I’m glad you found one, you will be a valuable member of the group.
“I’m just so lonely!”.
Those were the words I clearly understood from the old gentleman who helped me carry my son’s belongings to a group home. They were the words of pain, words of strength, words that bonded me to a stranger and broke my heart in the space a few seconds.
Two days earlier, I had anxiously driven past the location of a group home, here in #####, to check the place out. It appeared to be a very clean and neat home in a west ##### location. Relief flooded over me as I inspected the home from a distance. This was to be the new temporary home for my son who copes with paranoid schizophrenia. My fears of the unknown were somewhat relieved when I saw a well kept home with a basketball goal on the side of the yard.
Little did I know, this place would also become a window into a world I didn’t know existed. My son would arrive at this group home the following day. I called the telephone number of the home and a kind voice answered. I explained who I was and gave the woman a brief description of my son. I asked for the house rules and learned I could bring some of his personal items over the following day.
I arrived at the home with a car full of things I thought would comfort my son as he recovered from the latest attack of his illness. As I drove up, an old gentleman approached my car. I was apprehensive at first. I didn’t know if he was dangerous. Who would be at this house with my son? Who would be caring for him while I was at work every day? Were the people here crazy? Were they dangerous? Was the staff going to mistreat my son? Were we in control of our lives anymore? With these thoughts rushing through my mind, I exited the car. The man approached. He mumbled something incoherent. I finally figured out he was offering to help me carry items inside. Hesitantly, I handed him a couple of items. As we walked inside, I very clearly understood him say…”I’m just so lonely!”
Time stopped, my heart broke.
Then I realized this old man was my biggest fear come to life. Would this be my son one day? Surely this man, just like my son, had been rocked, snuggled and loved beyond measure. Surely he had dreams of what he would be when he grew up and they never included being attacked by an illness that impairs the part of our body that we all rely on to protect us, guide us and allow us to provide for ourselves.
The artifice of life was removed by that old gentleman in the driveway.
Since that day, I’ve met 8 other men who live in the home. I’ve learned my son is the exception to the rule. He has a family that wants him to stay with them as often as possible. He has family that accompany him to his doctor’s appointment, family that is intricately involved in his care plan. He has family to share the holidays with. He has someone to simply talk to or to give him a hug when he needs it. The other men in the home do not.
My first reaction to the old gentleman and the other residents of the home was pity. Now I feel like a fool! How could I pity strength and courage like I have never displayed or experienced? This place has shown me how very ignorant I am.
I’ve had a lifetime of easy breezy! It’s been easy for me to get up and go to work everyday. I’ve received those glorious pats on the back for the accomplishments of the day. I’ve pranced down the street feeling quite spiffy about my prospects and future. I’ve never felt the weight of depression seep through my bones. Never felt the lead weight of it, telling me to just go back to bed. I’ve never felt my heart beating out of my chest, anxiety ripping through me at the thought of facing the work day. I’ve never experienced a paralyzing fear, that if I didn’t try harder to understand the bizarre thoughts running through my head, all of mankind would perish! I’ve never had the courage or strength these men display every day when they manage to get out of bed, shower, eat and face the day. I don’t pity them anymore. I am humbled by their courage and ashamed of my own ignorance. They have chosen to fight rather than succumb to suicide or the use of drugs to escape their torment. They are warriors. They fight. They fight for their lives.
Because of these men, I will no longer ignore Mental Illness. I will no longer keep quiet about. I will no longer feel ashamed or wonder if I did something wrong. I will do everything I can to share what I learn with as many people as possible. My hope is to share what I learn with all of you. Then you can share it with as many people as possible and we can begin to change how mental illness is perceived. We can educate ourselves, make ourselves aware of early symptoms, look for methods of coping until we have cures. In the interim, I will make a difference in the lives of these men.
I went to the house last week and made ice cream sundaes with them. Such a simple thing to me, but an out of the box night for them!
I don’t know why this thread was recommended to me with rules,have I broken any or offended anyone here? If so there was no intent,I come here as one of the only places like this on the earth. NAMI hasn’t really helped me.
Im new to this form
I’ve been careproviding for my older brother since I was 8years old with schizophrenia
I now have a girlfriend that I’ve been with for 10years who also was diagnosed schizophrenia!!!
I feel like crying knowing that this website exist
I’ve been needing help and support for a long time now
And I have a form of ptsd from everyday life
Doing the best I can to help with this…
I just would like to say hi first…
And introduce myself…
My name is Rodney in 27 and live in Santa Cruz ca
I do care providing here
Hi Rodney! Welcome to the forum!
Join right in - you have a lot of experience!
I posted in the forum with the topic “getting off invega”
About 5 mins ago
I hope to express my self in the full profundity of the phenomena that’s occurring in both of our lives…
I have never had anybody to talk with about these issues
I had to do endless research on this illness by myself
Im really shooken up by this
And felt like I’ve lived a very peculiar life with an amplification of responsibilities because of the amount of care engraved in my heart.
If you look in he forum I made
I’d love to elaborate more of our journey…
And hopefully learn a thing or two about the nature of what’s going on here…
Thank you hope for welcoming us to the group!
María and Rodney
Hello to all.
I have found a formula of medicines and herbs which help much to manage my schizophrnia.
The medicines I take are—
- Saphris (2 sublinguals before sleep)
- 2 quetiapine in morning (100 mg per tablet)
- 2 Clonazepam in morning (.5 mg per tablet)
- 1 Citalopram in mornimg (20 mg tablet)
- 1 Bupropion hcl in morning (150 mg tablet)
The herbs I take are—
- Valerian (x3 450 mg tablets in the morning)
- GABA (x3 750 mg tablets in the morning)
- Ashwagandha (x3 tablets in the morning)
- Melatonin (x3 gel gummies in the morning)
This plan has worked very well with me and I can go out into the world with more confidence.
also, check with a nutritionist and doctor if this formula is safe.
ok, good luck and blessings to all.
My son is also taking sarcosine as opposed to the prescribed psychotics.
@Fearless Finally reading guidelines and just saw this… Wow Your story and your care is amazing, inspiring and heart warming. Thank you (worth posting somewhere all can see – inspiration section?
This story made me cry. Thank you for sharing.
Ii cannot figure out how to post.
Hello, I am a new member as a caregiver for my mom. i am very concerned about her because she has been severely depressed. I would like to know more information about how people have dealt with this. Medications that my mom is on is way too many in my opinion. I am almost ready to say that weed might be the next best thing to try for my mother because she hasn’t been happy since the last time she went to the hospital. Please ideas of what to do. I need some advice. Thank you
Would it be ok to post and ask questions about a spouse here?Or is there another forum for spouses?
There are several spouses who are pretty active on here. Best wishes to you.
Good guidelines. What settings/preferences do I use to get a daily or weekly digest of posts? On the topics on which I’ve posted, I’m currently receiving emails for every single post. Have tried changing from tracking to watching to normal, with no effect. Thank you.
I appreciate your defining that we are in a stage of grief.
A new perspective for me that helps me understand the horrible sadness I feel watching a loved one suffer year after year after year.
And the awful necessity of setting boundaries for them and ourselves when it is unbearable.
Blessings from Vermont
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