I’m new here and I’m reaching out for help… My husband and I have been married 30 years this year and I think he has paranoia schizophrenia…its almost distorted our marriage…he thinks I’m cheating …I’m not god knows I’m not…he constantly jumps on me tells me I’m no good I’m a pice of trash and those words cut me deep into my heart…I love him and I have tired to get him help and he won’t accept he has a problem…unless he does harm to him self or others there’s nothing I can do…its aweful please help me
Sorry to hear about your situation and husband. I recommend you spend some time reading older messages here; there are many who have lived through situations like yours and much to learn from their actions.
Try to get him to an early psychosis treatment and evaluation center - see this lis:
Learn about how best to interact with him - from these videos:
and
I’m sure many more people will add some suggestions - but start reviewing older messages and I’m sure you’ll find some good ideas.
1 Like
So sorry to hear about you husband. So many of here are in similar situations. Watch the videos provided, they are really informative. It’s difficult to think our loved ones as having a mental illness. You should talk to a professional about your situation.
Please take care of yourself and be careful.
I live in ga…I have ask many times and tried talking I don’t know how many times to get him to go and just talk to someone just to see if he needs to have a little help and he gets real upset with me…its been almost three years now that this started and I’ve prayed so many times for god to help me to help him in some way…at times I’d think this will get better and it just gets worse. I took him once to mental health and he wasn’t in room but five mins he gets up and walks out mad…then I called mental health out to my house and he told them I’m a cheater act act…they said what he says ain’t nothing like out of reality so they couldn’t do anything.I told them yes it was because I know all he said didn’t happen. All I do is cry cry and cry…why did this happen to us … I can’t even look at a house to hard I this k is pretty or I’m looking cause of a man he says…my kids have been thru a lot as well…I just don’t know how to get him help…
Can you leave him on his own for awhile? I don’t know how old your kids are. If you are not there maybe he will be encouraged to get help to get you back. Plus, you could get a break from the situation.
2 Likes
I know I’m babbling on and on I’m so sorry.I just want to tell what my family is going thru in hopes of someone that may be able to help us figure out what steps we can take to help my husband…I’m scared of him finding out I’m on here talking about him. He would get upset so I don’t get to say or ask everything on one post… I’m fearful of him knowing I’m here for help …I’m here not just for him but for me and my kids…we have three kids two grown and a 14 year old…they tried many times as well to talk to him and he gets upset with them and thinks that don’t care nor love him…thinks they taking sides with me…he thinks people are watching him… That I’m cheating and with multiple men…gives names of men that do live in our town but I don’t even know them…he’s even said he’s seen me with them…what hurts me a lot is he’s told everyone people he works with ect ect that I’m this aweful person and swears that I’ve tried to poison him…he’s even called to law and told them those men he names are trying to kill him…I only have tow brothers left and he’s run them away from us with he acuseing them of trying to harm him…now I just have him and my kids…I do love him very much always have but I can’t keep going on like this. I feel hopeless …he’s been abusive to me at times …at times I’ll be honest I’m really scared of him…he even has said many times he this is his mama has helped in trying to have him killed…I get upset with him I can’t help it…I’m so sorry I just wanted to share some of what its like. I feel like I’m nothing …I’m looking older and older my kids tell me I don’t take care of my self as use to cause I’m getting depressed…
1 Like
“Danger to himself or others” are the magic words to get an involuntary psych hold at the hospital. If you’re this scared I wouldn’t hesitate to try to find help.
1 Like
I did leave him and stayed at my brothers in hopes to maybe it would help him but it made things worse…he would ride by all night trying to see if I was cheating…that was when this first started…I have no were to go.I’m hope I’m not going on to much but it takes my breath away when he says they can have you cause I don’t want you now cause you been with men and I haven’t . he says hurtful things so much to me.
Can you go and visit/stay w one of your kids? It doesn’t seem like you in a safe place, physically and emotionally.
2 Likes
That’s just it all my kids live at home still the oldest is disabled.
You could also go to a women’s shelter. They’d be able to provide a safe place for you and your son. They could also shield you from any haradsment//such as his driving by in the car.
1 Like
I have thought about a woman’s shelter before…he’s outside right now looking around he stays outside a lot watches we live on a dirt rd and he gets up every morn foes and looks at tracks and if one is to close to edge of yard he thinks a man picked me up that night…I got to close for now its late here he’s now ready for bed. Also if I ask him to come to bed he thinks its so I can get him to sleep so I cansneak off…I’m with him 24/7 …
I’d like to ask if what I’ve told you does my husband have true signs that he could be schizophrenia? Also want to thank you to those that have replied…it gives me some sorta hope that I didn’t have before coming to this site thank you…
We are all laypeople and can’t diagnose a mental illness.
But I can say that your situation sounds very difficult and your family needs support.
I think it would be appropriate to reach out to services for families of abusive husbands.
Then, when you and the children are safe, see if there is medical help for your husband.
Please help yourself and your children first.
4 Likes
I just wish this wasn’t happing…I want my family… Want my husband to trust me and love me and our family…I feel my marriage is over…he looks at me with hate and anger…for what reason?? I’ve never cheated nor do I understand were this comes from…it all seems to be my fault he says and he tells people I’ve did those things to him. He hates some people and he don’t even know them him self…he blames other people for messing his life up…I’ve not seen anyone try to harm him nor say anything abt him…I just don’t understand…he thinks people are in the woods by our house trying to shoot him…I’m not allowed to go to store without him or I’m cheating…there’s lots of people that live on same rd as us and he’s accused me of for so far and that’s not to count the others in town…we live in country…I’m so ashamed to go outside…
If you feel you can’t get away from him, call the police and ask them to escort you, your kids, and overnite bags, to leave the house and settle elsewhere for awhile.
You can get the rest of your belongings later, if need be. A cop will come with you back to the house to get your stuff. I know about that from personal experience, only it was he who had to come collect his stuff.
2 Likes
Also, if you don’t feel safe, keep your cellphone on you or within an arm’s reach.
If you need me to, I’ll call for you when you are ready. Just send me a private message🌹
2 Likes
Hi Lost. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I read your posts and I can absolutely relate to the accusations and the pain.
This is not your fault. You didn’t cause this. You cannot fix this. Please don’t wait to call the police. The sooner you do that, as awful and humiliating as it is, the sooner you can get help and move forward.
From the day this all started to be very noticeable to me it seems my life ain’t been the same…everyday he comes up with something he’s added to it…I have to be careful what I say and do around him or he will start to read things into it that just ain’t so…thank you for your knid words…I don’t get kind words often…I’ve called the law before back when it started and they didn’t do anything to help him.I’ve left before in hopes it snap him back…didn’t work… I’ve called mental health to come see for them self’s no help… I set and think k did he have a mental problem the whole time and I just didn’t see it…he talks to him self all the time.
Thank you very much …I’m glad to know I got someone willing to help me when the time comes…I’ll do that Jan I’ll message you when I have to…that means a lot to me that someone does care.
1 Like