I need help! My husband died 4 months ago and he and I were responsible for our daughter who has schizophrenia and uses the drug, DXM, found in cough medicine pills. These are found cheaply in Dollar General, Family Dollar, Walmart. They increase schizophrenia type delusions, paranoia, and more.
She is 28 and has increased her usage tremendously. So much so that she sees threats every where. She is extremely angry with me and her relatives next door. She makes threats about pulling her auntās hair out and wanting me to be burned. She talks in strange voices. She reared back with a can as if she would hit me at close range. I ducked and she laughed.
She goes into a rage whenever she thinks someone is being critical of her. Much of this is imagined because she hears messages from the TV and radio and computer. She has tarot cards which gives her messages. She loves the devil and reads the Satanic Bible. A few days ago she said she didnāt want to live with me anymore because I lie and have always been a bad mother. (She has always said I was the best mother in the world)
Living with her is a minute by minute roller coaster. She screams obscenities when I try to talk to her and tells me to shut up. The list goes on and on. Two days ago she went into detox and her ACT team counselor said he would talk to her about finding somewhere else to live when she got out. I talked to her on the phone today and she is no longer going to a 28 day facility and says she wants to live with me. Afterwards my anxiety shot up again. I canāt live like this anymore. Am I wrong to want her to live somewhere else. What else is there for her?
Does anyone have any suggestions for me?
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@vscjunk2261 I am so sorry you and your daughter are dealing with this and at a time when you are both grieving makes it that much more difficult, I canāt advise what is best for you-only you can do that. I can say having been through it before that your daughter does not mean any of the cruel and hateful things she says it is absolutely the disease and drugs talking. My son did the exact same things to me before he got stable. He too took many drugs (in retrospect he says he would have taken anything to ākillā the voices in his head) He would never have gotten stable or on the right meds and remained compliant and achieved remission if I had not gotten full guardianship of him (through probate court) when he was at the most ill. I also became his rep payee after getting him SSDI so I had control over his doctor visits and his every day needs and housingā¦and it took several doctors and several medications and a lot of vigilance but today he is sane and stable and we have a loving mother/son relationship under the same roof with few infrequent set backs knock wood --He canāt handle living alone because alone his āwellnessā weakens and his paranoia and even voices tend to return. Here with me he feels safe and happy and he stays relatively voice free on the clozapine he takes. Once the voices subsided a few years ago he stopped seeking āhighsā that and the fact that he lives with me and had no money of his own made it impossible to obtain drugsā¦He has been clean and sober for at least 7 years now. I hope my story helps a little in your search for the right answers that fit youā¦People as ill as your daughter and my son seldom can obtain the help they need on their own and it is hard for them to find one other person that will advocate on their behalf as passionately as their mom will. That is one reason I think they attack us so painfully as they do because they have to let their anguish out some how and somewhere deep down inside I think they know that we will love them unconditionally even when they are unable to return the love when we need it mostā¦best wishes to you both.
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Sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. We are going through similar with our son. And no you are not wrong for wanting her to live somewhere else. Hubs and I have gotten to that point with our son after 7 years. I am with you on the stress, I feel it is getting the best of me.
Son came off his meds in May and has spiraled down since. My son also has a perverse interest in satanic things and tarot cards. It scares me and makes me sick to my stomach when I see satanic symbols he has painted on the walls in his bedroom downstairs.
After a week in the hospital one week ago (police 1013ād him) we told him he can no longer live here. Hubs and I have done everything in our power to help him, for 7 years. We donāt know what else to do other than make him leave and suffer the consequences of his choice to come off medications and do street drugs. So he is in a boarding home right now.
From what you have described, I would say your daughter should be committed to the hospital since she is a danger to you. Not sure if you have done that already. We have had our son committed several times. Itās so hard.
Best of luck to you (hugs).
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I am scared to have my 32 yr old son live w/me & husband (his step dad), who he has wanted to beat up for years. He has already physically hurt his grandmother & beat up his dad while living w/them. He was arrested for terroristic threats against a family member. How did you find a boarding home? I want to look into that.
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Thatās so sad, especially about his grandmother and dad. From what you describe, he does not need to be living with any family member. Is there any way you could get him committed to a hospital for being a threat to others?
During sonās week long hospital stay and several conversations with his caseworker there, I told them that he cannot come back home. This is the first time we have not let him come back home. So the hospital caseworker suggested this boarding home. I would have never known about it if I had not told him that son could not come back here. Apparently caseworkers have lists that the general public are not privy to, because I have spent endless hours online trying to find boarding homes I would hear others talk about, to no avail.
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You have been the greatest help. Currently he is in jail, he called me today & said he has no idea why heās in jail, he doesnāt remember the last 4 days (when he went missing), & feels like he was born yesterday. When and if heās released from jail, Iām going to have to commit him, involuntarily, to a mental hospital. He is strongly against this.
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Yes, they never want to go to the hospital. Son was horrified and filled with angst that the police were taking him there, but I was very thankful they did.
