My husband was recently diagnosed with this horrible disease. We have been married. 10 yrs and have 6 amazing children . The day my husband started telling me stories of people wanted to get him ,being followed ect i was concerned but then it turned into me hiding things or him saying he seen me with another man or heard voices i/ the background when he called me i was upset im new to this and don’t know how to react without him feeling like im against him. I guess im just looking for a way to feel like i have people in the same position as me to provide me with some insight.
Schizophrenia and mental illness in general can be very exasperating to deal with. To the schizophrenic person it seems like he is reasonable, and everyone else is behaving badly. It is extremely difficult to talk to an sz. Most of the time he will not yield to reason. Try to get your husband on medication. You might have to put him in the hospital to do this. Try to get him to make small admissions about his mental state. In lucid moments you might get him to agree to get help and take med’s. Med’s are crucial. In lucid moments remind him of his children and how his behavior affects them.
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Thank you for your response, Getting him to agree may be hard because he does feel so strongly about what he calls (his truth) it can get very verbally abusive . How do you get someone to go to the hospital to seek help without forcing the issue?
Hi Meg,
I am sorry about your family’s pain right now. First of all, if your husband is a danger to himself or others it is the responsible thing to do to have him committed. If he is not a danger to himself or others I would start with talking about the issues that he is open about and aware of. Does he complain about depression, or anxiety, or trouble sleeping, or panic attacks, any symptom other than delusions and hallucinations (which are not delusions or hallucinations to him-to him they are real) that you can use to get him to a pdoc, use it! Also, if he does have those lucid moments-jump on them, get a commitment to go to the doctor then and make the appointment immediately before he can change his mind.
I say stand your ground when it comes to accuisations against your fidelity. Get angry if needed, but cut that type of abuse short. It might snap him out of doing it again.
It isn’t good for you, nor is it good for him if he wants to keep you as a partner.
This Doctor can answer all of your questions in a way you can understand. It’s like 10-15bucks on amazon. Follow through w/professional help and find a support group…maybe this forum even. It helped me.
Hi Meg,
It is very difficult for us to understand what you are experiencing. Just like it is difficult for somebody who has never had our experiences understand what we are going through. Most people in your situation cannot help but feel frustrated, angry and confused. I’m guessing that you aren’t necessarily seeking support from us, but reaching for a way to understand, and I can try to describe to the best of my ability how it felt for me, but just like a personality, our “symptoms” may be similar, but our perceptions of the experiences will differ greatly.
He obviously doesn’t look at himself as having schizophrenia, but there is a possibility that he realizes that something is “different” It may be helpful to use the word experiences opposed to symptoms when you talk to him. I was diagnosed in 2007, and although I accept the Label, I have difficulty accepting that it is a disease or a condition and here’s why… A disease or an illness is almost always caused by a bug, a virus, an organ dysfunction, etc… If he was experiencing the same exact symptoms, but they identified that the cause was a bacterial infection, that bacteria is the disease, but if our brain is the problem, it’s by no means meant to be implied that we are the disease, but sometimes it’s difficult not to perceive it that way. I am by no means telling you to walk on eggshells with him or accept behavior that is abusive, nor can I completely understand his perspective. All I can do is try share how it affected me. I hope I was able to word this in a way that makes sense.
Sometimes the only alternative is a forcible commitment. To get that you have to prove that “he is a danger to himself or others”. He can be administratively committed, but he also has the right to ask for a jury in a sanity hearing. How a jury interprets “he is a danger to himself or others” can vary. He probably won’t be informed that he has a right to a jury hearing. I’ve gotten a jury hearing in a commitment case and I was committed even though I don’t think I fit the criteria of being a danger to myself or others. The jury saw it differently. I wouldn’t go the forcible commitment route unless there is no other way.
Thank you all for your insight and info given.i hope in time i can understand more clearly.
Hi meg. Some of these links may help:
http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.
http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube.com and you should find some long videos
Treatment Advocacy Center - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.
Bayes for Schizophrenics: Reasoning in Delusional Disorders - LessWrong - helped my understand delusions
http://www.nami.org/ - National Alliance on Mental Illness.
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/ - Schizophrenia Society of Canada
Can also find some very useful information here:
Early Psychosis Treatment center information in these two links
http://www.raiseetp.org/sites/
http://psychosisprevention.org/get-involved/education-center/finding-treatment/
Psychiatric Treatment Centers affiliated with Medical Schools in the USA
This link may help you find a psychiatrist in your area