How do i deal with my sz boyfriends lack of emotions


#21

Thank you for the correction.


#22

Well I’ve heard from my bf he’s safe but he did flee and I’m not sure he’s going to come back. At least I know he’s safe, he’s told me not to tell anyone we’ve talked. He says he’ll call tonight but I’m not going to hold my breath. He’s told me he is still on his meds he swore to me I hope so.

Ty to all who have been kind.


#23

A relief knowing he is safe means the world!!!


#24

Yes it is a huge relief. Now I just need to convince him to come home.


#25

Well my bf called me last night he’s ok. But I don’t think he is coming home not as long as there’s a conservatorship over him. I also got an email a few minutes ago he’s so miserable and wants to be home.
My problem is do I keep talking to him when he calls or do I let him go I’m his only connection to his life that he had in ca. I can’t seem to let go nor can he. I could use some feed back here as I love him very much.


#26

Keep talking and tell him to keep taking the meds because that’s the only way to get the conservatorship lifted. If he takes meds for a few weeks, then shows up, takes them for a few more weeks, he can go to court and get it lifted. And hopefully, in that time he will actually experience the full benefits of taking his meds.


#27

Ty Harry,
But its not that easy, god I wish it were. If he comes back he’s gone his sister wants to put him in a institution I’d rather have him gone than that happen to him. Its all about his money and he has lots.
So is it my time to get out before I go crazy I can’t stand all the pain even if I do love him. Its going to cost me my job and my health as I’m getting very depressed myself.


#28

If you really love him like you say you do, this is your time to get out of the relationship. Now.


#29

I am going throught the same dilema…have been with my loved one for 5 years…it is taking a lot of Patience, Determination and unconditioned love…at times I am expecting a affectionate response…such comes totally unexpected and feels so much more intense when received…do not desperate…when response of loving matter comes I feel so much more rewarded…guess the clue is not to expect…just let it happen…it will because deep down your loved ones does care and loves you otherwise he would not be with you…
it took me a long time to accept that part of his sickness…but pays off ´when i detect watery loving eyes at times of addressing that matter…then i feel shame, guilt and promise self to be patient etc…as with us the foundation of love is unconditional.
Perhaps this might help you…give it a try …I am sure you will succeed.
good luck
lana from austria


#30

forgot to mention…it is of utmost importance to be on meds and refrain totally from alcohol…thankk God we deal not with same problems…Your boyfriend`s mind will be more clear if he follows rules…Am sure he is aware of the disastrous effect such combination might call for…unless he follows and fully understands I am afraid there is not kmuch for you to do other then re-assure and emphasize on importance of your love from him…but only for you to continue relationship if there are changes…

I wish you all the best and please feel free to contact me…I live in a small village in austria with no access to support groups or family support… and all I have leardned about his sickness is Information read on this site and dealing with his psychiatrist. Any Information I can share I love to do… as it might help others and myself.

Do not despair…we are in this together and a crowd provides strength…

chin up and the sun will shine again in your heart…to be utmost positive I find a tool to not dispair and go on and last but not least enjoy our love for each other…at times it is very difficult…but again working on self will help to achieve positive results…
looking Forward to hear from you soon…

f


#31

Ty Lana,
It just keeps getting worse he has accused me of telling his sister where he is, because he said his car was tampered with. I tryed to assure him it was not me as I don’t even know what hotel he’s in.

And we are in two different countries and I don’t have a passport.
When we last spoke was Tuesday at 12:30am. He has not called since no email his phone is off.

I love him but maybe its time to get out this is effecting me very badly.


#32

A “flat affect” is one of the symptoms of sz. I have it too. Quite often when I talk to people I go rigid and start talking in a monotone, and they start to yawn. If you want to relate to your boyfriend emotionally it might take some work. He probably has very strong emotions, he just doesn’t express them. If you’re not up to it try to leave him on good terms.


#33

I believe that is one of the negative symptoms of schizophrenias. It would be nice for him to get self support like being on this forum. Education on schizophrenia would be helpful for caregivers and love ones


#34

I have flown when people get too close for comfort. I’ve even had normal bf flee when I get too close. Sometimes you need space and that’s why people flee. Normal or not.


#35

Ty to all,

But when do I save myself I’m drowning in pain and fear I’m so scared all the time and can’t stop crying.


#36

I’d say give hime time. Don’t chase him. I ran away from husband and kids. Stayed away for about a year. I got medicin and treatment during that year. Then I got home.


#37

Ty comatose,
But he won’t get help I’ve tryed but he doesn’t think he needs it.
I’m tired of living in terror and that’s how I live all day every day.
His family has told me to let him go for my own sanity. They have thanked me for being in life and making a difference but say I need to go, but how do I do that when I love him so much. I’m so tired of crying all the time I used to be a social butterfly now people ask me why I never smile anymore.


#38

Don’t harm yourself. You need to take care of you. Nothing gets better when you sit home and cry over him. Take care of yourself. He will return in time. You can’t force him.


#39

I won’t harm myself. But he isn’t coming back being under conservatorship and his sis wanting to put him an a mental hospital so she can get his money. He keeps running from country to country, he made a lot of money before he became ill and has enough to last about another year.
I can’t keep waiting for a phone call saying he’s dead.

I can now see I will never have a life with him, no mater how much I want it or him.


#40

This is a shitty illness. Brain don’t work. Paranoia making you believe stuff that ain’t true. Fear. Terror. Never trusting your senses because what you hear or feel might not be true.

Worse case scenario, you become his caregiver. He might or might not get better. You are so young. You have life.