I try to remember that in many ways I am fortunate. While my son suffers from severe scz, is usually unmedicated, and most likely has a poor prognosis due to the insidious nature of his version of scz, he did get to experience some of life. Those experiences and skills at times add to the challenge of helping him, at other times they do have benefits.
We can, and frequently do, leave our home for weekends away and vacations. Personally, I had to get over the fear that something bad would happen if we weren’t here. I inform our neighbors and the few support friends we have when we are gone. Bad things could happen, but it is far too important that we have as much of a life for ourselves as we can manage.
I work the Amador LEAP program with no support from my husband. He can’t think outside of himself long enough to be helpful at all. After several years of working LEAP, and a really bad 6 week long psychotic episode in June, my son possibly started taking meds again. I would like to be able to say he is definitely taking meds but there is no way for me to confirm that outside of watching what little of his behavior I do see. He lives in an apartment over our unattached garage, I get glimpses.
Some of my son’s behaviors recently indicate he may actually be taking his meds. One behavior, the screaming of accusations that we are sexually abusing him are fewer, sound more robotic and much less emotional.
I’ve been studying the reality testing responses to use in a much more subtle method than a therapist would when I do have the chance. Its as nice break from constantly using LEAP which is too limiting for use with my son, he has maintained his cognition, his scz is paranoid based.
Here’s the scene. Last night I am outside, he emerges from his place doing the robotic accusation thing - it is not scary, I was listening and evaluating. He spotted me so I tried some calm talk to see if I could change the subject. He had just gone to actually stay at his brother’s home over the weekend, something that has not happened in many years. (Another possible sign he is taking meds)
My husband hears me talking and hears my son responding (same robotic accusation stuff) and basically “jumps on the crazy train” and tries to come outside to confront my son. I immediately go to block him from coming outside. Of course he is now fully on the train and spun up so he spends the next hour staring at the video cameras, sure, I guess, that our son is about to storm the house.
So stupidly ridiculous. Then he objects that he doesn’t get to take part in the decision making processes regarding our son.