Is it better that mom isn't better?


The psychiatrist told me to stop caring about mom because I couldn’t change her schizophrenia, and agreed that she would spend the rest of her life disabled. Why? It’s not like my dad hasn’t tried when the insurance called the hospital to get her kicked out early and claimed she wasn’t mentally ill. She was better on the medication she came home with, but quit taking it after at most 2 weeks. She claimed it made her black out. But her illness is bad. She is suffering because of it. My friend’s mom has the opinion that by giving mom financial support etc. he is enabling her “behavior” in my opinion, he is enabling her illness not by fault but because there are no other options. She can’t take care of herself very well, she can drive and she can go to the gas station. She drives in circles around town, cleans my room and checks up on me. She seems to be ok, but it breaks me down how sick she is.

How irrational her beliefs are. They truly are delusions. They aren’t even of government conspiracies. They are beliefs that people are switched, that she’s been an actress. Her ideas have no logical sequence much like that of a dream that she can’t wake up from. She is still sad, still loves her family. The more I support her the more she has faith in me. I can’t be the one to step in and hospitalize her, but I was seriously envisioning it this morning. I envisioned getting her to a safe place, where she could recover from the damage of 4+ steady years of psychosis and trauma caused by having an illness.

She’s never been the violent sort, but her delusions are so violently attacking her mind that she can lash out and yell when she’s confused. She is bewildered by it, trapped in an ongoing battle for something she can’t grasp, herself. She rants sometimes, sits in the car and starts yelling at perceived characters in her head or mind. Complains that her head was shocked her ears ring, the light in the house even bothers her. She drinks a lot of coffee which seems to help a bit. My only wish is that, if she can’t recover at least have some semblance of happiness.

I can’t see this coming to a good conclusion, I have faith. I have hope. I can’t watch her die more everyday battling this schizophrenia with no help to cure the illness itself. I cured my symptoms! I got better! She supported me to get better, when I was ill. Why can’t I be there for her? She’s afraid, thinks it’s all a lie. She won’t seek help. She has been in a hospital in PA and that was also traumatic, but I want so bad—for the hospitals to be better, for the country to be better. WIthout a good country, it’s just endless suffering. Maybe that’s why dad won’t try a 5th or 6th time to get her forced treatment. He can’t stand the idea of it hurting her anymore than I can.

The lazy county system has ignored him when he’s petitioned to get her treatment. He’s on the board at a psychiatric establishment too, and is now chairman I think. Perhaps this is an effort to establish a way to help her, IDK. Probably. But then he said things like she’ll need to be in a permanent residential facility eventually, and that he’s saving money so that she can be put in one. Things like this make no sense to me. He said something like he was putting millions away toward it…IDK, maybe I misunderstood him. All she needs is some medication and therapy, honestly. That’s all it would take I know this. I may have made mistakes in college, but I am still rational and clear minded. I avoid those junkies now and I quit smoking pot. But, what can I do or what can be done to help?


I don’t think there’s much you can do to help her if she isn’t willing to seek treatment, except forced hospitalizations, and then the benefits wouldn’t last too long. It’s good that your dad is able to save money to put her in a residential facility. You and he cannot be her caretakers forever.


I straightened up when I decided I liked home better than the hospital. I was in a forced hospitalization and learned my lesson. I do not fight meds anymore.


Ok, well I haven’t been to a hospital since I was a teen and I don’t remember at this point what it’s like much. I trust my dad hates to see her suffer, but I think he doesn’t want to put her in a hospital for that reason. She’s doing a lot better than she used to be doing. She’s actually probably got extreme psychotic depression so I don’t know there’s not a lot that can treat that other than therapists. I realize I am motivating her a lot to recover.

i don’t think right now would be good for her to be in one of those places anyways.

CarolineC, it’s been challenging for the whole family.


I moved out because I couldn’t stand being around it anymore, and I mean the stress…


It’s actually possible that she really was shocked though.

That happened to me once actually, it was physically painful, it really hurt, and when it happened a face made of light appeared grinning at me, it had fangs.


Your situation sounds very simular with what I’m currently dealing with…my mom has gone untreated and nonmedicated for over 30 years. She is living in another state having paranoid and manic psychotic rages.she’s also suffering with a skin wound for over 5 years that I’m pretty sure it’s a carcinoma (cancer) that she refuses to have evaluated. I just flew to her for a week to try to help her see a physician without any sucess. I’m now home~to far to drive to her~ She’s alone without any friends, my father is severly disabled in a convalecent home, and she’s in this very bad condition…I just don’t know what I can do. It does feel like a hopeless situation.