Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Husband's illness. refusal of treatment

Hi everyone, i’m new, looking for support and advice. Husband diagnosed with schizophrenia. he does not consider himself sick and categorically does not want to be treated.
He is 40 years old, I’m 30 we have a small child, we live alone in the big city, there are no relatives and friends nearby who could help. His relatives do not think that there is a problem, I do not expect help from them, I have suspicions that they knew about his illness earlier and hid it from me.
I myself cannot convince my husband to be treated for half a year, I put an ultimatum, either get medical treatment or I’ll leave. He said go away, we began to live separately, but he constantly asks to return. I see that he is getting worse, I am afraid to leave him alone with the child, he left work, he suspects hіs sister me and even our little child. He constantly says that he is being followed. I am afraid to return to him and I have a deep sense of guilt and pity that I cannot help him I don’t know what to do.

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Welcome Linda,

Most people usually recommend I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help

Meds might not solve all the rehabilitation problems involved with the treatment of schizophrenia, but are essential from what I’ve seen. It makes sense because schizophrenia is a neurobiological disease.

You probably did the right thing to move away because a brain disease is much bigger than anything you can cope with. And I would not leave him alone with your child. If he is hearing voices and is delusional I don’t think that would be safe.

If you don’t feel safe you could get a restraining order.

Maybe Amador’s book will help.

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This video is a good introduction to the methods described in Dr. Amador’s book.

Considering schizophrenia usually presents recognizable symptoms by sufferers’ mid twenties, there’s several likely scenarios: your husband had an episode or two but was able to conceal it; his family knew about his illness but discounted, dismissed or concealed his diagnosis, or he may have an illness adjacent or similar to schizophrenia.

Was your child fathered by him? If not keeping them separated should be straightforward.

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Others have given good advice. You could consider getting therapy for yourself to help you deal with this. You should not feel guilty for acting to protect your child, your responsibility to them overrides all else. You can still try to help him, if he allows it, and if you can do that without placing you or your child at risk.

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I think the laws in the USA need to change and allow us to commit schizophrenic loved ones without waiting until they are a threat.

That might be considered anti-freedom in some cases but in the case of sz/sza it’s just a necessity IMHO.

We have been trying to get my brother to go in for a year now and he refuses just insists he’s psychic.

I can tell you one thing though, medicine works wonders for a large portion of schizophrenics. I was just as delusional as my brother just 5 years ago, but Zyprexa has been a godsend for me. I don’t know what you could do, sorry for not being able to help. I wish you guys the best though.

I mean you gave him an ultimatum. That’s usually what I advise… but is he even well enough to understand what that means? It would be great if you had the support of his family. I definitely wouldn’t leave him alone with the baby.

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Welcome to the forum, I am sorry for the reason you are here. I believe there is great likelihood that his family knew of his mental issues earlier and didn’t say anything to you as most likely he had years earlier “turn-on” of his symptoms. In the beginning of my daughter’s psychosis, I didn’t er friends and it caused great trouble when she visited those friends of hers. She has since lost contact with all of her pre-disease friends, as her odd behavior scared them off.

Since you have already decided to leave him if he didn’t see a psychiatrist to get on medicine, and since you already moved out, and he still won’t agree, I believe that he is not going to medicate unless somehow forced to. My daughter refused to medicate herself (and stay on the medicine once released from the force hospitalizations) for 3 years. She has now stayed on the medicine for 3 years (changing her life and mine for the better totally) but had to be court ordered to stay on the meds in the beginning. Now she willingly takes her shot monthly and continues to live with me, but still hears occasional voices because she thinks out-of-body people can communicate with her. It was hundreds of times worse when unmedicated. I had to get over guilt at forcing her onto meds, my urges to hide her illness from her friends, and to stop taking advice from certain people in order to get her committed and onto meds. I understand your feelings of guilt and pity, that is quite normal, but you seem to understand that he should NOT be around your child while unmedicated and many on here can attest to how awful a childhood is made by a parent who is severely mentally ill.

You cannot allow yourself to feel incompetent at his condition, many psychiatrists are unable to help clients who DO come in for treatment, this is a very severe mental illness that is a lifelong struggle to manage.

I think almost that you have no choice but to continue to be separate from him. The transition time will be the worst, but looking back 5 years from now at a calm life and a safe environment for your child will be your reward.

If you can find a NAMI support group or a family to family class near you, I suggest you get involved. And keep coming on this site for moral support and ideas to fit your situation. No two families have the exact same situation nor solutions, but ideas help.

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Thanks to everyone, who responded and wrote words of support, which is very important for me.
It’s hard to tell friends. Аpparently due to the lack of criticism of his condition, he does not accept my ultimatum. A child from him and he constantly asks about dad and it breaks my heart. We lived together for 6 years and this episode happened to him for the first time. Two months before his psychosis, I learned that his mother was treating a mental disorder (which they hide from me). She lives in another country. And I am now very much afraid of heredity. There were red flags but I didn’t notice. He said that in childhood he had a concussion and he lay without medical assistance for 7 days at home. Then at 20 he did not want to live. He had many friends, but he stopped communicating with them. When we started living together, he thought that agents had sent me to help him fire him from his job. Or he leaved me pregnant in the middle of the street and disappear as it seemed to him that my stepfather was a spy. I unfortunately thought it was character. He gradually became withdrawn, often froze and looked at one point. When i spoke to him, he asked the question again. He often breaks off his phrases and after a pause, he continues the conversation. He spent a lot of money and gave out his great things to others. And all the time I thought that this is the character… sorry for the many words

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