Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I have a question and I need a lot of different opinions

Is it common for a person who suffers with schizophrenia to cope with heartbreak or letdown with rage . I’ve been dealing with my sons father in working trying to build back a relationship and I recently caught him texting other girls . So I told him let’s just be friends because he’s not ready for commitment. Instead of him being understanding he FREAKED ! He just started blurting out he doesn’t need me and he hates me . I’m thinking to myself do I react ? And I remembered he was sick so I walked away . He jumped in his car and yelled out don’t ever call me again you bitch ! I was so surprised and disgusted ! He was caught doing something and instead of accepting his faults he totally flipped the entire switch ! Is this common ? Does anyone have similar stories ?? Please share

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You don’t mention your ages, but I speculate you both may be in your teens or early twenties. Frankly, I think SZ itself could have less to do with his behavior than you might think. This seems more a sign of emotional and relationship immaturity. SZ can certainly stunt the development of these sorts of maturity, but I don’t think SZ is necessarily a prerequisite. I’ve seen plenty of seemingly normal people be angry and fly into rages during breakups. You seem to be expecting a cool and rational response to rejection, but these responses can vary widely. My guess is you may not have significant experience with breakups, so you may not have experienced this variability.

When you have SZ, relationships are a significant investment and you can pin disproportionate hopes on them working out. And when they don’t, it can be hurtful and upsetting. And there’s a bit of a grieving process that accompanies the loss. That anger can turn inward and manifest as depression, or outward as anger or rage.

Emotions are tricky when you have SZ even on good days. Many people with SZ might barely react at all, as if they had no emotional attachment at all, and it’s likely they wouldn’t have the self-confidence to attempt relationships at all. This is sometimes call flat affect. My experience is more that my emotions are delayed and less so in the moment. So at first I’m calm or a bit stunned, yet later when I have time to process my emotions I might get sad and first angry at myself, my diseases, society and maybe even at the object of my affection. But everyone is different. I’d expect extroverted people with SZ might tend more toward outward anger and rage. There are some people with more severe symptoms that tend toward rage in general, but my experience is these are rarer compared to those who are subdued and scared to leave the house.

I think it’s not entirely bad that your friend got angry or even that he’s texting other girls. There are many parents here who wish their children would risk making friends or dating, etc. rather than staying home alone. As long as you are clear to him how you feel about things and what bounds there are to your relationship going forward, I think things may blow over. Relationships are difficult for people with SZ because they have trouble with subtext, they may read into things that aren’t there or conversely not be able to pick up on hints or clues. It’s always best to be very clear to them how the relationship stands which seems to be what you did. He just needs to learn a bit more about relationships and grow up a bit, and unfortunately that can be painful for anyone, but even more so for people with SZ.

Edit: I read up on your post history, and it sounds like you’ve had similar issues with him for a couple years. I didn’t pick up that you had a child by him in your OP. Based on this, I’m not sure why you might have expected his behavior to change. Generally long term behavior for people with SZ doesn’t change significantly, it just waxes and wanes with stress levels and medication compliance.

Thanks for your response . We’re actually in our late 20s. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia after abusing synthetic marijuana for over 8 years. And we have a child . And I honestly feel like yes what you are saying is true . He also comes from a very weird background with no family support . I’m all he has . The one thing I don’t tolerate in a relationship is cheating and I made that very clear , and he keeps linking up and talking to other women . It’s like two totally different people . When he’s with me he’s all about me literally smitten with me . Then it’s like in the side he is very unfaithful . Instead of being apologetic he screams and yells at me like I’m wrong .

@Dracc123, sorry I’d posted my response thinking you might be new to this, but I see we’d had previous interactions on the forum.

I have a contact in an old school mental hospital who watched the rise of “designer” drugs, and her impression after working with patients who abused drugs like bath salts, synthetic pot, “molly” etc, is while there’s some overlap in symptoms and treatment, these cases are different than true SZ. Even psychiatrists refer to some of these patients as having their brain irrevocably “fried”. So you may be dealing with a person who in effect has brain damage, and the AP drugs are just trying to compensate for the symptoms. Expecting “normal” or mature emotional behavior may be too much to ask in this situation.