Welcome to my Life. One day, you’ll be able to show the purest form of empathy towards the same scenario in another. That’s the gift.
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I’ve been on the other side. I’ve had people call the police on me and take me to the hospital. One time it was during my vacation. I didn’t speak to my mom for atleast 6 months after that. I still hold it against her.
I must say I was living on my own minding my own business and some how my psych called my mom and advised her to have me committed.
It did more harm than good and led to me losing my job as manager of the consulting side for a $6 billion hedge fund with 13 people under me spread across 3 continents. She messed me up bad.
I was in a bad place but I was handling it until…
I had to commit my son when he had his psychotic break. At no time was I never able to find out what was going on. Something doesn’t seem quite right that you cannot get information since you are her husband. Keep being inquisitive. Ask for her doctor’s name and call direct to the doctor.
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Hospital has to have a discharge plan, which includes where she will stay, after discharged…suggest getting in touch with social worker at the hospital she is in.
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If she does not sign a form stating who the hospital can contact then no one is contacted. Spouse, brother, sister, mother…it makes no difference. HIPPA is the law. I don’t agree with it but that is how it is…
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Not always true. The HIPAA monster has taken on a life of its own to the detriment of patient care. The public is cowed the ‘professionals’ who have little understanding of the law. It adds a burden to caregivers we really don’t need. The link is an interesting read.
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Thanks for sharing this info on HIPAA.
You are welcome. I will warn you that it is a battle. I am a HIPAA compliance officer for a small practice and went to the seminars in 2002/2003 when the privacy rule of HIPAA went into effect. The fear of God was put into people. I have worked with HIPAA since it went into effect in the mid 90s for the portability portion. The act was originally designed to reign in insurance pre-ex exclusions by allowing you to ‘port’ coverage for 90 days if for some reason you were between coverage and to end the discharge of mom’s to soon after birth. The privacy portion again was to reign in insurance sharing too much medical information. As technology advanced the security rules kicked in to prevent leaks of information. That said…insurance is powerful and found workarounds to sharing --they have business arrangements, refigured pre-ex until ACA. And really once information is on the web the idea of security…well it is a delusion. In the end giving information to the PEOPLE involved in the care of their loved ones has been handcuffed by vast misapplication of the act. Sorry for the rant. But even with my background in HIPAA I run into walls and it frustrates me to no end.
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Sadly this can happen to any law… the original intentions were good, but the application of the law can develops well beyond its original intention… or sometimes the result can be the opposite of the original intention…
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She needs to be there. They will get her on meds and psychiatrist to help her. They need a discharge plan before they can release her. A follow up with therapist, Dr to prescribe her meds, and where she will reside. That would be you. Try talking to the social worker.
What you are going through is the fear I have if I get my husband involuntarily committed. I feel he will not talk to me if i do so. He does not have his sz diagnosis documented but the doctor told me what he felt it was. My husband hasn’t talked suicidal but he has many other issues. And just like you, I am the enemy. i am the one that supposedly tried to kill him or always out to harm him.
you did what you had to do and I would have done the same thing. I read the other posts and saw you finally got ins info saying she was in a facility so that is good. I hope the comes back home for you and your kids sake. I have an 8 yr old myself and to terrified to make any moves for his sake too. I will pray for you.
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Thanks for all of the advice and prayers. I just thought I would updated everyone on how things are going since I last posted. She went to the Hospital on 4/21 on 4/30 she called her mom and had her mom pick her up and bring her back to her moms house. Its been a month now and she is still living with her mom. She hates me very much so and I dont feel that she is much better. I got Zero information from the Dr. Her mom was told that she had to follow up with a therapist and a DR. She has yet to do either because her appointments keep getting canceled (she says) She is on some medication for delusions. She has a new cell phone and plan and I do not even have the number. She came to church with her mom and dad on Mothers day and sat with them. She has attended the kids awards day ceramonys and she picks up my younger son daily and brings him to my house where she stays for about an hour and sees the other kids then leaves before I get home. If I do see her in passing I speak to her and she ignores me.
Its hard living with someone for 20+ years and seeing them everyday to not even talking to them. Now her mom is in my shoes and does not know what to do with her. Please everyone pray for us. God has a plan.
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I’m sorry that you’ve had to do that, but am happy that you had the ability to. I am not so lucky with my son. He’s an adult and no one will do an involuntary hospitalization unless he’s a danger to himself or others. He’s not violent, even though he can become quite aggressive when yelling and upset. Anyway, you’re right that it’s okay for them to be mad at you, if it leads to them getting help. I would do anything to get my son help.
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I’m so sorry, I do understand how you feel, for some of us the delusions end up separating us from our family members.
I have been in the same place. Last year, I called the police on my wife, and she was mad with me for several months. Now we are doing great!
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My abusive ex husband probated me through the court. “Hed click his fingers and i didnt respond.”