Just a thought , is your son Artistic ? i had no idea mine was until he got MI, i bought him paints and canvases and he paints really well and that takes up some of his time . Hope you had a good day today .
Linda omg yes, I always suspected he had aspbergers, and after SZ broke out and I asked the doctor @ the hospital, and he said my son was definitely within the autism spectrum. I knew he was “off” from a very young age. Even some his elementary school teachers mentioned it, but unfortunately I never had him tested. And I’m sure you know a mother’s instinct is usually right. There are now studies that say autism & sz somehow correlate, I’m not surprised. When he started letting himself go and isolating when he was prox 16-17, I knew it was more than depression. And he rarely talked, and hated being around a bunch of people. Extremely introverted and thought everyone was talking about him (very paranoid). They say in the beginning it looks like severe depression, and then other awful things manifest along with depression. This describes my son so perfectly.
He stopped over for food, but didn’t stay long, mumbled something about me smothering him too much, and left. When he’s agitated or seems like he’s mad @me, I just let him get the last word in. Tomorrow is another day. I take several hours @ a time with him.
I’m just grateful the worst of it today was he was mad @ me about something that he thinks I’m doing, like being too motherly. I’ll take it!
I’ll reach out to you tomorrow thru email. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org so you know it’s me when you get it.
Hope your day was peaceful
Hi Linda I just noticed you asked if he was artistic, I thought you said autistic. Lol
No, he’s not the artsy type at all
I agree with you. The illness un-medicated is, in my daughter’s case, fully destructive of her life, goals, abilities and sanity. And partially destructive to my life, goals, abilities and sanity. And fully destructive to the other family members’ relationship with me as it has severed them off from me and my daughter. It has destroyed my position in the neighborhood (too many police calls at my home).
Side effects (non-life threatening medically), now that she is medicated and able to hold a conversation and have goals, are far less destructive than the mental illness un-medicated and should benefit not just her, but her family, the neighborhood (she won’t be yelling and scaring neighbors), the police (they won’t be coming to our home regularly due to episodes), and me (I should be able to sleep at night instead of being woken often by loud, loud constant talking/yelling).
I may not be happy that she is being force medicated, but I am not as sad as I was before…
I didn’t think my son was the Arty type either but boy did he surprise me ! I was so desperate to give him
Something to do and I’m so glad paint came to mind . I paid him to paint me something as he wanted money for cigarettes. He asked me Mum what can I do to make money ? And I said paint me a nice picture .
On another note , I don’t know what it is but when he gets angry it’s direct to me and only me and saying I ruined his life as I allowed the doctor to inject him with drugs which caused his muscles to shrink and his ED . last week I cried from the heart so hard then pushed myself to snap out of it repeating to my self that it’s the disease talking to me not my son … today was a better day … tomorrow he will see his new psychiatrist
Linda, from my own personal experience and from what I’ve read and heard from others, it’s the primary caregiver (most often the mom) that gets the brunt of the negative behavior and is most often the target or topic of most of the delusions.
We have to somehow learn the “art of detachment”. It takes time. You’re not alone.
@oldladyblue, the side effects are EVERYTHING. You can only mask it for so long with meds. Pure poison, drug induced lobotomy.
Its so hard to digest it as us as mums gives our heart and soul to our kids and get mentally abused from them , its just crazy , so upsetting and I’m learning to let it go and try not to take it to heart . its so hurtful but i try and put myself in his shoes and feel his suffering and i feel so sorry for him . i just desperately ,like many others ,want my child back …
I guess I don’t understand your views. If a med stops the psychosis, it seems to me the med is extremely valuable. I can’t agree with your statement that meds are pure poison. If meds were poison, she would be dead. It certainly is not like a lobotomy either, as you are stating …
What do you feel should be done instead?
My husband is happy, he actually is, I asked him how he stays that way and he says he just doesn’t think about the bad stuff much.
