Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I said i wouldnt turn my back on him

My son has been in 5 hospital in 6 months now. He met a girl who said he wasnt crazy, she understands him. He quit all meds 3 weeks ago. They have been staying here sneaking in late at night. They are smoking lots of pot. We said none in the house ever. So they go for walks. They are both 21. Tonight i asked him what his plans are. He lost it and started yelling, laughing, crying, telling me he was god and i should be afraid of him and his powers. I told him i wasnt kicking him out of the house i am just trying to help him. He belittled me more, packed a bag and left. It is so hard because he cant take care of himself but i cant take care of him. The gf has mental illness also. She buys into his delusions. I know im not supposed to let his words get to me but they do. My husband says “all he does is contradict himself”. I know this is an illness. It is just so damn hard. It hurts that he left. But i have guilt because im kind of glad he did. All i can do is cry. Hes never left before.

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Dear Pugglemom,

I hope you will take this time to take care of yourself. It sounds like your whole family is going through a difficult time.

It’s okay to cry. I have heard that tears carry away negative things.


If I was in your place, and I probably will be one day, I would feel a mix of relief & guilt too.

I would guess that it’s only a matter of time before both of them draw enough attention to themselves that the police take them in for an evaluation. Maybe they’ll both get the help they need from this?

Since he’s left your house this time, you can at least tell the hospital that you’re not sure if he can come home or not with a clear conscience so they might keep him a little longer.


Did you talk with his pdoc?

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We have a shortage of psychiatrist here, he sees a p.a. who told him what a great turn around he has made so quickly! He thought my son is doing awesome wo his meds. But my son is smart enough to not tell him he still thinks of himself as God. It is an uphill battle that is for sure. Trying to think positive thoughts and stay positive (and take my zoloft)…

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Sometimes i get scared i won’t stop. I do fine and i accept the new reality. I understand that my son isn’t who he used to be. And i still love and support him. But out of the blue a song will come on the radio or something and i lose it again. It gets old. But im still new in this game. That and menopause im pretty sure are contributing to making me a basket case :grinning: