Hello to all,
I have been posting on here for a few years about my untreated sz brother and the problems we have.
We live in different cities. He lives in my late dad’s house in a far away city. We had parted a long time ago till our roads crossed again in 2015. He was in very bad conditions when we met. Since then I have been trying to support him in all ways. Last year, my husband and I tried to get guardianship for him so that he could have an income of his own through government. ( We are not in US, but in Europe so the laws here allow him to get 1/3 of my late dad’s retirment pension if he is under guardianship) Unfortunately, he refused to
undergo medical inspection and this attempt failed.
Since then, we have been communicating less and when we do, our communication is very brief. We still support him and try to make sure that he has at least minimum living conditions.
He has accused me of several things so far which I always ignore and don’t take personally. In the meantime, I try to learn about the illness as much as I can and educate myself.
I really can’t understand though how a human being can be so irreverent and ungrateful to someone who tries to help him that much. He did smear campaigns against me in the past and so many other negative things. I feel like this is pure narcissism and he has so much hate against me which I have difficulty understanding. Why do they hate the people who cares for them ??? Really confusing !
Last week, I called him and we chatted a bit. I asked for a very small favor from him. I wanted him to contact a very old friend of mine who lives in the same city he does. (My friend’s phone number was changed but she still resides at the same address) And also told him that if he didn’t want to do that, just to say ‘no’. My brother said okey, but next morning I found a message from him telling me that I was trying to use him or I was not in my right mind when I asked for that from him.
I got so mad and did something I was thinking of doing for some time. I wrote back to him. I told him to behave decently. I said ’ Noone owes you anything ! The world doesn’t owe anything to you either. If people support you, that is not because they owe you something. Are you aware of this fact ?? ’ etc. He didn’t reply or may be he had blocked my phone number after writing to me and didn’t get my messages, I don’t know.
What do you do when your loved ones act out? Once I talked to a sz person and he told me not all sczs were like that. He said my brother had some character defects maybe. How do you build up boundaries with your mentally ill loved ones?
And is extreme narcissism a part of schizophrenia?