This is my first time on a message board so looking forward to this experience (as I type this in tears
My husband - we’ve been together since we were 16 (I’ll leave my current age a mystery) - we’ve been together for a life time.
He was, even back in high school, a bit paranoid but nothing really came of it - he wasn’t upset or let it interfere with life. But the last four or so years have been really hard. The paranoia is getting as bad as it could - he thinks the Police are out to get us (stealing our mail, watching him etc), He thinks my friends are all using me, he thinks my company has nefarious intentions etc.
He cannot hold a job and cannot keep deep relationships with friends (mostly b/c he doesn’t trust them). He was hospitalized last October (involuntary hold). We went to the hospital together (although begrudgingly on his end) - they ended up keeping him and putting him in a facility. After he got out he had major issues with being locked up - he was sexually abused as a kid and this brought all the helplessness and lack of control. To be fair I think so much of this is rooted in trauma so the trauma from the abuse was already there - not being able to leave the facility just exacerbated it.
He was put on Zoloft and Olanzapine (sp) - I don’t think the Zoloft did much but the Olanzapine helped to calm him down and focus - still couldn’t get a job but could do things around the house and be fine in public - he still had his paranoia of course but was managing and not freaking out all the time.
The mental health care he was receiving was horrible. The woman who was supposed to diagnose and have talk therapy kept forgetting who he was and got him confused with other people. She never actually did talk therapy with him and it was NOT trauma informed whatever she was doing. Thus we had no diagnoses.
The woman who was doing his meds was a little better but still didn’t talk to him about anything. He said the Orlanzapine was giving his HORRIBLE nightmares (it was) and he gained 60 pounds in about a month. I made him an appointment with a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner to get different, more trauma informed care. When my husband mentioned the side effects and that we were gonna see someone else she told him to stop taking the Orlazapine and that it was “fine” - I freaked out a little but didn’t protest (lesson. learned.)
After about two weeks of being off the med and still a month out from our new appointment (that is happening next week) as you can imagine he relapsed and HARD. Started saying horrible things about my dad that we’re/aren’t true (my dad passed a long time ago), started saying horrible things about everything and everyone and just really freaking out, not sleeping, etc.
I had to run out of the house his paranoia and yelling got so scary (I have never personally felt in physical danger, he’s a pussy cat). I ran to the police station by us and without going into all those horrible details they handcuffed him and put him in an ambulance.
They put him on another involuntary hold and now we wait.
I don’t really know what I hope to get from this - support and understanding I suppose. And, does anyone have any success stories to share? I am feeling so hopeless at this moment and that is not me. My parents both died when I was very young, I was born stoic and have broad shoulders to carry this all on. But this time…this time I see cracks in myself.
My husband also is so very mad at me for calling the police - he said “this is victimizing me all over again” “I am so, so angry at you” He said he “doesn’t know if he can trust me again”. That is the worst part - he truly is my best friend and has never talked to me this way.
I just need to know there is hope and hear stories. Does anyone know if the paranoia ever goes away or do success stories just mean they are still paranoid but calm?
I am just so at a loss.