For the last few weeks my son has been sinking deeper and deeper into depression. We don’t live in the same country so we can only talk on the phone. I didn’t realize at first how serious it was getting. Last week he told me that he was in a terrible state and was lying in bed thinking about suicide every morning. I asked if there was anything I could do to help and he said nothing. After I put the phone down, I thought that if couldn’t just leave it like that. I called my sister who lives nearer to him, and she called his psychiatric team (at my request). The nurse saw him and spoke to him about it.
Now he will not speak to me at all, or answer any messages. I only managed to squeeze one text out of him - he said I shouldn’t have told anyone.
I am so sad. I don’t want him to feel so bad. I want him to know that we love him and we want him in our lives. I know that it is against his beliefs to commit suicide so maybe he feels it is shameful for people to know he feels that way. But I didn’t want him to flip into that argument that “my family is better off without me.” We are NOT better off without him. We love him. He is a good person. He is good company, and a kind person, too.
I am so upset that he won’t talk to me. I know I have to be patient, but it is making me cry every day. Like now.