I’m not sure where this will show up in relation to my first post but I feel the need to specify that my fiancé does not abuse drugs and alcohol and hasn’t since we first got together. My daughter is also not his but he has treated her as such since day one. They were very close. He helped me get clean and sober. And helped put my life back together a hundred times. Although addiction is different, I can’t imagine my life without him in it. After everything he’s done for me I want to be able to repay him by loving him like he has me. He is an amazing kind smart strong funny motivated man, it’s hard to believe this is happening to him. I also have a lot of guilt that my own illnesses played a role in pushing his stress levels and helped to trigger his illness. I’m happy I found this page because I really need some support and advice. Preferably positive. I know what life as a caregiver can be like, I’m more worried for his and my daughters relationship (she isn’t his) and also not risking making his condition worse. I do struggle (not with psychosis as much since I’ve been sober) but the anxiety and depression is real. I’ve been doing extremely well in my opinion, I’m not letting his condition hurt my progress either. I want to be someone who can help him not just hurt us both.
What a blessing to have had someone who cared enough to be with you through your own struggles. First of all, take care of yourself especially since you expressed anxiety and depression. Do you have a therapist and others who can support you in this?
It is good that he has a good relationship with your daughter. Can you talk with your daughter about how this affects her? I’m not sure how old she is.
One of the biggest things I think is: is he willing to get help for himself? He can only change himself and not you or your daughter.
My daughter is fairly young, she is only seven. As of right now I try not to even bring her up just because I want to avoid as much as possibly making her any sort of focus while he is being treated for his illness. This is all very new. Started around April of this year. I’m so grateful he is getting help much sooner than I’ve read in other stories as that seems to make a huge difference in recovery. He is making very slow progress. Not discouraging. But very slow. Similar to a lot of other people it is kind of trial and error, one step forward two steps back. I have lots of support and do regularly email/text a professional therapist. I also have sponsors to turn to instead of turning to my fiancé like I always have. In a way this will be very good for both of us for me to learn to deal alone so I can help him better