This is my first post. My wife has been behaving strangely for a few months, now we look back we realized that has become increasingly paranoid for the last two years. Since July her symptoms and delusions have intensified and she has just been diagnosed as: Psychosis, not due to toxic or physiological reasons. Her Psychiatrist believes that the eventual diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia is almost inevitable, but she must be observed over a longer period before it can be made definitively.
Over the last few months she has:
Distanced herself from our two young children.
Distanced herself from me. She became particularly acute around a month ago and demanded a divorce out of nowhere.
Began spending most of the day lying in bed.
Had increasingly improbable delusions. These started with me having an affair, me giving her an STD, my mother being a paedophile, our children not being hers due to someone implanting eggs into her before she got pregnant, people controlling her thoughts, believing that she can make people do things by writing them down, believing that our 4yo sends her secret messages that make her better, thinking that my parents are billionaires but everyone hides it from her.
Become extremely angry at times but mainly emotionally flat and apathetic.
Become very forgetful.
Began to have ‘fake memories’ although we suspect that she imagined these things at the time.
A terrible short term memory.
Thinks always that people stare at her.
Thinks all her phones and media accounts are being monitored.
Thinks people are ‘in league’ against her but wont discuss it.
Imagines a large group of people at times but refuses to talk about it in more detail.
She is in the care of a Psychiatrist and is determined that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her, she is just a little upset because she is going through a divorce (that she is demanding). She believes our 4yo is ‘special’ and now has no time for our 2yo. She hates me.
Most of the time now she is a very different person and denies there is nothing wrong with her. A few days ago I came in and she was being herself and wonderful with the children. Then when we put the children to bed she began discussing her delusions around egg transfer etc with me and confided that she knew she was ‘losing her mind’ and was saying things like she knew our children would be OK because they had me and she accepted she may not be able to look after them one day etc. She even agreed that the person she was just then would want me to shield the children from the person she is a lot now. Then last night I walked in and she was demanding divorce and insisting that she has custody of the children. She has moved into a hotel and comes to the family home in the afternoons to look after the children. I suspect that this is to avoid observation.
She was put on Valdoxan, Lexotanil and Xanax for a couple of weeks to rule out psychotic depression. It didn’t help. Yesterday she got her diagnosis after having a different conversation with her psychiatrist than he was trying to have with her. She was then prescribed Zyprexa but she is living in a hotel and we have no idea whether or not she is taking it.
I am terrified for our family. I’m trying to hold down a job, give our children the emotional input they need especially our younger one, arrange the best healthcare I can for her (which she is resistant to) and simultaneously work with a divorce lawyer to have a case ready that she is an unfit mother in case she files against me and tries to take the children.
It felt like when I spoke with her the other night she was saying goodbye to me, not in a suicidal way but in a way in a melancholy way that she was slipping into madness and needed me to look after the kids, then it switched a few days later to super aggressive ready to divorce me and take the kids. The rest of the time she is just flat, a shadow of herself.
I’ve been dealing with this for a month and am becoming more and more anxious, part of me grieves for her, part of me is protective of the children, part of me is getting ready to flatten her in a divorce if she forces it and tries to take the children away.
Has anyone else been through anything like this before? Has anyone experience of Zyprexa? Having read the side effects with nobody watching her take it and her belief that she isn’t ill and everyone else is mad I just can’t see her taking it.
I’d love to hear from anyone else that has been through something like this or has experience, either as the person that got ill or the spouse/ co-parent.
I just don’t know what to do and am terrified.
My reference to my wife as ‘she’ is not to depersonalize her but for confidentiality reasons.