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In denial of having schizophernia


#81

Thank you for your personal story. I am sorry you have been through so much. I look at your story and it shows me how much more of this I have to go through. That makes me tired LOL. My husband has been having these delusions since January 2015…so 2 yrs now. It has not gotten any better and he still says nothing is wrong with him. I have mentioned the disability part that he could get it if they can see he is sick. He said OH SO YOU JUST WANT DISABILITY FROM ME’ AND I there is nothing wrong with me.

Anyway, over the last two yrs he has been a functional SZ. He cooks daily, mops/sweets daily (all routine to him). He takes a bath most times without me telling him. But when he goes through the bad episodes I look at him and its like something took over his body. He is sitting there so sad and lost inside. I want to hold him tight and telling him its okay but he would never let that happen of course. I feel sooooo bad for him. But he won’t listen to me. I feel the only way to get him in a hospital is to call someone out and he go involuntarily IF they do that here. I have looked up some laws today but it really didn’t shed a lot of light yet.

My husband has urges to talk. But not about his delusions. It is like I leave him alone and go to my sons room and my son and I entertain ourselves because my husband don’t want to be bothered. But many days my husband comes in the back of the house with us just to tell us something quick. Or just to look around. It is like he wants me to give him attention. I have even been surprised at least 3 times when he asked me “do I want to watch a movie with him”. Of course, not touching him or acting like is my husband. I sit on one couch and he sits on another (just like my husband likes it). Because to him, we are not together. We are not separated/not married. whatever. I never know what to expect from him. Does he want my attention, does he not. I don’t know.

Anyway, most days he is functional, some days he is not. If he goes through an episode like that over the summer I will have to ask someone to keep my son. My husband keeps my son when I am at work and my son is off school. So far so good. But not if he goes through a bad spell.


#82

Have you read “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help”?

Maybe a different strategy of what you’re saying or how you’re saying it might work? The book might give you some other ideas.

And, it could be that your husband will ignore what you say, but if someone else said exactly the same thing to him, he’d listen.

It’s a hard thing to deal with. You’re always second guessing yourself no matter what you do.


#83

I did see someone else (or you) talk about that same book. I looked it up on Amazon and its $20. I guess I need to get it. I also saw an article about a movie called “God knows where I am” that came out in 2016 I want to see. The lady lived in an abandoned house for a year or two and all she had to do was step next door to family to get help. She wrote a diary the whole time she was there. She was found dead with her diaries beside her. It tells her view of things as a SZ.


#84

Hi Kathy,
I was just thinking of you. How is your Sumer going?
I hope you have a happy 4th!
Jenn (Jan)


#85

My son has sz, and my husband has mixed delusional disorder. What you have described in this April 19th post is exactly what my husband has. He eventually got to the point that he was secretly video taping me to prove I was cheating. Told me once that he had proof on the video, that he saw the man I was supposedly cheating with on it. When I asked him to show me, there was no one on the video but me. He swore that he had seen it though. People with this disorder do see things that aren’t there in reality. In the end, I was sleeping with half my neighborhood and almost every man I came into contact with through my work. Ridiculous, but supposedly I was also trying to kill him. This is a very dangerous condition, and after a couple of hospitalizations, he went to stay with his family, about 19 hours drive from where my son and I live. He is medicated, and though he doesn’t believe I cheated anymore, he is still convinced that there are people out there trying to kill him. My point in telling you this is that no matter what, you must protect your son.


#86

@Leiann, my husband, my son’s father, had something similar.

He was like that about the cheating, and would randomly think people were against him, but it never went so far as to think they were going to kill him.

He was never hospitalized for it and never medicated. A few years ago when he was in his mid 40’s, it just stopped - like a switch was cut off. I think there are more people with this disorder walking around that many people would imagine.


#87

I bet there is. Unfortunately for my husband, it hit him around age 48 and has not gone away at all. He is on respirodone, and two anti-anxiety meds. He went to extremes and was very close to ending his life because of the fear. Horrible illness and they don’t seem too sure of what to do to help him. Between him and my son’s sz, I have had quite the crash course in mental illness over the past three years!


#88

I am good. And you? 4th was nice. I took off work!!!


#89

My husband is still in denial and untreated. He once said he saw a youtube video…porn…i was in and was cheating on him. He couldn’t show me the video. So yes, i have had that problem too. We have a similar situation.


#90

Sounds like we do. I didn’t get accused of porn but guess I was sleeping with anywhere from 15-20 different people. :slight_smile: Not funny, but have to laugh sometimes. I hope your husband gets some treatment soon. My husband finally got some help after leaving notes to say good-bye. Caught him hiding the notes in his drawer, then drove him to the hospital. For some reason he agreed to go. Was in for 5 weeks, then 4 weeks the next time. Now he is diagnosed with mixed delusion disorder, yet they are guessing when it comes to meds. On anti-psychotic, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety and sleeping pills. He’s pretty doped up but believes that people (not me) are still trying to kill him. It’s a scary illness. I’m sorry that you are going through all that you are.


#91

I am not sure how to get my husband to agree to go get help. ANYTIME i was to mention he had symptoms and I made it sound like its okay to have them…he would get upset at me and I became the enemy. He said I was just trying to make him look crazy.

So bringing up the fact that he needs help is exactly why I am the enemy now. When it first all started, he said he would go. But a day later I was JUST trying to make him look crazy again. I have not mentioned him needing help in a year now because when I do it just makes things worse.


#92

Have you tried reading I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help by Dr Xaviar Amador?

It might give you some ideas for new approaches.

I’ll look again for the links they provide on this site & post them here if I can find them.

EDIT: This is the thread with the links. I hope they help.


#93

Yes I read the book a month or two ago. But I would try to use the approach IF the accusations where about someone else. But he blames me for cheating or stealing the deed to the house. I can not say “well i know you feel this way but…” That makes it sound as if i did do it and it makes me mad to be blamed for something I didn’t do.


#94

kathyw1981 - there’s some alternate language you can use. People had suggestions on other threads when I was struggling with this issue recently

One thread was How to Respond in a Helpful Manner to a person with disturbing beliefs.

Another was Cognitive Behavior Therapy in regards to voices.

And LEAP help here please? Quickly mid conversation.


#95

So these threads are on this site? I will try and find them.


#96

Yes, enter the names of the thread into the search - that should pull them up.


#97

Okay, I have read at least one of the. Thanks!!