Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My son hates my partner and doesn't want him around


#1

I’ve been on before under a different username. My 25 year old son who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and is in psychosis,at this time, has suddenly decided he doesn’t trust or like my partner of 11 years. He told me yesterday that he doesn’t want to see him or want him to come over anymore. Do I go along with him at this stage or put my foot down and tell him my partner will still come over. My partner is willing to stay away, if that’s what will work best. I just don’t know. What do you think I should do. I’m waiting for contact back from a private hospital about admission. Personally, I think I’m just about ready to be admitted myself (sarcasm)


#2

personally? if your son is in the midst of psychosis i would put my foot down and say nope, he is still coming over and you need treatment. you can be understanding yet firm in your convictions at the same time. good luck with getting your son treatment xxx


#3

I don’t know man. I know your taking care of your son and that’s great. Your life is also a factor. I wouldn’t let your kid boss you around. He may be sz but it’s you’re house first. It sounds like you have a good and understanding partner.


#4

are you his biological mother? what about the father what happend to him? ofcourse your son will be negative about a stranger. he wants to have blood related people around, thats not a mystery.


#5

I think in my humble opinion, it’s okay to go along with him for a little while during his psychosis. If he doesn’t want to see this person, I’m sure he has some legit reasons even though most highly delusional. It’s okay to give him some space until he recovers. You can go out to meet your partner in this time until he recovers. Once he has his sanity back, you can talk to him and resolve the issue. Do you think he might get his sanity back quickly?


#6

You have the right to the pursuit of your own happiness. Tell your son that you will try to minimize contact between him and your partner when it is feasible, but he in no way has the right to be rude to your partner. You can’t let your son’s illness control your life.


#7

Thanks jaynebeal. I’m afraid that my son can become aggressive at my partner, if he turns up. I appreciate your comment. Understanding yet firm. Got it!


#8

Thanks SoitGoes. I do treat him with kid gloves but not so much because he’s schizophrenic but because he is in psychosis and is really aggravated by the sight of my partner. And yes, I do have a good and understanding partner but believe me, I had to kiss a lot of toads before I found my prince!


#9

Thank you waterway. I agree with you but I just wanted confirmation. Hopefully, I can get him into a private hospital within the next few weeks. I think he will get out of the madness in time but unfortunately he thinks he’s fine and doesn’t accept the diagnosis and is uncooperative with medication.


#10

Thanks crimby. He might have no right to be rude to my partner but I don’t think that will stop him, especially while he’s in psychosis. I will seriously consider your comment of not letting my son’s illness control my life because it pretty well is, at the moment.


#11

Hmmmmm… some people might have that response psychosis involved or not.

My mom’s last boyfriend was a goober for sure. Small man syndrome and shit. I was glad when that one ended. Oh wait I was psychotic lol. Null and void.


#12

If it helps…my mother tends to hold her ground with my dad. He sometimes demands particular things but my mom’s shutdown brings him back to reality at times.


#13

Uh, well…, you could ask your son WHY.


#14

My son dislikes my husband, his stepfather. Unfortunately the feeling is mutual. I am more disappointed with my husband, since I figure he is the adult without mental illness and should make more of an effort. At this point, my son rents a house from me, I see him almost daily, and he hasn’t seen my husband in months.


#15

Have they had a decent relationship in the past? A little distance helped in my situation. My partner would keep a distance during difficult times, but then slowly reappear. Not leave the house, just usually go to his room for a little while. My partner lets me handle any verbal communication. He doesn’t “parent”, but my son always knows that he is there when needed. Over time this has worked to our advantage, and now they do a few things together every so often. It takes someone special to travel this road with you. It’s not easy. Maybe there is something your son likes to do that they could do together? Just an idea…
Good luck!


#16

Thanks for the laugh SoitGoes! I needed that! It’s been a while!


#17

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. My son has had no problems with my partner in the past. My partner has said to him twice in two years that he needs to get more sleep and exercise (he sleeps little and does not leave his room. My partner is only learning about what is means to be in psychosis. It seems that when my son in in psychosis, his irritation of my partner turns to intense hatred. I’ve told my son that my partner and me have agreed for him to stay away until he goes into hospital. He says he never wants to see him again, even when he’s ‘well’! My son has to live with me under bail conditions so I can’t really ask him to leave, not that I would. I have asked him why notmoses. He tells me although everyone is upbeat about my partner, he KNOWS better. He says he doesn’t like or trust him. My partner is one in a million. My son would tell you that when he is well. They used to play golf together