@oldladyblue, my son takes it too. I don’t know what should be done, I don’t have any answers. All I’m saying is that I see right in front of me what these meds are doing to him. He became a zombie, this I could see outwardly, but I’m also sick to the core about what this is doing to his brain, his heart, his liver, his kidneys. Do you not understand this? You keep saying you’ll take this route because your daughter appears to be doing better, do you not understand that it will come with eventual repercussions? I guess you so badly just want to see your daughter function somewhat normally that maybe you were able to put everything else out of your mind, and seeing her as today. But to say long term side effects are nothing compared to the manisfestations of this illness, I find that statement very disturbing.
I want my son out of psychosis and talking and functioning, yes, but what about 10 years from now? Will he have seizures, will he end up with diabetes, will his liver fail him? My mother eventually died of liver failure as a result of being on pain killers all of her life after a car accident. The liver can only filter so much.
Another topic you & I disagree on, but we all have our views and decide according to what is best for our situation and something we can live with.
Like I said, to me, AP drugs are not the answer, and I wish there was another way. And I don’t sleep better @ night just because my son is taking his meds.
@hope, I’m sorry but I wish it were that easy, at least for me. If everyone thought that way, I think psychologists and psychiatrists would all be out of work, they would have no patients.
Personally mbheart, I think the man is a mess;) but a happy mess
In our NAMI class for one exercise they broke us up into groups - dads, moms and siblings. The groupings were supposed to return to the entire group with a ‘their" message. We moms debated and discarded different options before writing quite a detailed message. The sibling group’s message was not as long as the moms’. The dad group went last, their representative wrote one word on the board - RELAX.
My husband promised me that it had not been his idea. Right.
Hi oldladyblue, I hope things are continueing to improve for your daughter and you are able to breathe a sigh of relief. I’m breathing one for you.
We all wish our children didn’t have to experience this horrible illness, but I consider us extremely fortunate to be living in this time period, and to have medications available to help our loved ones live more peaceful and safe lives.
I can honestly say that my daughter was happy today. She was released from the hospital to come home with me, chattering about many things from the psych ward on the drive home. She is much recovered in my opinion, just like she was last year when she had the shot (but came off of it). She smiled a lot, ate quickly the food I brought for and said it was “delicious”, asked me to please help her find a job, and gracefully and with dignity, went back to her room quietly to sleep. I think this is a miracle. Seriously. The fact that so much came together to get her back on the AP that helped her so much last year, and is helping her again, I am happy tonight.
If a drug can break a psychosis like hers in just a few days, well I think the amount of good being done outweighs the bad.
No one knows their future. I have many friends who were younger than me that are dead now, some who are fighting cancer, some who a drinking or drugging themselves into being a zombie, some who seem “normal” today who might continue with good luck tomorrow or perhaps have a car accident and be crippled, we just don’t know.
If my daughter can have years of psychosis free life, because of a drug, well, like someone with cancer who tolerates all of the side effects of chemo and radiation, I am happy she has that chance.
I feel so happy for you both . Please keep us updated with her progress . My son has his second shot today and the doctors are hoping for further improvements he is 50% better at present . For once I feel more positive for his future enjoy time with your daughter .
I am just now catching up. Sorry to hear your daughter was arrested. Sounds like she is doing well and is back home and doing well.
Good to know she has had some treatment.
Take care, AnnieNorCal
I’ve been through some pretty rough times and at one point I would have said happiness is an illusion. As time has passed, I have settled in to the new life I must live. My life has been very painful with mental anguish and full of suffering and there was a time I would have said “there is no happiness”.
It’s been almost three years since my sons accident and assault, with everyday there is more acceptance and less anger, which brings more peace, and with peace there is a calm. I hope all of you can find your way, for tonight I am happier than I have been. AnnieNorCal
Shalom and Happy Holidays to you all
Edit: of course there are moments of sadness, but hopefully the sun shines again.