In my state of GA, we have mental health courts. In the county I live in, the charge needs to be at least a felony to qualify. Donāt quite understand this rule 
but thatās just the way it is. Do you have mental health courts where you are? The courts design a plan that the felon has to adhere to, such as taking meds, reporting in every week or two among other stipulations. They pretty much force them to be medicated, otherwise they go back to jail. As a side note, I read the fine print of this court and couldnāt really envision my son adhering to all the things he would have to do to stay in it. It was a very stringent schedule.
But if I were in your shoes, I would do whatever it takes to get your son committed.
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We live in TX. There are mental health courts, but he has never been in one. He does have a felony charge though from his past. Do you think him being a felon, it would be easier to get him committed? Is that what you mean?
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If you sonās past criminal history was of a violent nature, that would most likely be more ammunition for you to use in the probate court to have him committed to the hospital. I know from our own experiences, the probate courts want a lot of reasons for the judge to actually commit him.
I was actually talking about two different options you may have; i.e., the mental health court, or you having him committed when he gets out of jail. You may want to inquire with the courts how having him committed immediately when he is released from prison would work. Iām not sure about that scenario.
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Thank you, Catherine. You helped me so much. You reaffirmed what my husband and I have thought in the past. There is no way she could live alone. And you are right, no one can advocate for her like her mom. By this time I had calmed down and already agreed for her to come home in a few days. But I was very firm with her about some changes because I canāt survive like this. She knows how to manipulate me. She manipulates the professionals. Before my husband was diagnosed with cancer (a year ago), we lived in VA. Her first trip to Southern Virginia Mental Health Institution she stayed 8 days. When we were asked to pick her up we had a team meeting. The professionals spoke glowingly about her intelligence and how aware she was of her disease. They asked me if I found her much improved. I asked them about her issues with her ex-husband. They hadnāt heard about that. So they started questioning her about the very unhealthy relationship. She became angry and actually threw a pen at the psychiatrist. They sent her home. By her 3rd trip there they were able to āget herā and kept her 38 days. We had just helped her get an apartment. She started using right away and we had to get her out of that situation and bring her home.
This has been going on for 10 years. From what Iām learning is that very few people with this dual diagnoses get better when they are on their own. I am going to try to get help for myself.
I am so happy you have a better relationship with your son. I like to hear happy endings. Thank you again for your comments.
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Thank you for your comments. My daughterās suffering got a name 10 years ago. She has been hospitalized over 30 times. Since Feb. she has gone to the hospital 5 times. Last week when I had to call the police to take her, she went away calmly and did not resist. Usually I go too. But she had been so bad that I didnāt feel like sitting with her for 2 hrs. That was my first mistake. We had moved from Virginia a year ago and she had shown her rages and delusions so many times that they knew her. I went to the hospital to check on her and they said they might release her. First time this has happened with her not being admitted. People had always told me to just refuse to take her home. I had never done that. But I did this time. And then I went home. They let her walk home in heavy traffic! On her release papers it said she was paranoid schizophrenic with moderate drug addiction.
Sounds like you have been in similar circumstances with your son. I hope he can manage living on his own. Please keep me informed. I have decided to let her come home with guidelines. We can compare the results and help each other.
Thank you again for your help.
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How hard that must be. My daughter has not been physical with me in 7 yrs. (10 years being with us as an adult) but when she is out of her mind she makes a lot of threats. There are alternate housing for your son. Mental health people donāt suggest it but if you ask they are supposed to find housing. Good luck.
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@vscjunk2261 I always hope my experiences help someone in some small way. Keep posting. 
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Thank you for sharing your experiences. Thatās what I need to know Iām not alone. I am so overwhelmed right now. Other parents w/sz family member do not have their son/daughter constantly in & out jail, he cannot stay home, which is the trouble, he gets arrested wherever he goes.
vscjunk2261, thank you! Finally someone said that their son/daughter manipulates them! My 32 sz son does that to me exactly, he is also a liar. He can tell me to my face that he didnāt drink w/his eyes bloodshot & smelling like a brewery out of his pores. His parole ofcr tells me situations that happen & my son says he had amnesia. Where do you draw the line? Do you say everything is okay cuz he has schizophrenia?
Wow, canāt believe the hospital just sent your daughter away like that. Unreal.
Yes we do have similar circumstances. Iām not sure how long son will make it in this independent living home. He was texting me yesterday, sending videoās of himself. He is still so delusional. And so sunburned since he has been walking everywhere in the blazing hot sun. Iāve read that schizophrenics should avoid getting overheated, so Iām sure this is not helping him.
Hopefully things will go ok with your daughter at home. Iām still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Just saying I had a roadblock, tried to get info on getting him committed after jail. His parole ofcr was extremely rude and defensive w/me, said he didnāt know how to go about it, itās completely on the family to do, it was not their jurisdiction. When I kept asking questions, said he would no longer discuss anything further w/me. So that is the kind of help we parents get in San Antonio, TX.