Let us know how you and your loved one are doing in the new year.
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Hello. I keep tabs on my 63-year-old brother with the brain disease schizophrenia.
I had a good experience taking him to his primary doctor for a check-up last week. It went well because the appointment was first thing in the morning, so the clinic wasn’t busy. It was calm and well run. Early appointments are now my preference where he’s concerned. His lab worked showed that his A1C (diabetes/blood sugar rating) is within the normal range, so I’m relieved.
On the more challenging front, a couple of issues.
My patience ran short and I truly lost my temper with him two weeks ago. I absolutely lit into him about his irrational behavior. It felt bad to just lose control like that. It happened because I’m also taking care of my elderly mother, who now has dementia, and I am so, so tired.
Secondly, my brother needs two teeth pulled. It will happen in March. I know he had one pulled years ago and was very upset about it. He says he likes his new dentist more, and he says he’s ready for this second go-'round, but I’m not sure he can handle the post-op maintenance and hygiene.
Despite assisting with these medical issues, I’m actually pulling away from my sibling for awhile, doing less of the friendly sort of interactions I’ve worked on over the years. I just can’t do everything. I’m hoping for a surge of energy in the new year, or a new attitude.
Thanks for inquiring. Hope you are well.
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Well new year so far , I’m thankful my sibling is housed , has been able to prepare meals for himself , basic caretaking of himself , drive . And we are in touch daily via messaging since I live across the country.
My elderly father is in declining health still and theres a whole lot of worry and what if’s there .As he is the one letting my sibling live in his home and paying the mortgage . Something that will most likely not be able to continue much longer .
The clinical team I was working with in my siblings state filed several petitions for a state appointed guardianship on my brother’s behalf and was denied.
Even though he brought numerous history ,A clinical assessment advising it and the recommendation of the crisis team .
Sooo that’s now been turned over to me to review documents and see where I can go with it.
I really have no council of family members to help with the decision.
Of course I feel very conflicted about trying to make the decision, it’s different when an outside entity is doing it verses a family member lots to process !
But for today I’m thankful my Dad is getting a re set on meds to try.
My sibling is safe !
Thank you for the space 
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My update is that there is no update. My unmedicated friend has been silent going on five months now. I can see that he reads my messages and possibly views the links I send him, but, other than a single thumbs up icon on one of them, nothing.
This is not new behavior. In the past, even when we were in a sort of relationship (if you can call it that), months and once even a year passed without a peep. But now it’s unsettling since he is older and in extremely poor health. I assume I will get an urgent message when he has the next legal or health crisis; that’s how it usually goes. But I’m ok with it, and with my role as the only person “out there” from his past who stays in regular touch with him. If we were much younger and I were still expecting an actual relationship with him, it would probably be impossible to do what I do. But I was lucky enough to move on from him at an early age and build a life, something he never had a chance to do. I’m happy that he seems to trust me, and by now I think he has come to depend on my communications, so there’s that.
I feel deeply for anyone in any kind of relationship with a SZ-afflicted, but I have a special empathy for those who still hope to be a real partner to them. It’s hard to keep staying positive, but for many, that’s the only choice, other than choosing to leave. My experience is that, even if you move on, it is hard to be fully free from them. So it’s important to make your peace with that.
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Hi there, my update is that my son is going on 71 days in county jail. He went off his meds completely about10 months ago and deteriorated to this point. He is 29 and was diagnosed when he was 20. They have kept him in isolation for most of his time in jail, from what I can gather from our brief phone conversations when he calls on the jail phone.Him being in isolation indicates that he is unable to follow jail rules and is making trouble with other inmates. He is in for assault to my husband, burglary and unlawful entry. I have hired lawyer and we are trying to get him in mental health court, but I am not sure of the status of that. He has a hearing on the 30th. He sounds angry and delusional on our few phone conversations from jail. Last year at this time I had never dreamed he would be in jail, he was always a very moody difficult schizophrenic person, but not a criminal. You never know the roller coaster this horrible brain disease will cause. It is heartbreaking, I tried for over a decade to help him, so many hours and money spent on his care, it is heartbreaking to know he is alone in jail when he should be in a hospital getting stabilized.
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Hi, it is good that you have come to terms and don t expect much from your friend. You are a good loyal friend and he probably knows that and looks forward to your communications with him. It is good you have not given up on him. He doesn’t have anyone else it seems, which is so common with this illness. Most people do not understand it and do not want to deal with it. That is what happened with my son, his brothers , other family, and even his father do not want anything to do with him.
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