Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My Mother has Schizophrenia, Needing some Advice


#1

I am new to this, so sorry if this is not the place to talk about this. Just trying to reach of to get some help and see what my options are. My name is Kassie. My mother was diagnosed with Schizophrenia 16 years ago… During the 16 Years my father and mother got divorced & my dad got custody forcing my brothers and i to move away with him. We did visits throughout every year sometimes once a month. But my moms illness has gotten worce. I have now moved to the area back to my mom. My grandma took care of my mom until 6 years ago when she died and my aunt has been her caregiver. Now that i am here i am doing the job as her Caregiver. This has not been easy cause i have only been around her for small amounts of time over the past years. I have talked to my mom everyday and we have a great relationship… My mom is refusing to take her medication now and i don’t really know what to do. I have talked with her docter but i feel like her docter hasn’t been the best help? My aunt hasn’t helped the situation i feel like she is too bossy to her and I have been trying to just talk to her instead of being bossy… any suggestions on what to do would? thanks so much


#2

Sometimes you have to get really assertive with psychiatrists, because some of them suck and are aloof and lazy. Or if it’s an option, you can try to find a good one (there are good ones, it can just take some time to find one).

Not wanting to take medication is a really common thing for people with severe mental illness. With schizophrenia, it is often because the person is literally incapable of realizing that they have the illness. Sometimes it is because they are getting unbearable side effects but have a psychiatrist who sucks at communication skills (intimidating, narcissistic, doesn’t listen, etc) so the person will just stop taking their meds. Sometimes it is because a medication stops working, and the person loses insight while still on the medication, and then stops taking it altogether due to loss of insight. Etc etc etc.

With all of these things, having professionals who are hands-on-deck about helping, listening and advising, is crucial. So if you try being really assertive with the pdoc and they still act like a potato, then it’s probably worth it to find a new one if possible.

My 2 cents opinion.


#3

Thanks so much. This is all new to me & it just seems like its been a lot to deal with these last couple days. I am really worried about my mom. I just hate seeing her go through this. I am going to try and call her doctor tomorrow and see about getting her in another appointment. My aunt was talking about putting her in the hospital and I don’t want that to happen to my mom. She is the sweetest person Ever and i know she is struggling with her disorder right now. Thank you for your Advice.


#4

Welcome kassie09 Its great that you want to help your mom. Your mom as well as everyone else who suffers from this illness need people that will care for them and never give up. Its so important that your mom takes her meds. If you can convince her into taking her meds that would be a great start. Talk to your mom. Will she open up to you? Let her know how much you care. Try to go to her doctor apt with her to ask questions. There is help out there if your mom is willing to go to NAMI meetings or counseling or CBT. What condition is your mom in and does she need a caregiver 24/7? It seems like doctors can only do and recommend so much. It’s up to the patient to comply. As for your Aunt being bossy… I think that’s wrong. I understand we all may get upset because it is hard to handle but no reason to be bossy. You will learn so much just from being on this site…I know I did. Take Care


#5

Hello Talktome. Thanks for Your Reply. I am learning so much from this site already. My mom and i have a very close relationship. So her talking to me is always good. She knows i am there to listen to her and she knows i will always be there for her. So her opening up to be i think is a high possibility. I have attended one of her docters appts with her and I wasn’t very happy on how the docter interacted with her. What kind of meetings are NAMI or CBT? My mom is currently on Social Security She is unable to work due to her Mental Illness. She lives on her own, but has a boyfriend who i can’t get away from her. ( Hes not the best person out there for her, I believe he can be Verbal Abusive to her when we are not around ) Its a really tough sitiuation on trying to not get him to come around. My mom doesnt’ like feeling alone & she lives by herself. So having him around makes her feel some kind of comfort… Even though its not the best. Thanks so much for your help.


#6

Wow. What an amazing kid you are, Kassie.

I’d like to echo @talktome in that the NAMI organization should really be at the very top of your to do list. The meetings will give you access to supportive folks, helpful resources, and a better understanding of what is happening with your mom. My son knows I go to meetings for him, even though he’s noncompliant with his meds, and it helps a little because he knows that for one night every week, I spend my time trying to understand his plight. This will also put you on the inside track when it comes to speaking with the mental health medical community. @notmoses usually has a plethora of info handy

Big hugs
Holly


#7

NAMI is National Alliance on Mental Health and CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy. My sons doctor recommended that we go to both. My son doesn’t want any parts of it. I am starting NAMI meetings in March and I cant wait its for everyone they even have family to family meetings. You can google NAMI and learn all about it and call the number or join on line. Good luck keep us posted. Post any and all questions you want. That’s what I do and I am about to post another in a minute…


#8

@kassie09

The hospital is a pretty good place for your mom if her medication isn’t working. You can also get monthly injections of medicine if she is not good at taking them. The most important thing is to get her on the right medication then ask the pdoc for injections.


#9

**You are taking on a lot, you need all the support you can get! Any other family members on board to help?
Definitely find another doctor if this one is not interacting well with your mom.
has your mom ever been on medication?
VERY good that you have a close relationship with her!
Theres a possibility that she does not want to be on meds. While this is hard to accept-just be patient and loving. I have never been able to get my son to stay on meds. A lot of thinking has been going on with myself-and I think finally accepting this ( its taken over 20 years! ) and a few other things concerning him-has really helped lately with our relationship!
You are lucky that your mom is close-and will probably talk to you about how she feels. You are already one step ahead—good luck :blossom: **