Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Kid now tied down in a bed because he is dangerous to himself. Feeling so sad and sorry for him


#1

My 22 year old son spent June to August in an institution. The ward was friendly and relatively free. He was let out symptom free (as in no voices or at least totally back to being in control of them) and came home to a world full of promise. New case worker. Nice social worker (the first time he has been assigned a personal one).

Now this. I saw him starting to peak again and called his pdoc. Pdoc admitted him on the spot. New doctor does not know my son is not dangerous to others and has only ever harmed himself ( he has had SZ since he was 14).

I’m a single Mother. Alone here tonight with a phone call telling me he is in a solitary unit and they had to strap him to the bed. For a young man with asthma and excema and SZ this has to be so horrible. Feeling afraid for him. In need of support emotionally. I don’t live in USA. I have no other family but him. I am not allowed see him yet but will meet the new pdoc tomorrow. I know he is peaking, I know he is really out of control (he broke his knuckle banging his fist into the wall this morning in frustration). Sigh. Here we go again :((((((


#2

I’m sorry… I can only think to say, deep breathes. He is safe. Take this time to spend some time on yourself. It’s not being selfish.


#3

As horrible as it seems. he is safe and it’s likely the medication is sedating so the itching (from the eczema) might not be much of a problem. I’m not sure why you can’t see him…it seems a bit extreme if he’s restrained but have a conversation with the doctor tomorrow; it might be in your sons best interests at the moment.

As Barbie suggests…hard as it might be, just take some time out and rest knowing that if nothing else, he’s safe and not harming himself. It won’t be forever.


#4

Thank you both. The restraint was I suppose if he should hurt someone- or himself. He can’t hurt anyone else in a locked room alone :(( I just know how lonely he gets even with voices. I can almost hear him in my head crying. i am going to try and sleep, tomorrow will be here soon (it’s evening here) and I will see him and get more details.

You are right, it is not forever. And if i could only relax and try not to imagine him and how it must feel to be restrained, I would take some much needed me time.
Hopefully that will come after he calms and settles a bit. Which so far always has after peaking.

Thank you again friends, your kind words really are soothing.
goodnight. I will check back with better news I hope when i have it.


#5

I am so sorry this is happening to both of you. I can only imagine how scared you must be. We can hope that for now your son has most likely been sedated and might be asleep for now.

Maybe there is a way to find a doc who doesn’t believe in restraints so this doesn’t happen again.

I wish there was some advice I had or something I could say that would start the ball rolling to a better situation for your son. But for now the focus is getting him through this hump and back on track… then when he’s feeling better… then you can tackle the restraint issue and find out why they felt the need.

I’m wishing the best for both of you… I do hope your son gets back very soon.


#6

I’m so sorry for you and your son. I know when my daughter was hospitalized when she was on suicide watch they had different levels, and if when she was attempted she would be at a level they wouldn’t let her see anyone for so many days. So that doesn’t surprise me. The restraints do a little bit. Yeah, get more info on that! My DH used to work on the state mental hospital and they tried to avoid using restraints at all costs, and if they did they has strict rules about how they could be used and how long someone could be in them. So maybe, sweety, he wasn’t restrained very long. I hope.


#7

Firslty Id like to say by airing your views and frustrations here you are helping a lot of people. So, keep it up. And by the way we’re here to support you. Us schizos like to help you fellow sufferers, patients and family alike. We know through and therough the troubles youre going through.

I deeply regret the way I was when I was psychotic. I was abusive to neighbours and trouble for my parents. I regret the way I behaved, especially the fact that when I was deeply psychotic and unwell I spat in my mothers face. I deeply regret that. But I was mad with the voices. And believed crazy things, ill theings. I was unwell and I look back on that occasion as the deepest regret.


#8

I am sorry, too, for both of you. It is really hard to bear when you see your child in such distress. I hope it all calms down quickly and he gets better treatment.


#9

Sorry to hear, hopefully he gets better.
Also do you mean eczema and not excema? Googling excema turns up nothing.


#10

I hope tommorow comes quickly!
My son also went through that. I can feel exactly what you are going through! Wonder if they can let some one in to stay with him? The first time this happened to my son, I pretty much begged them to let me stay in the room with him. They let me in.
He must be sleeping by now, and probably had some medication?
I pray for you to get some sleep tonight. Please come back tommorow and let us know how things are going…Much love to you and your son OO


#11

Our prayers are with you, as everyone told you he is most probably sleeping and safe. Relax and don’t stress. What needs to be done needs to be done. Very soon he’ll be outhere around you and learning how to coop with life. Best wishes and please let us know how he becomes.


#12

Yeah, being strapped down to a table was definitely one of my worst experiences in life.They put thick leather cuffs on all four limbs with chains connecting them to the table. It was the longest 4 hours I’ve ever experienced.My personal opinion on restraints it that they are the exact opposite of what a person needs in a crisis. We shouldn’t be strapped down. Instead we should be taken to a big open field and allowed to run around in the open space to work off our problems. Sorry about your son. I am not in that place in my recovery anymore. I was in the middle of suffering for a couple years, now I
have come out the other side. I hope your son reaches this point without going through what I went through. I spent the entire eighties and early nineties in hospitals, group homes, day treatment programs, temporary crisis homes and vocational programs. I now live on my own, work part-time, and take online college classes. So miracles happen.


#13

He wasn’t hand restrained longer than 5 mins. That is the law here. He still had the stomach restraint belt on strapped to his bed when I visited just now. He is on suicide watch. that is why they had the restraint issue and he is alone in a bare room. He is sedated but hugged me, said sorry and has come down from yesterday. The restrains are used in this country everywhere for anyone who puts their own life (or others) in danger. It is enforced in every hospital sadly.


#14

Thank you. Don’t feel bad about the spitting. My son did it once too but I forgiven him and love him and always will whatever he did or does. He also shouts stuff at neighbors and then apologizes…he is always wanting to move house but that is just not possible.


#15

Thanks for all your comments. So VERY helpful. So good to not feel alone. Thank you!!! <3 Special thanks for sharing or relating to your experiences. Sorry about the spelling of eczema, spelling goes out the window when I am upset. This is the same mental institution he was in before for 3 months but he has been placed in level 5 this time. 1-5 depending on severity. First time was level 3. So he said to me today he is actually scared to go out of solitary and into ward 5. I will keep you posted. Your encouragement and support is amazing. All of you deserve medals.


#16

but i thought your not on medication,i mean do you trust medication or don’t??
i find you an interesting person,hehe


#17

@Mobc1990… I only medicate to relieve anxiety and tension. I dotn believe in medication as a cure.


#18

So you don’t follow your doctor and take it daily?you take it when needed it?


#19

yeah that’s what I do…I think its the best way to approach medication.