So sorry you are going through this Tippy. I don’t have any help for the housing problem you are having except. In my area the police actually have a mental health unit that you can contact and supposedly they can help with housing (if available) and other county facilities that may help. Also when my daughter has been hospitalized they had people that would help also. You may be able to contact a local hospital if they have a mental health ward that may be able to help. If he has a regular doctor sometimes they have some ideas also or people for you to contact. I do have a NAMI in my area but I have not gotten there help but even my doctor seemed to think highly of them. Or ask your own doctor tell them how stressed out you are and how bad things are getting, they may have some ideas.
My problem with some of these areas is you find out if you or they are not actually homeless they don’t or are not able to help. You are not the horrible person he is saying. He is telling you you are horrible then asking for you to help, in the same sentence. If you do get him a place you do realize now you will have to maintain it for him or he will probably be kicked out soon.
Wish for a good outcome and praying for you, and your peace of mind.
@Carlie oh a long acting injectible! That is what gave me my daughter back, the Haloperidol Dec Shot. Slowly the improvements came when she went on that shot, month by month. She is still on it, and now no one would know she was so ill in the past.
I hope your son stays on the medicine and that a place can be found for him. With his disabilities and being on meds, he probably can be placed. Here in our area The Boley Centers has housing that includes medication supervision. They didn’t take my daughter as she wouldn’t stay on her meds at that time.
@Irene
do you have guardianship on your son? this is the only I was able to force him in Hospitalization and taking medicine. I went through a lot with my Son and I tracked him through several states and get out of Jail couple of times. Finally he has been home with me since 2020 and now, he is doing better and taking his meds on regular basis.
Try your best to get him out of Jail and get treatments. Jail is an very tough and hard place for anyone. your son deserves a chance to get better and he can get better with right Treatment.
Keep trying.. will keep you in my prayers
I didn’t contact the social worker, I never knew they had one for loved ones of the inmates. There is a court hearing tomorrow for the new felony and we will be there. It is so hard to go to those hearings, last one I saw my son for like 2 minutes and he looked so awful I could hardly stand it. He is 29 and he looked like he had aged 30 years and he looked so out of it. I hope Nathan continues to improve. I keep my expectations low now, just getting him into a care facility is really all I expect. It doesn’t t appear that my son will ever live independently anymore. He likely will be so traumatized from isolation and being psychotic for a year straight. Hopefully I am wrong. Have a peaceful nite and my prayers for all of us on this forum.
I don’t have guardianship over my son. Yesterday when I got home from work, he announced that he was getting out of our house. He can’t think at home and we are controlling his brain. He found a 1/2 way house an hour drive away. He was determined, so I took him. I don’t feel this is the right thing for him, but he has gotten so bad at home without the meds, I dropped him off. I feel guilty that I am not equipped to deal with this disease. I feel guilty that it was so nice last night to be able to sleep with my bedroom door unlocked without fear. It was like being able to breathe again. No arguments last night, it was wonderful. I know this will only be temporary, but I am happy to have a break.
@Tippy Please, please, please do NOT feel guilty. He wanted to go. Let go of him, is my advice. Now is the time for an ultimatum from you on what he needs to do to be allowed back in your home (like back on treatment).
Irene, I’ve visited my son twice at the psychiatric hospital-difficult to see him- looks so different-so sad-he’s calling me regularly though- it’s so strange you think he’d ask what happened-but I’m just glad he’s safe -they’re looking for a nursing home for him-he can’t take care of himself and I can’t take care of him- thankful for today-I’m working on taking care of myself and putting myself first/Alanon helps me stay relatively sane- meeting on zoom everyday- take care -
Hi Carly, Thanks for update, my son is still in slolotary, I don t know when they will find a place for him, he had a court date on Thursday, but he refused to get out of his cell to go. I don t know what will happen, if they will find a place for him. My son’ s 30th birthday is in May and it will be so sad if he has to spend this big birthday in solitary confinement. My husband had agreed to drop the felony aggravated battery charge against my son if he was medicated, but how he has changed his mind, my husband s daughter, who has many mental problems herself, has convinced him not too. My husband was hit by my son , but had superficial wounds and never had to go to ER. This is making things more heartbreaking , as husband and daughter have no compassion for my son and are just out to make more trouble.
