Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I need some serious advice


#1

Hi everyone

My son has schizo effective disorder. He went off his meds. And things are getting worse and worse. He started drinking heavily and doing drugs ( I think). He has been stuck on this idea that I have munchausen by proxy and have caused all of his problems. In the past he has called me Witch and a Nazi because I am Catholic ( he says). He lost his job because he was threatening his boss and got evicted from his apt. Then he started sleeping in my yard, and drinking when asked to leave he said no if you want me to leave call the police. So we did.

He is in hospital now and today left me a message that he was getting a restraining order against me because of the munchausen. My question to you all is should I be worried about this? and what can I do about it. He is very big and strong I am not.


#2

It sounds like you should be worried.

There’s not a lot you can do for him unfortunately. If he threatens to hurt you and somebody else then you can get him forced into a ward for a short period.

As for you safety, I’d suggest getting a restraining order against him. Carrying mace and a stun gun could be very helpful too.

Anyways, I hope things start to go better for you. I can’t imagine how heart breaking that must be. :disappointed:


#3

Thanks B B

He doesn’t come right out and say he will kill me or hurt me. But he says things like you are dangerous. I need to keep you away from children. I will turn you into the police. He says it in a very convicted and calm way. When He got picked up by the police he said he wouldn’t go with them unless they took me first. I had to pretend to go with the officer. I heard him tell them " it’s my mother she causes my symptoms I only have symptoms around her"

Of course this is not true I have only ever tried to help him. My other sons are worried, my husband wants a restraining order. I don’t want to over react. I could leave town. But would he pick another family member to target? If someone is to get hurt I’d rather it be me. I have kids and grandkids


#4

I’m sorry to say… and I regret this to my core now… but when I was in hospital… I was SO angry at my family. I accused them of many things. I was accusing them of stuff that never could have happened… I was just a ball of resentment and anger and negativity.

My parents left me to stew in the hospital and when I got nasty on the phone they would hang up on me. It took a while for me to calm down… (if I’m honest for the meds to kick in) and then I could see… pushing everyone away was actually only hurting myself.

I’d say… yes… be cautious… have a back up plan in case of violence that everyone agrees to… work on putting some boundaries in place…

But also… if his is detained in hospital for any length of time… let him stew and little by little I hope he calms down and starts to get out of the anger forest.

good luck and I hope you find a good outcome that suits all of you…

By the way…

www.nami.org
has a lot of support groups all over the nation. They would also be someone to contact for ideas. Then you have a living person in a town near you that can also give you some ides.

I’m rooting for you.


#5

Well, first of all, he won’t be getting a restraining order from the psych ward. But you need to call his medical team and tell them all this. That will make it easier for them to keep him there until they get enough APs into him to make him lose his delusions. Then ensure your own safety. Get a restraining order against him - if they let him out before he is effectively treated, that is likely to make it easier to bounce him back in.

I also sent my son away when he became dangerous to me. It threw him onto his own resources, and forced him to realize he is ill. He has been med compliant and living more or less independently since, and our relationship goes from strength to strength. Don’t be afraid. Things can get better.


#6

Maybe you can enlist the help of your other sons as much as possible. Hopefully, they will find the right medication that will keep him under control.