Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Need support and hope for relationship with bf


#1

My boyfriend is struggling and has been on oral meds for awhile, and now added invega injection-its been 1 month. but late now for his next one and I’m frustrated with that. He’s so up and down and i can’t seem to not react when he’s hearing things and his delusions. I try to look for posts of partners/bf gf/husband wife to get hope and support. This is my first post.


#2

@Bbstschz As hard as it is try not to lose hope, the road to stability is often long and bumpy, but worth it…how we react to our loved one’s delusions/illness can often play a role in reaching stability…in my experience less is more. Best wishes to you and your b/f.


#3

Hi and Welcome to the forum. I think you’ll find a very sympathetic, supportive and relatable group here.

Very sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s struggles. It sounds like the issue is that he doesn’t want to go for his next injection - is that it? It also sounds like that medication is not helping him enough. Do you have a relationship with the doctor and treatment team?

If possible - it would be great if you could participate in his treatment by joining him on doctor appointments.

Its also very important to communicate - both in writing and verbally to the treatment team about the issues you and your boyfriend are facing. We have some resources on the site to help you with this. Send a letter and call the doctor and while he or she may not be able to share healthcare information to you - there is no laws saying you can’t tell them exactly what is going on with your boyfriend, and follow it up with a letter to communicate and reinforce the serious nature of the problem, and hold them responsible for negative results of poor treatment.

Try to get his family involved if possible - since they may have more influence with the medical professionals.

Here are some good resources I’d recommend you review:

How can I help my loved one get the best care possible?
http://schizophrenia.com/family/FAQgen.htm#bettercare

and

How to Force the System to Give You or Your Family Member Better Care
http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/bettercare.html

Here are some recovery resources:
http://schizophrenia.com/family.php

and here are some videos to help you understand how to talk with your boyfriend if he’s refusing medications because he thinks he’s oK without them:

and


#4

Dear Bbstschz;
My girlfriend has schizoeffective disorder and I have struggled many days trying to deal with delusions and angry outbursts. I try my best to stay calm, to just listen at first, not to interrupt, and when I want to say something I simply ask if I may have a turn talking. This seems to work well because of the control I seem to give her. She prefers this technique because then she really feels I am listening.
As far as the delusions go, I just always reassure her that I do not doubt any of her feelings or what she sees or hears. If she is experiencing those things then I feel I do not have the right to tell her they are not real, because to her they are. However, if there is something I strongly feel is going to effect us negatively I simply keep calm and tell her that “I don’t see that” or “I don’t feel that way, I am sorry that is what you are feeling right now”.
My advantage is that she is well aware of her illness and she takes her medication regularly (sometimes she needs to be prompted but there is usually not a fight).
I hope the love you have for your boyfriend gives you the strength you need to persevere with him through his bad times. In the end of course, my gf is always worth every bit of effort I have to put into our relationship. And when I loose my patience, I always apologise and ask for forgiveness when I have calmed down. Naturally I expect the same from her when she looses her cool. Love to both of you. Hope this helps a bit.


#5

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I think sometimes his delusions scare me. He is so scared that I get really uncomfortable. When he doesn’t feel safe and think people are outside to get him there is nothing I can do…I think I also end up feeling really abandoned when he gone into a episode for 1-7 days because we are so close. We communicate really well when he is doing well and are best friends. I’m in therapy for my own issues anyway so I brought this up a couple times and I don’t like the feedback I get that it won’t work out or that it’s really not good for me. I’m starting to attend a nami 12week course this week to help myself and him.


#6

@Bbstschz Nami is great and an eye opener…I got a lot out of it myself…changed my outlook for the better…