Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

.my wife who I love


#1

First off I need to give a long story short version here, me and my wife K have been together for about a year we have known each other for decade’s,I’m her second husband her ex used her for a punching bag,she is my second wife my first was a good woman who was taken by diabetes. K was sexually abused as a child, she’s a loving person who thinks she doesn’t deserve to be happy or loved(more on that in a bit) I love her,she’s everything I could want in a life partner,she’s sweet,funny, beautiful and in my opinion very very attractive she is bisexual​be stated she gave up women for me,she has blue eyes that I get lost in, I love this woman. she is schizophrenic and has ptsd, she stated that she never took meds for her problems until me so she went untreated for a long time.she takes Prozac and seraquil, the Prozac has killed her sex drive which she hates but I’d rather her be stable, her highs are way high and lows way low, she hears voices which she has categorized as the dark and light,the dark tries to make her hurt herself (she’s a cutter but hasn’t done it for a while,I check)and the light which she says she only talks to. Last night she slept on the couch because the voices didn’t want her to sleep next to me. She accused me of sleeping around which I’d never do, she has irrational thoughts often, don’t get me wrong she isn’t a monster it just we have equally good and bad days, how can I tell her that her irrational thoughts are just that irrational thoughts? Any suggestions? She has a good Dr that is trying to find a right med,the Prozac seems like it works a quarter of the time be she was on latuda and it made things worse. k fears that I’m going to get scared off by her but I’m not,I worry about her but I’m not going anywhere.i love her,her friends has told me that she might sabotage things because she doesn’t think she deserves it and it does feel like she is push me away sometimes, does anyone have any suggestions?


#2

I’m sorry you are going thru this. My ex husband has paranoid sz, and it was a challenge to live with him. He went to psychiatrist, and tried many different meds, but didn’t stick w any of them.
I can only recommend that you take her to see a psychiatrist and reaffirm the diagnosis and start on meds. I’m sure she’ll resist the idea, but it’s really the only way for her to get better. Try everything you can to get her to go. Good luck’


#3

If she has SZ, you won’t be able to just tell her. You can try that, plus showing her, but you might have to wait for the right meds to kick in & reduce the voices plus any paranoia or delusions.

With her background, plus the pushing you away, you might want to read up on borderline personality disorder. She may not have it, but knowing more about that may give you some perspective/understanding & help you come up with some strategies.

My only advice is to be patient & handle her gently, kind of like taming a feral cat. For now anyway. If she gets on the right meds or into the right therapy, things could get better quickly. Just expect a lot of ups & downs, progress & setback, along the way. I’ve been dealing with this for years, and the setbacks seem to get me every time.


#4

Thanks ,her Dr is good,I just can’t get her to go to therapy


#5

DBT therapy is very good for both of you. You might pick up Marsha Linehan’s workbook and start practicing some things with her. I’m just starting it myself but plan to share the positive things to do for distraction with my son and husband. Everyone benefits really. God bless you both.


#6

Maybe you could go to her doctor’s appt with her and discuss your concerns. She’s only being prescribed antidepressants, which won’t do anything for the voices or delusions.


#7

True,her next one is Aug 1 but I’m going to try to get her in sooner, Dr seyed is a good doctor so he tends to stay busy, she’s not having a good day today…I don’t know what to do,I try to talk to her she either acts like I’m not there or has a snarky comment, im trying to be supportive but today I need some too. I’m gonna just going to leave her alone for a bit


#8

You could ask the doctor, or his receptionist, to call you if they have a cancellation and you could get in sooner.
Giving her some space is a good idea for her and YOU!


#9

We live in the country in WV so I’m going to go be one with nature