Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

How do you retain self care in ongoing crisis?


#1

Im so afraid to feel anything
I care so much about her this time it is as though someone has died

Im only her sister
Not parent or child
Im schizophrenic myself but my sister is in crisis and i want to help her
I would do everything but i cant


#2

I am so sorry, Three, that you are going through the heartbreak for the sister you love so much. This illness is so hard on everyone in the family. Do try to take care of yourself too.


#3

I don’t know anything other than what you wrote here, so I’ll be extremely broad.
You already know all of this, but sometimes it helps to read;

If you can’t help the people you care about,
focus on improving your own lifestyle.

Living a safe, comfortable, healthy and productive life will eventually put you in a position where you can have the means and the ability to help those close to you.

Many of us caregivers struggle with our own challenges while also helping family in need. But you can’t do it alone, and you can’t do it when you’re own life is in turmoil.

It’s okay to shift your efforts toward your own goals when you need to. I’ve often found family in need is more willing to accept my help after they are sure they won’t be a burden, emotionally or financially.
Those are goals I set for myself every day:
Build up my emotional resillience.
Put aside some money.
Offer family a sympathetic ear, with the readiness and ability to take action when asked. And, expect my offers for help to be taken or rejected as they will.


#4

Thank you so much for your responses


#5

I agree, take care of yourself. I had to take a break for myself and feeling better. Every day though I still hurt inside so a break doesn’t put your life back to normal. Wreklus, said it perfectly. Know you are important too.

I’ve been judge by many others who have know idea. I try to ignore, it still hurts. I borrow what Jesus said, forgive them God they do not know.

This site has given me peace and support . Thanks all of you.


#6

thank you for your words.

It means a lot xx


#7

Have you heard of NAMI? Their support groups help me. Hospitalization helps my loved one when needed, if it is out of control and I am unable to help. She is doing well right now, almost 30 days since last hospitalization. I feel so helpless sometimes still. I’m glad you posted. Everyone here cares.


#8

Thank you
i feel i give so little

30 days is good, I hope she continues to be well

I’m in the UK
i have found the right website, she is being taken to court again


#9

I know the feeling, like little I do matters. But, in the end, the little things are often the best we can do. So, I keep doing what I can.

Be kind to yourself.

I am in Forida, USA.

I hope court goes well for your sister.


#10

Hi, @Stone , I am so glad you gave yourself some type of a break. From an earlier post, I could see that you were at a hard place with care-giving. Me too, I was so close to burning out from trying so hard, three years with an unmedicated 34 year old, and so tired, as what senior citizen ever thinks they will be care-giving to an adult child with sz? Especially, if it looks as if it is going to go on until my own death, it is so hard to face. For myself, I got paid time off to use up before the end of the year, and the police arrested my daughter for something sort of minor (public disturbance and kicking a police officer) that has resulted in forced medication and true improvement for her (and so me). I hope you can give yourself more breaks and some happiness this year.