I’m new ! But I have been reading your post over past months and I want to say thankyou to everyone as this group is the only place I feel I get hope and feel safe ! I no longer go to friends or family to talk through my pain and sadness as it makes it worse . I feel I speak a different language now and only here does it make sense . My son is now 25 it’s been four years since his first time in hospital he no longer appears aggressive or has a need to run away at moment which is good but he has no motivation and isolates himself . I find this as hard as the active symtoms he had . Does anyone find they mirror their loved ones feelings ? Just stuck and desperately sad for him and what our family has become we are all struggling with this . I have recently starting seeing a counsellor in which I just cry . I think we all know all the strategies and things we need to do to stay strong but it’s our loved ones and the pain is too much . Wishing everyone so much peace of mind and courageous strength . As only when you have experienced this illness can you comprehend the pain ️
Aww bless you I’m glad you decided to post, and yes this place has been great , I’ve learned so much more from the kind/understanding people here who are going through similar experiences.
Yes it’s really sad, sometimes I am ok then other times I do allow myself to grieve .
Today I am grieving ! Not sure why today but really don’t feel like doing anything ! Like you I live in North of England and love the Northumberland beaches where I take my dog for a wind swept walks rain is also good for matching my mood so this part of the world is perfect for that ! You all seem so good at managing your loved ones calm and understanding . At the minute im just angry and probably still in denial thinking all will be well!
I would love to find a good face to face support group in the area do you know of any Jane ? Thankyou so much for replying
Similarly Faith 1 I find peace walking the dog, seeing him have fun too.
We have carers support groups here in our town, we also have had family therapy (son didn’t participate though)
I had a carer support worker whom I met every few weeks, saw her for a year and really helped, she left just over a year and has been replaced. I haven’t met the new guy but he rings me regularly.
Faith1, we all know what you mean. For months, I couldn’t attend church because when we started singing I would start crying. I had to tell people around me what was going on. It didn’t help and they didn’t help and while I still attend the church, this is my safe zone.
Now, I only share little amounts. Son is in hospital or every day is different.
I am hopeful my son is on the path to recovery as he accepted his shot and will start a community treatment plan. God is good.
Hi Mom2 thankyou for you kind words of support . I pray your son gets the support he needs to return to a good level of Health .Knowing there are others going through this gives me strength . This is a bad day for me but I will pick myself up again cause we have too !!! …just miss the son I had today ! Tomorrow I will embrace the son I have now! I want you to know how connected I feel to your own journey. I found the hospital experience for my son painful but hopeful at the same time . It’s like you have the professionals attention and can get some action going for our loved ones . It can be a real positive time for change for them and getting support in place for there discharge is vital at this time . Keep us posted on his progress
It’s a tough one that is for sure and yes it is a different language for sure. I do a lot to have my own life and a good support system. We’re about 7 months in dz. I went through the grieving process. What can you do though. My son has isolated himself in our home. He stays up all night and sleeps when we are home. I tell myself he is safe, he isn’t harming himself or others and he is eating. Sometimes I feel that it’s unfair he has gotten this but I am hopeful he will get better. Last Sunday he went out of the house and took some sarcosine - I was thrilled! Sometimes I want to be furious at the unfairness of the illness but mostly I try to remind myself that I am not going to let it win - I will not let it beat me : )
On a good day I have hope that it will get better and time will change this . I think the frustration of not being able to fix this just gets to me ! Thankyou for your support and caring comments keep us posted with positive progress from your son sending very best wishes to you and your family
We didn’t cause it
Can’t cure it
But can cope with it
And … it’s not a sprint it’s a marathon.
My son’s delusions started years ago. - I was a terrible mother, made him stay in his room all the time (that is abuse! he’d say), forced him to play baseball blah blah blah.
Recently, I have been assembling may photo albums showing him just how abused he was. Tons of Christmases, birthdays, friends, snowboarding, surf camp, family, trips etc - I actually think it is helping him. I’m at about 300 pages of photos!
Great ideaDianeR big hugs
I too have days of sadness over what has happened to our son. He is 19 and 3 years since his diagnosis. The sadness I feel is mostly because of a life of probably little or no work, wife/family or friends. All the usual hopes. The days that I feel better are those when I feel a sense of ‘acceptance’. I tell myself ‘it is what it is’ after I know I’m doing everything I can. I can’t worry about what I can’t control. Like in the Serenity prayer. My son still has ‘fixed’ delusions but they don’t bother him when his meds are right. He’s never been difficult. He’s east to live with. He’s very flat in his affect and speaks very, very little. They call it poverty of speech. I spend a lot of time with him and make life as stress free as possible for him.
I hear you! You are not alone❤️
Please don’t give up on your son’s future of having a job, friends, wife, etc. It is still possible. You are only 3 years into his diagnosis. Things can get better for him and you.