feeling bad and so does he. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I love him.


#10

My boyfriend has now dumped me by an email. He said per our last conversation I made a perceptive comment that rooted in fact. Now I’m left to deal with all this pain sad part is he needs me he told me all the time he did. He used to tell me hit the lottery when he got me and how did he get so lucky. Funny thing is we never even argued we were so close now he won’t even talk to me. How do I deal with losing my best friend, and the pain.


#11

An individual who has zero emotional responsiveness has to meet certain criteria to fit the mind disorder posted below. Your boyfriend shares emotions with you.

http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Schizoid-personality-disorder.html

Schizoid personality disorder is characterized by a persistent withdrawal from social relationships and lack of emotional responsiveness in most situations. It is sometimes referred to as a “pleasure deficiency” because of the seeming inability of the person affected to experience joyful or pleasurable responses to life situations.

About your relationship, have you seen the film Reign Over Me? This film has to do with PTSD. If your boyfriend accepts you into his life, you may have to become very creative and patient with him.


#12

Ty nykia, for your suggestion and help the problem with him is I think I made him feel to much he told me so, and as he put it he’s not used to feeling emoition and it scared him to his core. I’ve never dated a man with sz and it’s hard but I can’t walk away he’s the kindest, sweetest most loving man I ever knew. He always told me he didn’t deserve me because he couldn’t be the man he thought I deserve and was always afraid of losing me I tried to reassure him so I guess he broke up with me. He told me he never felt for another woman like he does me. And with his sister trying to get conservatorship over him it was all just to much. He’s shut out me and his siblings and we’re all he has.


#13

I never realized just how much mental illness there is in the world until I met my boyfriend I mean I knew it was there I always felt so bad for them but until my bf I had no idea how hard it is on them or the ones that love them. I don’t know how my bf’s family dealt with him all these years. Its the hardest thing I’ve ever done and has made me sad and depressed. I’m worried or terrified for him most of the time to the point of it affecting my job or making me physically ill. I can’t even imagian how hard it is to live in their own minds. Its hard when you are in love with them.


#14

My bf lost his battle in court he is under conservatorship now. When he didn’t show for court that’s when he lost. I also found out he stopped taking his meds and is now missing. His sister tells me he’s not my problem I deserve better and to forget him how do I do that when I love him.

Recently he kept telling me he needed to protect me his sister told me that’s probably why he broke up with me because the voices in his head were telling him to hurt me and he didn’t want to do that. Can anybody help I don’t know what to do now I’m so scared for him.


#15

Thanks guys, I thought my boyfriend was bad. You really should not pretend to care.


#16

Not sure where all the Family/significant other posters are lately. I’m not exactly sure how conservatorship works. Its up to the person appointed to take care of him now. I guess I’d suggest that you wait until he is taking his meds again and then contact the person taking care of him to ask if it would be alright to contact your ex-boyfriend. Hopefully by then he will be in a better state of mind to have a conversation and you can get reacquainted.


#17

I already am in contact with her its his older sister. We are trying to find him he’s been missing for 4 days he tends to run from motel to motel when he gets like this. But its the first time he has shut me out its hard to go from thinking things are really great to being completely shut out by the one person you love more than life and him feeling the same to being dumped out of no where. His sister tells me to forget about him before he destroys my mental health that its not what I signed up for.

How do you runout on your best friend. Ty skims for your kindness its much appreciated.


#18

@sherrih, please do not suggest posters pretend to care if they refrain from posting. There are all kinds of reasons why people post or do not post. Why not just ask?

The amount of care forwarded, shared, expressed and submitted unconditionally at this forum exceeds everyone’s expectations.

You stated you are in love with an individual you’ve known for 4 months. You declare this love similarly to relationships that have been tried and true. This declaration raises red flags for me.

You stated your boyfriend is kind. Kindness in return on your part might just be showing him friendship and not pushing for a serious relationship. That’s my opinion.

Hope this individual finds safety, security and respectful companionship.

Hope you will accept quiet posters, too.


#19

No l never said I knew him 4 months I said we’ve been dating for 4 months, I knew him for several months before I agreed to go out on a date.

We were friends first he told me many times I was his best friend and he mine. As for respect there was always respect. His family thanks me all the time for making a huge difference in his life. We talk daily


#20

And as for your red flag I’m not mentally ill but if I were I would deal with it.