I am losing sleep over this new development as this could mean prison time for my son. It must be so sad to see your son and I am expected to be shocked and so sad if and when when I get to see mine. I pray solitary ends soon as it is going on six months. I am glad your son is able to call you finally and you can see him, which must be a comfort that he is at least off the streets and taken care of and out of solitary. Take care and we both have to try to take care of our selfs.
Well, my son is back home. He only lasted 4 days at the 1/2 way house. We are back to living in hell. My son has been on a rant about how we are ruining him and holding him back and on and on it goes. Still not taking his meds or seeing his psychiatrist. We weren’t supposed to let him back in the house, but my husband caved. The ultimatum doesn’t work if his dad doesn’t follow through.
I’m so sorry you are back to the madness !
It’s so hard to keep up hope, when the programs put in place to help our loved can’t even help!
It’s just Hard !
My thoughts are with you
True. Time for plan B. My friend (age 72 with a sz son living with her) actually used legal means to evict him from her apartment. He was homeless, for several months a church with shelters took him in. They only allow 3 months for someone to stay. She said she would never take him back. He couldn’t find anywhere else. She caved and let him stay over for one night. However, he wouldn’t leave the next day and is still living with her. She would have to legally evict him again but hasn’t. Thankfully he is not as verbally abusive to her any more.
Well, my son left again last night with another stupid plan. He is living in a hotel about an hour away. His plan is to stay for a month and then find a new place to live. He will blow through his money very soon. I am just so relieved to know that when I get home tonight he won’t be there. This disease is exhausting. The verbal abuse, the nasty looks he gives makes for horrible living. We all know that a hotel is not the right place, I just keep praying that something will work out for a more permanent supervised living arrangement.
I can relate to the nasty looks and the feeling of having to walk on eggshells in your own home. Instead him in a hotel, its me that’s in the hotel, he said he needed space and didn’t allow me to return home, which was a blessing in disguise because he had plans of keeping me locked up in a room (he thought i was a danger to him and the pets), i have not been in my own home, which i am still financially supporting all of us, for over 2 weeks now
I was crushed when he didn’t allow me to come home but i will not abandon him because i know he is not mentally well, i hang on to hope and prayers; i will pray for all who have to deal with this illness, its not easy
Choose yourself as much as you can. Take care of yourself. Ensure you have a safe place to live. Remember the first rule of lifesaving: a drowning person can grab onto you so hard and flounder so much that both of you will drown. You HAVE to have a life-preserver if you attempt to save someone else who is drowning. Although my daughter’s travels from pschosis to a new sane life DID occur, it took over 3 years, 5 hospitalizations, 2 arrests, a big toll on my own health and finances, and a court order by a sympathetic judge to get and keep her on a correct medicine. This is a war: the fight against severe schizophrenia. Do not exhaust all of your own sanity and finances trying to fight it.
Thank you for the support, i am also in the process of getting my own therapist to keep me afloat plus support from friends and family who are trying to understand
Thank you also for the support. My son is coming home again today. The hotel only lasted 1 week. But boy oh boy did I enjoy 1 week without him! It was like I could breathe again. Knowing that he will be back in the home just makes my guts hurt. He blew through a lot of his money while away, and I can only guess what he was buying. He is still refusing his meds and his psychiatrist. I am back to living in hell. I just can’t find more permanent housing for him.
Just remember you did not cause it, can’t cure it or control it. I am only responsible for me. I can’t and won’t be dragged down by a person who can’t and won’t help themselves. I would do anything for my son if he’s part of the plan for recovery. If he chooses no recovery there is nothing I can do for him. My serenity and safety must come first. Mental health services for severely mentally is lacking. If the professionals can’t help them why do we think we can?
Carlie, thank you for writing that. Just need to hear that sometimes. If only my husband would get on board with that way of thinking! They went at it again last night. This disease is horrible.
Thanks Carly, I needed to hear that too. This disease can consume the parents and family also. It is hard to go on knowing your child is suffering and to top it off they refuse to help themselves. We have to try to carry on as best we can. 
It is a terrible situation and there is just no help out there for those severely mentally ill. Stay strong and do some nice stuff for yourself if possible. I know the illness drains the life out of everyone, we have to just carry on and see what happens. We are just causalities of this horrible disease that no one who isn t affected seems to care about. Take care and remember this is not our fault.