Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Mom refuses to live with me--need advice


#1

My mom was diagnosed with SZ in 2006 although she lived with it my whole life. It wasn’t until she was homeless and living on the streets that she was 5150 and involuntarily sent to the hospital that she was officially diagnosed and put on meds. Since then things got so much better. She got into transitional housing and has generally had her life in order. But about a week ago she started having her first episode in 10 years. Luckily I live in the area and brought her to my house to take care of her. She says she left her BF for good because he “pulled a gun on her,” although I know this isn’t true since he doesn’t own one and I’ve never known him to be violent. After speaking with him, it turns out she has been off her meds for a few weeks. I have an extra bedroom at my house and told her she can stay forever and I’d love that and we can work together to fix everything. However, at my house she was seeing delusions and being really paranoid about my dogs saying they were mocking her. She told me she was seeing things crawling on the floor and her clothing was telling her to go to a “bad place.”

So, without telling anyone, she walked off. We freaked out. I called her doctors and they couldn’t even tell me that she was with them because of confidentiality. Anyway, I drove there and there she was. They decided to move her to a homeless shelter! I have no power to stop them as there is no conservatorship. Since she’s been there she is again getting visions and now doesn’t like it there either. So her caseworker showed her an apartment but it is $700 a month and she only gets $800 in SSI! Plus what happens when this place is “strange” and she can no longer stay there?! I want her to just get stabilized so I can convince her to move back in with me. I’ve been having to drive really far to this shelter to make sure she’s taking her meds and it would be much easier if she was just with me. What can I do?


#2

I will be praying for you! And her of course! There really isn’t a perfect answer here. Unfortunately this disease is in control. Not you or her. But maybe you could get some advice from a lawyer about getting power of attorney over her. That way next time she ends up in hospital you will have a say in where she goes from there. Best of luck to you.


#3

@aflynnschneider: I’m in the exact same boat as you are. I’ve a 25 years old brother that I don’t have conservatorship. He is SZ, and doesn’t want to take medication at all, and he ran away 1 week ago saying he thinks I’m going to harm him - and I’m still unsure of how to help him to ensure that he is on medication. Someone suggested I talk to Crisis Network people in the area to see if they may have any ideas to help. I shall keep you posted on what I find out, and also please let me know if you find a resolution.