I wrote my story with my brother who has sz about a year ago on here and got some very valuable feedback from some people. I have been learning about the illness and what I was doing wrong.
Since then, nothing much changed. My brother still refuses treatment and because we live in different cities, quite far away, I don’t interact with him much.(He says bizarre things sometimes and accuses me so I try to keep the interaction at the minimum and let my spouse do the connection whenever needed since my brother feels closer to him )
Anyway, as I told before he has no income, no job so I’ve been supporting him financially as much as I can. He lives in an apartment my late dad owned so he is not out in the streets and I try to make sure that he has enough food etc.But life changes all the time and lately my spouse is going through some personal issues so can’t focus on his job as he used to which affects our financial life.I am still supporting my bro but I may not in future.By the way, we have an inheritance lawsuit going on between us and my dad’s wife. I try to protect my bro’s rights also since he is not interested in anything. I explain what is going on to him from time to time but not sure if he understands.
Our lawyer says, it might take quite a while for us to get the inheritance from my dad which is not a lot but enough to buy a small apartment for my bro so he could have a home.
Anyway,since I may not support him in the future, I consulted our lawyer and asked if there was anything that could be done. (I live in a European country)The lawyer said if my bro is under guardianship, he could get some of my late father’s
retirement pension and have a small income at least and if we buy a small apartment for him with his share of inheritance, he will at least be a little safe.But in order to do this, someone must be his guardian and that is me naturally.
It made me feel really bad at first because the idea of taking the responsibility of someone’s life overwhelms me.I am not an irresponsible person, on the contrary I am quite the opposite but dealing with insanity is so tiring.Later on, I decided I had to do this and gave permission to my lawyer to take action. And she started the procedures a few months ago. According to our laws, my bro has to have a full medical inspection thoroughly in order to be under guardianship. I knew he would reject this but I tried to explain him the whole situation, that I might not help him anymore and showed him the benefits of having a steady income, he seemed like he liked the idea.
So we went to the city he lives to help him go through the hospital procedures.Everything was ok first but then the idea of guardianship seemed impossible to him. He said, he could not give up his freedom and that he wanted to go trips abroad when he got his share of inheritance etc.etc.I think the people who read this will understand what I mean…they live in a dream, have no reality concept. Anyhow he stopped the procedures in the middle and said that is his life and these are things about him.My husband and I did whatever we could,said whatever
can be said but as you might guess,nothing helped.We waited there a few more days then left with empty hands when he didn’t answer his phone.We thought going to his home but knew he wouldn’t open the door.
The thing is, when we came home and talked to the lawyer, we learned that we could not stop the whole thing at this point and it is a public case now and if he won’t complete the medical inspection, he will be forced to do so by the help of police. I don’t know what to do. I would really hate to see him in that situation. I don’t want to give him any traumatic experiences.Our lawyer will try to talk to him and persuade him to complete the procedure but I don’t think she will be successful.And I really don’t know what to do or how to act. Just trying to get over the emotional storm the experience gave me when I went through the whole thing.Seeing him in his living conditions, imagining his life is another point that makes me cry whenever I remember.
How do you help someone who doesn’t know where his own good lies ?