Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

It feels like Hate

Sometimes it feels like he hates me :’( I don’t know how to feel , I know I love him , so blooming much.

*I know it feels that way, but it`s his illness for the most part. Hang in there.

I TOTALLY flipped out ALL the time on C (my fiancee) when we were first together. I was on meds, but I had weird negitive symptoms. I couldn’t feel love.
One day I thought I was deeply in love with him. The next I had no feelings for him and didn’t want to stay together because I felt like it was a lie.
It was really hard on him.
I finally got to a better doctor and got on completely different meds and I came around. It was wonderful. I have never felt so strongly and deeply for anyone else and I doubt I ever will again.
I have started to cherish my parents instead of pitying them for having to deal with me.
I have started to learn to truly love myself even.
Hang in there, I don’t know what will happen, but you might end up with true love and devotion.

As a parent I think sometimes it is easier because we do have a part of us that is willing to take on more or accept more because of the love we have for our children. I know I have a lot less patience for my husband and some of his quirks. At the same time I do understanding loving someone, a partner, so much that it hurts. I know it’s hard however learning what you can about mental illness so that you can better equip yourself to handle the negatives can help a lot. Recognizing behaviors that are not who he is but part of his symptoms do make them easier to cope with. Hang in there and vent as needed here. We are here to help if we can. :purple_heart:

I’m so sorry. I totally understand. I try to tell myself it’s the illness, but that doesn’t help me fill the deep, dark ache inside of me. It does help me not to be angry with him, though.

I wish I knew how to help you, but I don’t. Please know you are not alone.

Wait are you the person with schizophrenia or is it your partner? And no he doesnt hate you, I have been there and I was distrustful but not hateful to the girl I was dating during my onset. Ive actually met her again and it went really well. She has a boyfriend but said the relationship is sort of open so I asked permission before kissing her. I was afraid of physical contact when I was dating her but was very gentlemanly and we opened up to each other back in the day so it felt good to kiss her.

But anyways I always talk about myself. If he has paranoid scz he doesnt hate you, in fact he probably trusts you MORE than anyone else. I would know, I have a nasty case but meds have me treated well these days.

Hey,I have this symptoms too,hated everyone,because I bring a bad mood 24/7,everday,it’s really hard to feel this way,I really understand

can i ask what meds you are on?

Geodon, Prestiq, and Lamictal when I started feeling better. Now I’m on saphris, pristiq, lamictal, fish oil suppliments, and that l-methelfolate stuff.