I wrote here moons ago. My brother was given a preliminary diagnosis of SZ in April. He was prescribed (generic anti-anxiety) pills and he most likely hadn’t been taking them. His condition worsened
Two days ago my Dad and I managed to get him to a hospital where he voluntarily decided to stay. His decision was made after lots of persuasion from our side. He agreed without knowing the fact that his phone would be taken away for the entirety of his stay + first two weeks there would be no contact with the family
Him agreeing to the hospitalization still feels like a miracle, he was really not safe out in the streets sleeping in the car. The winters are cold here. He was slowly loosing himself
But I’m worried about how he is there, I miss him (I practically never saw him, he’d just pop in to eat something and then run away. But I still could text him even though he’d usually leave on read). I feel like I somehow betrayed him because he made it seem like by not telling all the conditions of hospitalization I was deceiving him. And I wasn’t 100% blunt and direct but I never lied, I just didn’t mention some things
Feeling very weird
Getting him to the hospital was very emotionally taxing
But I’m still not sure if I’m relieved
I feel you its, a tough space I have felt like this many times myself .
I’m glad your brother chose volunteer hopefully less traumatic for him .
Give yourself grace you are trying to help him have the best possible outcome with his diagnosis .
You can always call the hospital a d give back history if want and will be able to visit soon .
Stay strong sis your not alone
Thank you! I hope so as well
I appreciate your kind words!
The hospital called today, they put him on bunch of pills and he’s sleeping all day long, he’s disoriented by the meds and sometimes walks into walls. I feel even more worried even though I’m aware that’s their tactic: to medicate them for a week or two and then go easier with the meds + involve patients in group therapy, personal therapy and so on
But I try to think the difficulties he’s going thru right now are easier than everything he’d been enduring before the admission
It’s normal for you to feel guilty about this, but remember how many other families can’t get their loved one in the hospital. You’re actually lucky in a way because he is now getting treatment.
Interesting you were able to talk him into admitting himself. How old is your brother? My son with Sz is 38. He’s been involuntarily hospitalized five times and it never feels right. Good luck …
This ,
I to have to constantly remind myself .
When it becomes soooooo much I try to focus only on what I can control. Like making the phone call or visiting but I cannot control how my sibling is reacting to the meds or what caused the hospitalization in the 1st place.
This disease is frustrating for everyone involved.
I hope your sibling will gain some tools from the group therapies I will say that part always seemed to help my sibling weather inpatient or rehab programs.
often they have become so isolated .
Thank you for reminding! It’s quite sobering! Him being admitted to the hospital had been a long dream of ours. I think, we’d been wanting it so hard since summer.
I’m very sorry about your struggles with your son. I’m sick worried being a sister, I can’t imagine how it’s for a mother…
My brother’s 27, his admission still feels like a miracle. I think there’s no clear-cut way of making them stay in the hospital… But maybe my experience will help you somehow?
my relationship with my brother
Since April (after his only meeting with a doc) I’ve been texting him practically every day saying that I love him, sending funny pictures, wholesome memes. One time he asked if I was disappointed in him and I wrote him an essay on why I wasn’t. I know that he hated himself and thought everyone shared the sentiment so I tried to be louder than these nasty thoughts. I doubt I succeeded but I was the only person who texted him every day. And maybe the only person whose phone calls he wasn’t declining. Mind you, our relationship, before the illness, had always been good, we share the same values and lots of similar life experiences. While talking with him, I’d tell some silly stories from my uneventful (thankfully) life and tell him to go to a hospital. I wasn’t saying sz or psychosis or whatever. I was hinting on depression and saying that I wanted him in my life and he needed meds to live a better life than the one he was having.
no place to stay
Also, he wasn’t living at home (he couldn’t stay there even an hour) and was living in a room his friends let him in. The room started being renovated so he had no place to stay. Winters are cold here. Maybe, it also contributed to his decision.
at a hospital
At a hospital, while talking about admission, these points might have contributed to the success
it was a public place with glass doors, he surely didn’t want to make a scene
it was a private one, the best alternative to government hospitals where methods are not so democratic. we made sure to get this across.
he signed the papers where he agreed to be hospitalised but a doc still sat him down and told him that he must really agree to the medication and 45-day stay. It should be HIS decision. God, was I panicking he’d run away. But he said “I agree”. After some persuasion, of course. Maybe me saying “you see, they see you as a person, not someone who lost their marbles. They want YOUR decision” was crucial. Because he was calling himself a psycho and stuff
My Dad and I were unwavering in our belief that he should admit himself and maybe he had so little will left he couldn’t oppose us…
I understand your feeling Completely. I have been dealing with my son for 9 years now. he is living with me and taking his meds. He was homeless for a while back in 2016 through 2017.
At Times, I felt guilty because I sent him to my Brother to CALIF where he ended up homeless and behaving bad in public: public intoxication, inappropriate clothing, not following queue lines, etc… whic caused him to be in trouble with the law.
I am happy that he is with me and taking his meds eventhough his meds are still not helping with him hearing voices.
The illness causes isolation because most of people woth SchizoEffective behavior are paranoid…
oh… you’re very strong. well, when sending him you sure thought that it’d be something helpful. also, you’ve been looking after him for so long i’m sure he appreciates it even if he doesn’t say it. i hate it so much that weird behaviours rooted in mental illness are treated harshly and by the police… like can you see the person is just not okay??
yeah, i saw how my brother was sure people look at him angrily and stuff, while they were just minding their business. tough world people with sz live in, for sure…
some people think that SMI is a curse. Stigma and discrimination can make mental health problems worse and trap people in a cycle of illness. Also, mentally ill can end up in Jail at times and put next to people who commited evil crimes and expose them to danger.
Many years ago, I knew the mother of a mentally person who was taking to a State hospital and he was killed in the hospital after staying there for 7+ years and the mother was rewarded with high amount of money. her son begged her numerous times to take him of that state hospital and she kept refusing. I keep thinking about him how the poor man was killed!!
It sure is a hard world for people with SZ. No one knows what to do with them when they do not want to take meds and are scary and delusional. I called the police every week when my son went off his meds and begged them to take him to hospital, but they would not and now he is rotting away in county jail in isolation. Who knows how traumatized he will be when he gets out and how bad his SZ will be as he is refusing meds and completely delusional in isolation due to his behavior in jail.
I know! It is torture for someone in his condition to be in isolation for weeks on end, not kidding. They can t deal with him in general jail population which should indicate he is unfit for trial. The lawyer I hired is supposed to try to get him in mental health court, which they call a more therapeutic way, they can mandate meds and have a team with doctor and therapist and case worker and possible in patient setting. Apparently that is not easy to get into here in Illinois, they say he may be too violent. Most young men with SZ completely unmedicated can be prone to violat behavior, so go figure. I have been texting attorney but no response. Not sure what the court hearing is on Jan 30th, they keep continuing everything. I kept praying. A lot of rough stories with this illness. Thanks for your response.