Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I can't hang on any more

My daughter just got out of jail, which didn’t do her any good, they didn’t even have her on the meds the doctor faxed to them. Now she us on probation and will go to jail if we have to call the police again. I just got into a physical confrontation with her, I felt I had no other choice but to hit her back so she would stop hitting me. I didn’t want to hurt her so I stopped fighting back. I told her to leave my home because I can’t do it anymore. What I have to endure with her is too much for me to handle. She had just started on a new medication and was seeing her psychologist, but I can’t handle the flare UPS of her anger and I don’t know what else ivcan do for her.

Ah that sucks

I’m sorry.

Give her time. You’ve got too. She seems like a wonderful person aside from the illness.

You’re doing the right thing. Especially at your age which the young never seem to consider. It’s not your fault. Sometimes it isn’t possible.

You might want to contact your local NAMI organization. They have good advice on these type of issues. When I was first diagnosed I wasn’t the most cooperative individual either. But some how my mom stuck with me. Hopefully she won’t end up back in jail. There are too many mentally ill people in jail not getting help already. Give her all the love you can. But I think I understand how distressing your dilemma is. Does she have anywhere she can live besides with you. Where’s dad?

Her dad kicked her out 3 times and now she has hurt everyone that has fought so hard for her. This is the first time I said for her to leave I don’t want her to leave because I know she is trying, but I can’t live in a house with someone who might hurt me. I have tried calling number after number and I never get anyone who tells me anything that will help. I always get the same answer"she had to ask for help" I am broken hearted and I just want to die because it hurts so much, I love her so much and I dont know what to do to help her. She doesn’t even seem to feel live.

Is there a Crisis Team you can call for help? The State of Georgia where I live has recently implemented Crisis Teams and they were a huge help in having my son committed the last time.

You could also call your sheriff department and explain the situation, that your daughter is unmedicated and a real danger to you. They might be able to suggest something or assist in getting her to a hospital.

NAMI has not been much help to our family when we were in crisis mode. But who knows, the NAMI in your area may be of more help.

And you’re right, you definitely don’t want to call the police to her. Every time we’ve done that with our son, it’s made the situation worse. They just take him to jail.

I really hope you’ll be able to get help for daughter. Hang in there.

I’m sorry but if she’s dangerous, maybe she could live in a facility instead? If she’s hurting you, you have to be cautious… Can you call a social worker? why was she in jail?

There’s a new bill in the house right now that addresses the issues you’re dealing with right now. You might want to check it out. It’s HR 2646 and basically it would allow parents or love ones to force a loved one who is having mental health issues to get help. I know this wouldn’t help you immediately but I think this is a good bill. Another bit of info I wanted to share is that I was forced into getting help about 34 years ago. I don’t know what the law is now but maybe you could see a person who has the authority to get your daughter the help she needs. You aren’t alone though. This is a fairly common problem of parents wanting to get their loved ones help and they don’t know they need it or they are just not cooperating. Congressman Murphy from Pennsylvania is the one putting forth this bill. In California there are clinics that are financed by the government and maybe you could check that out too, Good luck Mom!

I called the crisis team here, they told me that if she is aggressive they wont come to take her to a hospital. They told me I can take her to the walk in clinic but she would have to decide to go.

Words to say: I want to tell her that she needs to find help because I can’t do it anymore, but I’m afraid to start another confrontation with her. Besides that, I wouldn’t know where to tell her to go.they won’t take her to the hospital unless she is considered suicidal. I am feeling very helpless right now. She came back to my home last night after me telling her to leave, I text her and told her I really don’t want her to leave but I was just angry. I don’t want her to leave because she I finally seeing her psychologist and psychiatrist and is taking her meds. She just has so much anger built up. I don’t know what to do

When my son lived with my ex for a while, his dad actually got a room at a hotel for himself and stayed there. He would go by the house with food for our son.

Some people have put their adult children up in motels to put some space between them for a while.

Not sure if probation restrictions include calling the police for a wellness check. If you are seriously fearful and feeling endangered, that still might be the option. Always request CIT officers, who have received special training for managing situations involving people with mental illness. They could take her to the hospital instead of jail.

Also, even tho the doctors and therapists are restricted from telling you things if your daughter hasn’t signed disclosure agreements, you are not restricted from contacting them and giving them any information they might need to provide the best care possible. Any good care provider will welcome information from family.

Finally, if your daughter is beginning to comply with treatment, always make sure she knows that she can go get help on her own without being forced. If it won’t set her off, offer to take her to the hospital for assessment or to help her get in to see her pdoc or therapist.

Hope things work out for you.
Putting people with mental illness in jail really is wrong - if I was epileptic and had a seizure in the street would I be jailed - NO - I’d be taken to a hospital and shown concern and respect - people’s attitude to mental illness is like bloody medieval times - something has to give - more HOSPITAL PLACES.
Sorry for the rant - and I really do hope it all works out for you and your daughter.

This is really stressful to say the least.
I dont think its safe for her to stay with you right now.
Yes, you could put her up in a motel, or take her to the homeless shelter.
This is a tough one because she is a danger to others-the hospital should admit her. Its like they are saying she doesnt have a mental illness.
My son was in jail one time and I was able to get the people at social services to administer his medication. They usually have a doctor there, but someone from services came and gave the injection.
i dont know what to say, but she should NOT hit you or anyone else. Do they have a mental health court where you are? I had to call everyone in my state to get the help I needed for my son..really throwing tantums---threatning to sue if anything happened to my son while he was in jail. They kept him separate from everyone else, or sometimes at the detention center. There ae police and doctors records on your girl-so they cant treat her like anyone on the street. Im so sorry this happened to you. My son hit me one time and I called the police. He went to jail-got a restraining order on him. When I went to court-I did not press charges, but I also let the court know of my son`s condition, and they had all his records. So-he was let out and was odered to mental health court. He was homeless for a short period, bu was assigned an excellent case worker who helped him with everyrhing.
if he missed court or a med appmnt-he was picked up and taken to the detention center. They also drug tested him on occassion.
Hope this helps…

Is she on SSI/SSDI? If she is you can get her into a group home. There were a couple of times when I was let out of the hospital, and they took me to an assisted living center for the mentally ill. Maybe the next time she goes to the hospital you could ask her to take your daughter to something like that. Inquire what kind of group living situations there are in your area. That might give you a brief respite. I’m addressing you from an assisted living center for the mentally ill right now. They aren’t bad.

I forgot to mention, when they let me out of the hospital those times they let me stay at the assisted living center one month because I didn’t have SSI to cover the bills.