My son refused ECT recommended by his Drs. The Dr directly said to him “so you think you are the anti christ” at which point he looked at me and said I need to keep my f ing mouth shut and he walked out. He felt betrayed by me but in actuality he had told the other DR that on a previous visit and this Dr was referring to that. The way home was upsetting with him asking about suicide. If he provokes someone to kill him is that suicide? If he commits suicide will he go to heaven? and he wants to leave earth and go to heaven. As crazy as it sounds it was the most coherent he had been in awhile. I didn’t feel like he was a danger to himself as much as just being upset about the appointment. Throughout the week he’s made several calls to 911 to report that the Legion has a hit out on him and has de boned him, taken off his fingerprints to frame him etc. Yet he doesn’t seem paranoid. He’s been paranoid before and that is the absolute worst. Once he called while we were at the mall with him just not right next to him. The police called us from his cell to say they had him outside. The other times were at home and he said God told him too yet none of these times had he met the criteria for a hold. He had told the police that he’s been hanging out with a demon and wanted to know if it was illegal. The cop told him its not illegal but he probably shouldn’t if hes a bad influence. Other than these 911 calls he’s silent about this delusion. Rarely talks, paces in his own world. Manipulates things that aren’t there. Asks for drives quite a bit and listens to same song over and over. He does want to go to the mall alot to walk and because he gets a soda or tea which we don’t keep in the house. Actually we can’t keep any beverage other that water available to him or he consumes the whole thing right away such as a gallon of milk in one evening and anything else and vomits. We hide individual servings of beverages he likes and place them in the fridge here and there. He’s fully involved with his delusions all day. He starts a new med tomorrow Vraylar. I really hope it helps. I feel myself getting used to this every day and accepting just for self preservation. This isn’t good enough though. This illness changes and has so many twists and turns. Sorry to ramble, Im tired. Its 2am and he’s still up pacing even after Ativan and Melatonin
I am so sorry you are experiencing what you are with your son. I experienced a similar place with my own son recently, and called the police and said he could not stay in our home anymore. In my case, we jumped through all the hoops, and he was hospitalized…thank God! He continues to be there, continues to refuse medication, and in the coming week they will have a hearing to initiate involuntary medication. He is angry and won’t talk or see anyone from his family, he continues to be delusional, and I am deeply worried about what we will have to work with when he is discharged.
I am still so inexperienced in my own journey, I have little to offer you other than to let you know I hear you. I hear your heart and your diligence, stamina, and love for your son. I am hoping the Vraylar improves your circumstances at home…and gives you both some peace.
You’re not rambling. You’re just telling your story and that’s perfectly OK, so worry not. I know what it’s like and how you must feel every day. My fiancé also has malicious spirits in his head and he used to think he was God. Lately he has been very depressed and suicidal. He’s on Buspar and Seroquel. He does the same thing with drinks. He bought a gallon of milk today and drank it whole in 5 minutes. Then he bought water and soda at the store. He’s never vomited though… I mean he’s 6’5, so I guess he can stomach it. I went to the psychiatrist the other day with him and he felt angry about what I was telling the psychiatrist and how the psychiatrist reacted (he told me I should leave him). He was shaking and kicking the wall when we got out to make the next appointment. Once we exited the clinic he said he wanted to break up and went on a rant. Then he apologized for everything and for having hurt me. He has Schizoaffective, which is a subset of Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder (Type 1 for him).