I have never been depressed but when he feels moody I feel moody too. How come is no solution for that.
I feel dissociated from everyone around me. If I feel anything other than that itās because Iām manic.
I feel disconnected. I feel my life is meaningless. I feel love is sparse. I feel difficult to pass my life.
Are you a parent of a schizophrenic son? I am. Heās 27 and I do like you, when I visit him (he lives with his father) I try to engage him in conversation, talk about things that I know will make him laugh, and we both enjoy listening to music, especially '70s classic rock. When I ask him if heās happy, he always says āyeah.ā He surely must be lonely! He stays home all the time, doesnāt even attend family functions. So Iām wondering the same thing: How does he feel?? Because I know he tells me what I want to hear. And he is medicated, and it helps him.
I suffer. I have discomfort and my head constantly hurts. I have negative, intrusive thoughts.
I feel a bit lonely in the boyfriend department, but also I donāt have my close friends around. I read somewhere that people who fangirl a lot do so because they are lonely. Iām okay with my fangirl status, but Iād like to have a confidante. Iām friends with my coworkers at least.
I am having a problem with my side effects. The Risperdal is causing TMJ. I think I might have arthritis. Iām getting better at waking up at a decent hour. I had an almost glitch last night. Really, I feel okay most of the time.
I do dread watching the twins, because my sister can be evil and sheās only 9 years old. I see a lot of Narcissism and some Bipolar/Borderline in her. I imagine future Thanksgivings being a me or her event if she doesnāt change her attitude.
One thing I donāt understand, is it always like this.
At first I thought itās like being moody sometimes and it wasnāt important to me. How to be a friend, have normal relationship, how to act, pretend itās all okay and ignore all negative things, wait and be nice all the time.
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almost the same thing here except the hallucinationsā¦ i am starting zyprexa again so i should wait that it builds in my systemā¦ emotional flatness is painfull for me, i am soo bored sometimes stillā¦
I am definitely distanced & disconnected from my family, though. Ever since my sister ended her life, our family has sort of āindividualizedā. We dispersed in odd ways.
Since the seasons have changed, I am basically inside all day. I donāt do anything but listen to music and occasionally browse some things on the web. Iām hibernating now, thatās for sure.
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What music do you listen to?
I feel alone, worthless, then I get frustrated because Iāve been on medication for the better part of my life, and am still affected by it. Then I also get irritated because I get tired of the noise in my head, and combine that when my parents come home and add external noise I get highly irritated sometimes.
I feel sad. Each day is a battle. And frustration. I canāt even type what I really feel. My thoughts donāt flow fluently.
Hungryā¦
Ok well I have been on Abilify for 10 years at the highest dose. At first I freaked out when I was put on it because my emotions were rollercoaster waves that settled down into a consistence of apathetic dissonance and dysphoria at life and my situation. I sometimes feel high on it, because it boosts and lifts my mood but at the same time I am incapable of expressing alternative feelings and I cannot defend myself on it. It weakens my defenses so that I couldnāt say no and is why I was taken advantage of by many people. On one hand, Abilify would make me stuck and depressedābut unable to even feel depression or sorrow. It blocked me completely and so all I would do is have to consistently keep happy or I might fall into depression but that is how all anti psychotics make me feel only Abilify to a lesser degree than Seroquel etc.
Then I started smoking weed while I was battling this depression and numbness, and after that hard time I learned coping and got better. I think neuroleptics are unnatural.
I have not taken Abilify since my horrible psychiatrist appointment. Lately I have felt more emotions but they arenāt really bad, just unfiltered. I like the filter medicine gives me but I can get tired of it and feel its unnecessary if I am managing well and not symptomatic. I think it is better for me not to take it anymore. I have taken pills for so long and they just donāt help me enough. I hate being sick, but I donāt even know the definition of sick.
I feel delirious, almost always
OSTās from video games I used to play. Occasionally some 80ās New Wave stuff.
What is the solution, besides medication?
Iāve heard of cognitive behavioral therapy, but havenāt tried it myself. As for what else works besides medication, I donāt know, I havenāt found anything that works better for me than medication. Even then with the meds I still have some symptoms. Schizophrenia is a life-long disease, with no known cureā¦
Though I have to believe there is healthy ways to combat the disorderā¦one would be eliminate as much stress from patients life as much as possible. I know with me stress triggers my symptoms and every time Iāve had a breaking point I hit an all time high with stressā¦first it was moving to another city, then changing from middle school to high school, then the last relapse I had was because escalating & unstable stress factors at my previous work place.
Then my symptoms started to peak again when my grandfather went into a nursing home after having a stroke, and things were building up for a while because my dad was in poor health and had to have surgery. When things started quieting down again my symptoms got less strong and less frequent.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety and major depression, and that is pretty much all I feel to different varying degrees. Then there is the hopelessness and despair. I sometimes feel hope that I will be able to get a job and provide for myself, but iām afraid that I wonāt be able to. Iām always worrying about something. I also feel a lot of apathy when I finally do get myself to do something.
It usually depends on how my day is going, but most of the time, Iām either neutral or disconnected.